Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry christmas to you and yours, the ones who walk on twos and all fours, may santa grant your dearest wish, may you eat a succulent dish, May your hearts be filled with joy and peace, may your tables fill with a wonderous feast, may you get that special treat, but most of all don't forget to eat!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Happy Anniversary

A few weeks ago in my calendar I noticed a little reminder that said "Happy Anniversary" on Nov 8th...

WTF

I wracked my brain for days trying to figure out what this was all about... I searched every day planner. I checked every digital calendar. I was at a loss... I couldn't for the life of me figure it out... Then I sturck on the brilliant idea of checking my blog... after all At that time in my life I was recording everything that happened to me... and this is what I found "WOW is all I can say"

Go ahead and read it....

Back yet?

Yeah One year ago today that dumb fucker Bruce* asked me to be his steady Girlfriend...

When I figured it out I sat in the computer chair for a minute waiting for the soul sucking pain to start... it never did

There was some anger and a little bit of heart ache... but none of the debilitating pain I had experienced in the past...

I'm seriously glad that his little incident happened... He's a Dumb Fuck. A Cheater. A Liar. An AssHole. I hope one day he experiences what he put me through. Then I can laugh point my finger and say... THAT"S KARMA BEOTCH!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Here is where I must admit

Well its time to admit a really bad... bad truth...

My last few posts were all written on the same day and then scheduled to post. I spaced the dates out so that it looked like I was more active than I was.

Now the reason for this confession.... its time to start a new adventure.... with a new person. On September 18th, 2009 I met the GreatDane. He is this amazing, extraordinary, fantastic human being. I'll tell you a brief version of how we met:

I posted an ad on craigslist (yes in the personals section). Purposefully I made it long and filled with great little quips. The first (and only) email I got that truly sounded like it was written by someone who had read my ad (he commented on a cupholder quip I had hidden in the middle somewhere) was from GreatDane.

The stars were aligned perfectly that night. We exchanged a few emails and then phone numbers, and then we met... at my favorite little place downtown. I got there early (like I always do) and had a little while till his arrival. I ordered my Guinness, was tapping my foot to Finnegan's Wake; when suddenly I noticed this mountain of a man come strolling in.... HOLY SHIT its him. I recognized him from his pic. I damn near choked on my beer and almost fell off of my stool.

This guy has it going on! wowsa! He's 6'2" and built like a pro football linebacker (not some scraggly college kid) and the dimple on his chin could hold enough water to solve the drought here in Vegas. His eyes! they are this deep liquid brown like that sexy commercial from Dove chocolates a few years ago... yummy yummy....

now all the good looks aside, HE's FUCKING SMART!!! and funny and witty and compassionate. and he remembers the little details... by the end of the first date he had my birthday remembered, my son's birthday remembered and he knew my eye color.

Since then we have seen each other about once a week and we talk every day.. either a phone conversation or a text conversation; sometimes both. I'm completely gaga over this guy... But I am NOT making the same mistakes with him that I made with Kurt... oops I mean Bruce*... (HAHAHAHAHA).

We have both agreed to take things slow and we BOTH mean it. I find myself anticipating his text messages. :) And he has admitted (more than once) that he keeps his phone in his hand just in case I send a random message throughout the day. The best part about us is that we have great conversations. I mean really great, awesome, amazing conversations. We can (and have) talked about everything from politics to sex (intellectual convo... and dirty convo on that last subject)...

We like just enough of the same things that we can enjoy time together. We also have enough different likes that we can happily spend time away from each other. and rather than trashing my array of likes, he simply accepts them and has made no attempt to change them. For instance: This last weekend was our Renfaire... as some of you know I'm a huge Ren Geek. I dress up, I talk in the queen's english and I loathe the stupid fairies that think their cool even though they have nothing to do with the era of the Rennaisance.

The GreatDane cannot stand the Renfaire... but rather than make fun of me or make disparaging remarks he simply kept abreast of what I was doing and even asked me if I was enjoying myself. What a sweetie.

Anyhoot... we're coming up on a month of knowing each other and we're staying on track. No moving too fast, no moving too slow. We have an established daily routine (and are establishing a weekly one). We have even embarked on a writing project together (he's a writer too!).

Keep your fingers crossed for me...

"What about DeveloperD?" you ask... well that's fodder for another blog... I'll keep you posted... LOL


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Exit Stage Left

Now I have been on A LOT of first dates. Some good, some bad, some confusing. But I can honestly say I have never been on a truly horrible first date... well I there was a time when I could say that... now I can say I have been on a horrible first date.

Henceforth in this blog this particular D-bag shall be referred to as: "Mr. My-way-or-the-highway" [Mr. MWOTH]

So we met after a monday night football game... ok he was watching football and I was watching the two hour season premier of "House" (Hugh Laurie I love you!).

We met at a park and were going to throw the old pigskin around... but when we got there it was two windy. I suggested that we walk along the path that winds around the park. Its level and short I figured we could do a couple of laps and talk.

The following conversation happened at the very beginning of our date... hell I was barely out of the Jeep. I should have known better.

Him: "are all those yours?" (referring to the stickers on my jeep)
Me: "Yeah. Why?"
Him: "Your really into Girl-power"
Me: "Yup I believe in being a strong woman"
Him: "What is a weak woman? What is a strong woman? I don't think there is a difference."
Me: "Well sure there is.. there are different definitions for different points of view, I consider myself a strong woman because I am ok with my sexuality and my femininity and I don't let people walk all over me" (the exception to this is my baby sister and my son but I didn't tell him that)
Him: "Well your wrong there is no such thing a strong woman"

He argued with me about everything! Everything I said was wrong, hell even the stickers on the back of my jeep were wrong!

When we started I turned to walk clockwise around the park... he says "What are you doing?"
Me: "um... walking around the park"
Him: "Yeah but your going the wrong way, everyone always walks counter-clockwise. I never want to walk clockwise along the path because it makes you look different"
Me: "oh... I always walk clockwise. I don't really care how I look to other people"
Him: "Why would you do that?"
Me: "Well because its a natural direction for me to walk. Clockwise is traditionally called sun-wise because its the path the Sun travels, it's believed to be the sacred path by many ancient religions"
Him: "oh, like who"
Me: "well the Ancient Egyptians and the Sumerians"
Him: "Are they really THAT ancient?"
Me: "um yeah, they were the beginnings of civilization"
Him: "Well I think your wrong about that"

Many of our conversations went like this. Every time I made a personal comment and even if I backed it up with solid evidence he told me I was wrong.... Even my personal opinions were wrong.. Since when has a personal opinion ever been wrong? there is a resaon its called a PERSONAL opinion.

After our single lap around the park (he was huffing and puffing) we sat down, and started talking but very simple stuff. I figured it would keep the arguing down... boy howdy was I ever wrong. We started talking about flowers and I mentioned that that I would not be as excited to get a dozen roses as I would be to get a single blossom of my fave flower.

Him: "So you wouldn't appreciate the gesture?"
Me: "Well yeah but not as much as I would if a guy hunted down a single blossom of my fave"
Him: "But it's the thought that counts"
Me: "sure if there is some thought in it, it doesn't take much thought to pick up a dozen red roses"

We argued for almost ten minutes along this vein of conversation...

Him: "it doesn't matter if you like them, it matters if I appreciate the gift I'm giving you"
Me: *stunned silence, jaw hangs open* sputter.... hambearssasa? "Dude that's like getting a girl who doesn't bowl a bowling ball because YOU like to watch bowling on tv"
Him: "You can compare bowling balls to roses, they're not even the same thing"
Me: *stunned silence, jaw hangs open* thinking to myself he doesn't get it, he really has no clue that its not about what the gift is....
Him: "So you wouldn't like it if we were walking along and I saw a pretty flower and picked it for you?"
Me: "that's not what I am saying at all... that would be..."
Him: interrupting me "Yes that is exactly what you are saying"
Me: "You know what I'm done here, I'm going to head home now. Have a nice night"

At this point I got up and walked away without even looking back. I can't tell you what his reaction was because I didn't stick around. Where did this guy come from? Is he for fucking real? Where do people learn these crazy things? Am I wrong?

You know what I don't care what he thinks.. All of his arguments were based on what he thinks... Nothing I said was right because he didn't agree with me, and since he didn't agree with me I must be wrong.

I'm not saying he's wrong, he's just not on the same wavelength as I... and seriously... I can't ever see myself with a guy who would tell me that everything I think is wrong... after all I am a strong woman.
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hindu or Buddhist?

The alternate title to this is "Here a little, there a little, everywhere a little dig"
There are some people I know who like to think that they are Buddhists... I say like to "think" because modern Americans can never be true Buddhists. There are a plethora of reasons for this. too many to list. I'm not saying that you can't live by the Buddhist ideals, I'm just saying that to become a true Buddhist is out of the reach of most people (we're just WAY to materialistic).

Now the reason for this rant....

A lot of these wannabe Buddhists will end their conversations with "namaste". Like this makes them authentic or something.... it grates on my very very very last nerve... mostly because they have no idea what it means... they say it because "everyone else does".... grrrrrrrrrrrr

so without further ado:

na.ma.ste [nuhm-uh-stey]
~noun
a conventional Hindu expression on meeting or parting, used by the speaker usually while holding the palms together vertically in front of the bosom.

did you get that? ITS FUCKING HINDU!!!! as a matter of fact its the HINDU equivalent of "aloha" it has absolutely no religious meaning whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!

So not only is it NOT a religious term, its not even a fucking Buddhist term... As a matter of fact the etymology of the word is as such:

"salutatory gesture," 1948, from Hindi, from Skt. namas "bowing" + te, dat. of tuam "you" (sing.). Used as a word of greeting from 1967.

JEEZUS H CHRISTO its not even an "ancient word" its probably something some damn hippie decided to use to make himself look cool.... now its being used by a bunch of new age hippies to make them look cool.... and they don't even know why they are using it....

fucking ass monkeys need to pull your heads out of the proverbial sand and start doing your own research... stop doing what "everyone else is doing" and start being your own person...

oh how I hate hippies

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Crap its got a name...

Main Entry: polyamorous
Part of Speech: adj
Definition: pertaining to partipation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships

So apparently I am in a polyamorous relationship. Check it out on wikipedia. So weird. I never thought to find myself in one. Its not 100% fulfilling for me. I want that traditional man and woman monogamy thing.

How do I feel about this? I really don't know. On the one hand I very much care for DeveloperD, but on the other... lets just say I'm selfish and want him all to myself. This is never going to happen.

I could possibly be accused of using this relationship to fulfill my needs until I find "the one". So what if I am? is it really a big deal? No one is getting hurt. We all know what we are doing. We're consenting adults.

my normally jealous side is getting quite the workout. I have had to learn to keep the beast under a very strict control. I am very impressed with myself. You should be to! hell if this were a normal relationship and I found out my sigfig was banging some other broad.. well after I got done slicing her into very small pieces and feeding them to my dog, I'd cut his nuts off and make him eat them...

See you should be proud. I have not had any serious homicidal urges lately.

ahem

yeah

so well... I'm still dating other people. if you can call what I do dating... jeez its usually more like I date other people... most guys never call back after the first date.... sigh

I better not be stuck with this poly shit. its not really my cup of tea. It'll do for now, but its not going to be a long term thing. Even if I don't find someone to get serious with anytime soon, I can't say how much longer I'll be doing this. its very emotionally draining, and mentally as well.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Happy Belated Anniversary

One Year ago (plus a few days) I posted my first blog on here. Lots of seriously crazy shit has been documented on these hallowed pages. Everything from my relationship to Bruce* to the various crazy dates I have been on. I haven't been as diligent as I would have liked in the last few months, but I am going to try and rectify that.

Remember that long ago thing... Charlie? Well we're still friends, but we never went on a that second date... as a matter of fact I've only seen him four times in the last year(if you include our first date) and one of those times was to help him move.

If you've read the previous two posts you would know that I'm in a strange kind of relationship with DeveloperD. I still don't know where its going, but we shall see.

My Son is flourishing in special ed... his speech is so much better now. His gross motor skills need some more improvement, but they are better than before.

I started my own business... Eventually I'll get the website up and then I'll blog about that too.

I have decided that dating is for the birds and I've got wings... no matter how often I say "THAT'S IT! I give up, I'm never dating again" I always end up going back to check my stupid profiles. Hell I've even posted an ad on cragslist....

The crazy thing is.... sometimes its all worth it.

The one and only GeoDude, Super Hot Geologist guy, has finally moved away... not too far just further north in the state, but I doubt I'll be seeing him ever again. Last time I saw him was in a parking lot where he was bringing me back MY PS3 after weeks of me leaving messages on his phone and sending texts wondering where the hell he is and If I was going to be getting it back... needless to say my precious is now at home and hot from all the Oblivion and Legos Batman that have been pumped into in the last few days...

Life is generally good, like everyone else I have my ups and downs.

I've finally officially "gotten over" Bruce. Which basically means that I no longer have a minor heart attack every time he is mentioned in conversation (which disturbingly enough happens a lot lately). I am happy to report though that through some great info I've gotten recently I have found out that all those trips to the GYM for him have worked out... looks like he's put on about 20 more pounds of "lazy fat guy plays video games" weight... HAHAHAHA I am just evil enough to be totally stoked that I m losing weight and getting so much hotter than when he and I dated, meanwhile he is putting on the pounds and looking more and more like the bodacious loser he is.

soo... ok that was totally a jaded ex gf rant.... LOL

Well now that's all over with. The year has been interesting to say the least... I'm looking forward to another year of craziness... not really. I hope that by this time next year I can say that I am in a stable committed relationship and happy. Keep your fingers crossed....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, September 18, 2009

What would you call it?

Ok so last week I talked about DeveloperD and the strange relationship we're in. We're dating each other and sleeping together, but we're not serious.

We're not supposed to be serious.... however if viewed from the outside you would say we are serious... like exclusive serious... except we're not.

Its like this: We see each other more than once a week, we have not only met each others kids but the kids have met each other. He has three of the most beautiful children! his daughter is going to be a very major babe when she hits puberty! Our kids play together at least once a week, usually on weekends.

Man oh man... I have fallen for his kids too. They are great, a little undisciplined but still very charming and devilishly smart.

He recently moved into a new place. I helped him move. I helped him unpack. I have been helping him decorate. I have my own key to his place and the neighbors recognize my car. He's met most of my family, and I've met his ex wife.

Most of the time when I'm spending the night, its on the weekend.. (if you can add a previous paragraph to this sentence you get a very interesting sum) Yes my son and I spend weekends with him and his kids. We over night with the kids... it was a little awkward in the beginning.. oh who am I kidding its still a little awkward, but everyone is getting used to it.

Now I must reiterate that we are not exclusive, we are not "serious", we are probably never going to be labeled as "boyfriend and girlfriend". But I'm not sure what you would call us... "Friends" well yes we are, "Lovers" oh definitely... somehow I don't think any traditional labels will ever fit us.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, September 11, 2009

How the hell did I end up here?

Sooooo it seems like I haven't made a real post in a while... I guess I should catch you all up real quick...

Went on lots of dates
Met lots of D-bags
Did a lot of things
Dealt with lots of drama

Now in all my dating I came across a guy that I call DeveloperD. He's smart, funny, single... and AMAZING in the sack. Mind blowing really.... He's been spectacular. There is just one problem. A few weeks ago I found myself starting to fall for him... from the very beginning he's been honest about not wanting to get into anything serious. I thought I was ok with that... until I found myself falling for him....

Originally the plan was to back off and just be friends. No more physical intimacy. That would haven been ok. I could have done that easily if not for one thing. He is the most amazing lover. HOLY SHIT just thinking about what he does to me makes me weak in the knees.

Now being the very weak (extremely horny) person I am I gave in to my carnal desires and have gone back to sleeping with him. OMG its amazing.

Now I find myself in a place I never thought I would be. I am dating and sleeping with a guy that I know will never be permanent. I happen to know that he is seeing two other women. It just happens that I am personally acquainted with one of them. I laid down some very specific rules for him. The number one being that I would NEVER be the "sloppy second". He has been very good at that one.

Now I figured that since he was honest with me, he would be honest with the other two as well. I am very careful when I spend the night to remove every trace of me. Except for the left overs (I cook when I stay over) you would never know that I was there. Now I was hoping for the same courtesy from the other two.... somehow I think that they aren't as courteous as I am.

The other day as I was preparing to take a shower at DeveloperD's I was laying my stuff out on the bed. There was some recently washed clothes sitting on the bed... among them... a pair of womens panties. sigh.... can you believe that?? One of those stupid bitches left her panties. this is just one of the reasons I don't wear panties. now I am just as pissed that Mr. DeveloperD left them out for me to see. I do take comfort that they are not very sexy, oh they tried but failed miserably. At least when I wear panties they are SEXY... I do mean sexy...

Now I'm wondering if I should talk to the woman I know... tell her its not cool. that if we are all going to be doing this we need to be courteous to one another. Or maybe I should just fight fire with fire... or maybe... just maybe I should let it go. After all I did know what I was getting into when I decided to continue seeing him....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Lonely is wishing for something you can't have but still having enough hope to wish for it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

DId I say once a week?

LMAO... how strange life is

I started this blog with the inent of keeping a record of my dating life... sadly I haven't been doing to well lately.

With neither my dating life nor my blog... LOL

it seems that I have been cursed. At first I thought it was just after three dates... then it happened after two dates... and now it has happened after the first date...

There is something about me that makes guys stop calling. When this started happening I thought it was just the guys.. now I'm not so sure... now I think it might be me....

It can't be that I look different from my pics online. I'm pretty good about posting a new pic every month or so. It can't be the text I'm using. I have had a plethora of gurus and friends (both male and female) help me to create an authentic description of myself. I don't lie about my body type, I don't lie about what I am looking for. I'm fairly open and honest with a guy (I don't divulge all the skeletons hiding in my closet on the first date). Hell I even put out after the third date (sometimes on the third date). I have even given in to the pressure to give out my phone number early on... I return every call, text message and email I get. I initiate conversations and I don't contact them everyday (trying too keep away from the creepy chick image).

So what could I possibly be doing wrong?

I keep hearing this bit of sage advice (or some variance of it): "When you stop looking you'll find what you want". Often I would respond to this with "If I'm not out looking for it how in the hell am I supposed to find it?" Well here goes... I am no longer going to actively seek.

I am keeping up all my profiles, but I will no longer go on and search out guys. The only one that I will remain "active" on is Match.com... in order for me to cash in on that free 6 months I have to be active for 6 months.

now in the mean time a couple of friends of mine who are also in the dating circle have been inspired to also keep a record of their experiences... you can check them out here: Curvacious Bounty

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, June 1, 2009

long time no post!

Hello all... sorry its been so very long since my last blog!. Life has been a little strange for me. Shortly after I got laid off (the last time) I had to make choices about what bills to keep and what bills to get rid of... internet went first... I've been trying to keep up from my phone and my mom's computer but well... Le Sigh

I am going to attempt to blog once a week, but don't hold me to that! LOL

So now for the update:
I blogged previously about BigPoppa, well he turned out to be a real piece of work. Seemed like he wanted to jump from a third date to a marriage proposal... Yowsa! When I told him (for the 5th time) that I wanted to take things slow, he got a little pissy and I havn't heard from him since... ah well his loss

Currently I'm not really dating anyone. Being unemployed puts a bit of a damper on that. Being with out a vehicle really puts a damper on things. But shortly my Jeep will be returned to me and none too soon! I'm itiching to go camping!

My Hunky Geodude is at the end of his master's thesis and has started to look for jobs, there is a very real possibility than in a month or so he will be gone... BIG SIGH. We have been hanging out and what not sporadically, just as predicted it has never become anything serious (although I wish it would) SO far he has been the only normal one I have met.

Dating is not like I thought it would be. There seems to be some great differences in how all the books say it should go and how it actually goes. I have no clue what I'm doing wrong.

I have two very good friends who are in the dating field with me. And these girls get some real doozies themselves. Here are the general specs we have come across:

If he's GEORGEOUS there is something mentally wrong with him, he has no job, he's emotionally unavailable.

If he's OK he only wants sex, is a complete weirdo, decides he can find something better (i.e. prettier)

If he looks like a cross between a monkey and a troll he wants to get married very shortly after meeting you, can't catch a hint that your not interested, has some strange thoughts on what constitutes as a date

and all of them, ALL OF THEM, are drama queens. Men are the first one's to say they don't want drama, and they are the first ones to start it.

I'm starting to get a little tired of the dating thing, I've cancelled my subscriptions to singleparentmeet.com, eharmony.com and downtoearth.com. I've got another 3 months left on my match.com account, but in the last three months I haven't met anyone from there. Plentyoffish.com is good for finding guys who are stranger than strange. OKcupid.com is garnering no results either. and can you dig this... Just to see if its just me or if I realy do have shitty luck with dating online i set up an adultfrindfinder.com account... you know the site that's just for finding a F*ck buddy.... and nothing... nada... zip... zero... zilch. Yeah I know.

I didn't think I was that hideous.

I'm signing off for now, till next week my chums!


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Quote of the Week

"A friend is one before whom I may think aloud."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Big Poppa is filler
so this weekends plans were slightly mucked up. I was supposed to go over and spend the night with him on friday, but due to family drama he had to cancel with me. But he picked me up bright and early on saturday for our planned hike.
We went to Zion national park. It was gorgeous. I took a bunch of pics. We had a great time.
On the way back we stopped at the Cracker Barrell for a late lunch. The two hour drive home put me to sleep. But i woke just as we were getting back into town. I asked him why he didn't take the exit that would take us back to his place. And he said because i live on the other side of town. Yup. He took me home. I didn't get any booty this weekend. So Big Poppa is filler till Prince Charming shows up.

Quote of the Week

"Poets are shameless with their experiences: they exploit them."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Friday, May 15, 2009

Blogging from my phone.

So i have not had time to sit down at a real computer and blog. So here i am doing it from my phone via text. This is one of the many reasons i love the blogger platform.

As i am sure you are well aware, i have been dating. My friends have labeled me a power dater. Which means i have been dating many guys multiple times a week. I have been mostly disappointed.

In my last post i talked about a few of them. Now i want to talk about the one who has potential. I've been calling him Big Poppa. (If you aren't following me on twitter yet, you're a dork.) so far things with him have been going great. He's taken me to lunch twice, spent the day at the swap meet, and gone to a party with me. We had plans for this weekend, we'll see. TBC

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Quote of the Week

"Even if IBM manages to make a smarter planet, they won't necessarily make it a happier one."

~ 'Ol Nick Marco

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Finally.. its here

Finally its here a real blog post! WOO HOO!!



SO where do I start...



Lets review real quick... I got laid off. ok do any of you have any clue what its like to get laid off? Well the first thing that happens is that you end up having so much to do that you just can't keep caught up. I mean really? where was all this shit when I was working...



I have so much house work its not funny. and yard work.... OMG I'm going to hire a landscaper...



And now being a full time stay at home mom.... wow... too weird.



And the dating scene has been ridiculous!! Remember GeoDude? well he called me up randomly a couple of weeks ago and invited me over for video games and rinking... of course this led to Naked video games and amazing sex... WOW!! then I was on another date with another guy who happens to be a mechanic (and a guitar player). Were at his shop drinking beer and looking at the great view... I went to drive to get more beer and CLUNK the steering falls off of my jeep... No not the Steering wheel... the actual steering components... SO we walked to get more beer... I was too snookered to go home so I spent the night in the back of my jeep... exciting.



Three weekends ago I went to the Las Vegas Celtic Society's Annual Highland games.... MMMMM men in kilts... lovely time really... while there I found out two things.... I love a man who play the fiddle really well (oh Myron Stewart you are my one tru love) Check out Finnwake.com. The other is that My son's pediatrician can booze it up like any other good Scottsman... Where else but in Vegas can you see your pediatrician dressed up as a Pipe Band Drum Major (because he is one) and then sit down with him at a pub and get shit faced while mooning over the fiddler.



Here is a pic of my Ped all dressed up:
that's pretty fucking cool.

Any hoot.... I've been exploding on twitter... I'm up to 228 followers now... I have found out that one of my favorite Bloggers Travis Erwin is coming to vegas later this year... (that should be an interesting blog post... LOL) I have not been any good at reading blogs... I think my google reader is overloaded... I'm afraid... so if I haven't been commenting that's why... Sorry guys... I'm balanced out a little more now... so I should be getting back on track...

in response to my getting Laid off I have been kicking into gear and looking at getting my own business started... or maybe partnering up with a friend of mine (wink wink you know who you are)

Let's see... really the dating thing hasn't been that bad... I went to dinner with a guy from cali, I finally met someone on Match.com (hopefully we'll meet IRL soon) I've been Chatting it up with a couple of guys from POF. I went on a couple of dates with a guy we're going to call RoadieMan. He promised to get me tickets to the U2 concert in October (OMG Hells Yeah!) The Mechanic is going to be fixing my jeep at a greatly reduced price... I'll be posting about that over on the Jeep Blog. ParamedicDude took me to go see Fast and Furious... I drooled on myself the whole time.

Damevegas and I went with a large group of people to go see Wolverine on opening night at midnight... That movie was filled with so much eye candy it was like watching a porn! WOW... YUMMY...

Ok and I think that's about it... Oh and just for That Girl: I got so CRUNK last weekend I prayed to the porcelain god at the bar... twice... and I still partied harder than anyone else... LMAO

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Quote of the Week

"There's a time to smell the roses and a time to smell the farts -- but at all times make sure know the difference."

~ 'Ol Nick Marco

Monday, April 27, 2009

(Its been crazy!)Sorry its been a minute my fellow bloggers and blog readers. Seems that once you get all your ducks in a row someone comes along and kicks them around. I promise a full recap of the last week is coming soon. Everything from a night with Geodude to the night spent in the back of my jeep. From my love affair with the fiddler to my attraction to the guitar player. its all coming soon. I promise!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Quote of the week

"Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. "

~Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

6 month review

Only I can have a six month review like this:

Six months ago:
I was in love and loved. It was a love to last through the ages..
My son was diagnosed with a learning disorder
I celebrated my first holiday with the man I loved
My hours got cut from 40 to 35 per week

Five months ago:
I turned 29.
I was still in love.
I celebrated the birthday of the man I loved.
I celebrated my second holiday with the man I loved

Four months ago:
The love of my life Broke my heart and told me he didn't love me anymore.
I found out I was pregnant.
Started seeing a therapist
I got an abortion
I got back together with the man I love
I was ignored by the man I loved
My son started in Special Ed

Three months ago:
I quit smoking
I broke up with the man I love
I started working out

Two months ago:
I started dating again (when you fall off a horse...)
I got my tax return back

One month ago:
Bought my New Vehicle
Realized that I was officially over my Ex
Realized that Internet dating sucks

SO far this month:
Got the vehicle registered and insured
Got laid off... yeah that pretty much sums it up

On top of all the other shit I have gone through in the last six months... I got laid off again... Exactly one year ago I was laid off by the same company...

SO my plans have changed a little.. I'm going to collect unemployment for a little while and focus on my son... He needs me right now. And I will be here for him.

The Internet dating thing has pretty much dried up... I haven't gotten a serious inquiry since before MasterT... sigh... the plan to visit various locations around the city to meet people in real life has to be put on hold... the Economy is keeping me from meeting people... that sucks

I went to the Las Vegas Highland Games this last weekend... I have pictures and a story of Love coming soon... also keep an eye on my poetry blog... I was inspired this weekend...
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Quote of the week

"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. "

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Deep Thoughts

This morning I had a deep thought that would have made for an excellent post... something meaningful and enlightening... but then I forgot it. I got caught up in this endless cycle we call life and I forgot what my deep thought was.

So instead, I am going to be posting about my plans for life in this new economic struggle that I will coming up against in a few short weeks.

Here is how I am predicting an average day will go:
6:30am - wake up and get dressed, get kid dressed
7:00am - Breakfast with the kid
7:30am - dishes from previous day and Breakfast
8:00am - see the kid off to school on his bus
8:01am - breathe and prepare
8:02am to 9:15am - Cardio Exercise/Walking
9:15am to 9:30am - Stretching
9:30am to 10:30am - Shower, shave
10:30am to 11:30am - relax/nap/meditate
11:45am - kid gets home from school
12:00pm - kid goes to my mom's
12:15pm - on my way to work
1:00pm to 5:00pm - work
5:01pm - do a little dance and get the heck out of there
5:45pm - pick kid up from mom's
6:30pm - dinner is served
7:00pm - Homework with the kid
7:30pm to 8:30pm - down time, kid gets to play with toys, I get to change into jammies (oh and kid does too)
8:30pm - Bed time!!!

I will make time to walk the dog, feed the cats and read somewhere in this day... also evening routines will vary depending on poetry readings and such...

I might slow my roll on the whole dating thing... I'm not really going to have the funds to do it. Just before I found out that I was getting my hours cut I had paid to sign up for another site... so I'll just let it run its course. I don't think I am going to actively search anymore... if I get an email awesome... if I don't... well that's life, or more appropriately that's MY life...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The trials of life

SO this is how life goes for me...

Lately everything has been going fairly well.. there have been some serious fails when it comes to my dating/love life, but everything else has been going good... I have been getting back on my feet financially, my walking every day has been paying off. I've been doing borderline fantastic! Then comes the axe...

as so often happens with me... just as everything is starting to look up something happens to remind me that I'm just bug on the sidewalk of life...

My hours have been cut again... The original cut was from 40 to 35 hours... now I'm down to 20 hours... there are some very good reasons why, and it is only going to be temporary (6 months tops). but it does have a rather devastating effect on my finances...

Number one being that even if I only pay for part time day care... working only 20 hours a week I won't make enough to cover the cost of day care.

Being the resourceful person I am... I have already got it figured out... I'll work my 4 hours a day in the afternoons... Which means I'll be taking my son to and picking him up from school everyday, then after he gets out of school I'll take him to my mom's where either she or her BF will watch him...

Now knowing my mom's track record.. this will work for about 3 days before she forgets her promise to me and decides to run off for a week... I really hope my boss won't mind if I have to bring the kid in sometimes... sigh...

Before the hour cut according to the state of Nevada, before taxes are taken out of my check I make enough money to be ranked at "Below Poverty"... I don't think they can even classify me anymore... and you wanna know the crazy thing... I barely qualify for assistance... and you wanna know the crazier thing I'm on waiting lists for everything... but I just found out that an illegal family got all the assistance I applied for... AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT ON A FUCKING LIST!!!!!

So now I am paying for them to use a service that I need and can't use myself... how fucked up is that...

I am a proud American, but sometimes I hate my country...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Quote of the week

"Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. "

~Groucho Marx

Friday, April 10, 2009

Love is a Bitch!

Its strange how the heart works... and love is a bitch...

I've been talking to a guy I met on eharmony. I'm going to call him MagicMan (please don't ever ask me how I come up with these damn names). We have been talking for over a week now on the phone... the only reason we haven't met yet is that He lives in St. George UT. which is like an hour and a half drive away and I would need a babysitter to watch my son while I'm gone... And I am not about to drive out there unless I'm going to spend the night and come back. SO we had made plans for me to come out this weekend, but my babysitter is sick and my mom is working... so plans have flown the coup... for a weekend trip. I might be able to make a day trip up there.. and If I can work it out I will...

We have this great spiritual connection. We share the same religious beliefs and its been refreshing to talk to someone about them. But here is my conundrum.. I don't really think I'll ever have romantic feelings for him... maybe some lustful ones... but not romantic. I keep getting the nudge from a higher power that this might turn into a mentor/student thing... which is very cool with me... I love teaching

now here is where the heart gets tricky and love is a bitch,

I got an email from Bachelor #1 yesterday... Mr. Love-at-first-sight. He wanted to know when and where I read my poetry... I emailed him back and gave him directions, an address, time and the admonision to call me if he gets lost.

Why?

Why?

because when I saw his email address in my inbox, ny heart did a sommersault. My eyes teared up. My soul grew lighter. We haven't really talked since that fateful day... except that one time I texted every dude in my phone...

Love at first sight.... so strange; that it's real and that it happened to me. Can I send up a little prayer that he can see past what is essentially a non-issue?

My religion is private. I tell the guys if they ask, but I don't talk about it. Because I am taught (and I teach) that religion is a private matter. Its between you and your god (or gods). After talking to my religious leader about the issue a few weeks ago, she told me a story about her late husband.

He was a devout Baptist.. and of course she was not. But they met and they married and they were in love. She had a deal with him... She would go to chruch with him every sunday if he would tolerate her faith in something else... and because they loved each other, it worked.

I could do that. I would do that. For love I will do anything. For true love that is.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

WARNING VERY STONG LANGUAGE!

Oh yeah there will be some very strong language in this post...

First lets start with the update on the whole Red* situation... since Tuesday he has refused to say more than a single word a day to me. Before the Drunk Texting incident We shared in a light hearted banter everyday... I'm kind of starting to miss it...

So that's what it is.. he knows it was me (so says my boss who reads my blog and talks to him), and he's pissed, or freaked, or just plain cranky... either way.. now I miss our daily diatribes and I've probably fucked up beyond repair with even trying to make friends with him...

This children is why we should leave our cell phones at home when we go drinking...

Now... onto to the latest bit about my fucked up dating experiences...

I met a guy on Tuesday night. He messaged me on one of the sites I am on and I invited him to the after-poetry drinking party. He was not nearly as cute as his pics online, and immediately I as put off by the fact that he seemed offended that my friends were there... Um duh what smart chick doesn't go to a very public place (with friends) to meet some strange dude off the Internet.

Any way... as per my usually course I got a little buzzed and put on my beer goggles. He and I ended up in a quiet dark little corner making out...

The night ended on a very good note (wink, wink)

Anyhoot... my plan for last night (Wednesday) was to go home, un plug, do laundry and just veg out, but somehow (stupid text messages) It ended up being a night where this new guy, we'll call him MasterT, ended up coming over to "hang out" and "have dinner".... which directly translates to a booty call... yup I got me some last night... and it wasn't that great... not nearly what I expected after that little pre game show from the night before.

Now let me explain... I am a normal woman, with normal urges and desires that MUST BE MET or I will go nuts. And some times my good old B.O.B. just doesn't cut it. Battery Operated Boyfriend (there now your up to speed). Now I was a little disappointed in everything so far... but things were starting to look up... we found a groove that worked for me... until I heard this:
"That's right Who's Master's dirty little slut"

Um excuse me... were you just talking to me?

Hmm so I "finished" rather quickly after that. He got his. And then As I am getting dressed and cleaned up I hear:

"Um hey do you mind if I take a shower, or a bath?"
"No go right ahead"

cricket

"What do you need me to draw your bathwater?"
"Yeah Master would like that"
::roll eyes::
"whatever"

so I run a super hot fucking bath and I can hear him getting in going
"shh ahh ohh hot"

yeah I hope those balls boil in that water...

So he gets dressed and leaves (did I mention that he brought his damn dog with him?)

NEVER again will that guy hear the sound of my voice, or see the image of my text.

now don't get me wrong I don't mind a little dirty talk... I don't even mind a few submission games... but that shit was taking it too far...

OH I heard that conservative from the back... "WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON YOU SLUTTY LITTLE HUSSY?" Well as it turns out this week is spring break and my mom (who sometimes is the greatest mom on earth) took my son for the next few days... they are off gallivanting around north western Arizona... so there... its not like I'm bringing strange dudes to my house... LOL as a matter of fact I'm house sitting at my mom's so there... Never been to my house and never met me son...

gawd... I'm so tire of this game we call dating... I'm trying out a new venue that my therapist turned me on to... if it works out I'll tell you about it... if it doesn't well I'll still tell you about it.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Drunk Texting and Work don't mix

OMG I can't believe I'm going to post this... why? Because my boss reads this...

WHY oh WHY did I ever give him the address.... Let's just hope this ends well for all parties involved.... OMG OMG OMG

ok so on Friday night EZ and I went out and got our groove on at our favorite watering Whole... we were joined by.. No one that I can remember.... at least not until much later in the evening, but that's jumping ahead...

We got our drink on... or more appropriately I got my drink on... I was without kid for the weekend so I mixed it up!! Needless to say I got shit-faced.. not falling down drunk, but foolish ass texting drunk...

Thankfully I didn't ex-text... that would have been very very very very bad... instead... I stalker texted... oh yeah thats right... STALKER!!! I am a psycho.

So in case you haven't been keeping up there is this asshole at work that I can't stand. Or at least that's the game I play, in reality I have the biggest crush on him ever... yowza sexy. And I have this very sneaky suspicion that he isn't nearly the asshole he pretends to be at work.

SOOOOO... on with the show... That day I took him and LDogg out for lunch... and we actually had a good time. I was impressed that he kept the asshole tendencies to a very bare minimum. skip ahead a few hours to about midnight. EZ and I have been knocking them back since about 8. I'm completely on a pity party because I bought a drink for a guy at the bar and he hadn't come over to even thank me (fucker)... so I start texting my girlfriend from work, henceforth known as Gurlie*.

She has as many if not more man troubles than I do... Yeah its that bad. We even go to the same therapist... anyhoot. I tell her I want to invite Red* out to drink with me so I want his number to text him... so after some seriously lame attempts to talk me out of it (BTW she is completely shitters herself) she gives me his number... And I start texting him...

I'm being playful and coy and he's trying to figure out who I am... after telling him my name and the fact that he owes me lunch he still doesn't get who it is... so I say "the fact that I think your the sexiest red head alive doesn't bring it all together for ya?" and he says..."what? I have brown hair"...

WTF OMG YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING SHITTING ME!!! Gurlie* gave me the wrong number and I have been texting the WRONG RED*... omg... I had already promised him that I would buy him a drink if he came down and he was already on his way, so I told him to just keep on coming...

I called Gurlie* and ripped her ass up... now I'm meeting some strange random dude who shares a name with Red* and just happens to be in her phone address book.... She apologizes and calls the guy to tell him its her fault (I made her do it).

I've got my fingers crossed hoping against hope that this guy is at least human... turns out he a major hottie who just happens to be in the Air Force... any hoot he and I hit it off and end up making out before he leaves... I sober up and look at my phone and realize that Gurlie* sent me the Real Red's number and I had texted him too... at 2 am... OMG work is going to suck on monday...

Skip ahead to Saturday Morning... my new phone starts tweeting at me I look and it's the Real Red responding to my text... at this point what can I lose? so I respond. after a few attempts at guessing who I am he gets a little pissed, so I tell him, but I'm still not sure if he gets who it was...

Monday Morning... My son had spent all weekend with my sister (she owes me babysitting time still) and he had been battling a fever on and off... monday morning he wakes up with a ragin fever. I call in sick from work... so I was saved... but today... Tuesday He wakes up chipper as the day is long... little bastard can't be sick for the whole week? damn it

so here I am sitting in my office looking out my window out of the corner of my eye trying to gauge if he really knows who it was... I don't know for sure... he stopped responding to my text messages... so we shall see...

oh and LDogg.. this is another of those "if you repeat this to anyone I will kill you, hide the body and make sure the last rites are never said for you... your name will be removed from history!!" things

ok. ok. ok. I think I can make it... if I throw up in my trash can please just ignore me and move on... Can you believe that I'm supposed to be an adult? yeah me neither...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

meme Name Game

I stole this from Travis Erwin's blog.. he stole it from someone else... I think its great and a good space filler so I don't have to think about my Drunk text messaging fiasco... gawd

1. Your rock star name (first pet/current vehicle) - Scruffy Jeep
2. Your Gangsta name (favourite ice cream flavour/fave type of shoe) - Vanilla Boot
3. Your Native American name (fave colour/favourite animal) - Blue Wolf
4. Your soap opera name (middle name/city of birth) - Sue Des Moines
5. Your Star Wars name (first 3 letters of last name/first 2 letters of first name) MccMe
6. Your Superhero name (second fave colour/fave drink) - Green Whiskey
7. Your NASCAR name (first names of your grandfathers) - Al Lee
8. Your dancer name (favourite scent/fave candy) - Vanilla Skittles
9. TV Weather Anchor name (5th grade teacher/city that starts with the same letter) - Birch Boston
10. Your spy name (fave season/flower) - Winter Daffodil
11. Your cartoon name (favourite fruit/article of clothing you are wearing) - Mango Jeans
12. Your hippie name (what you had for breakfast/favourite tree) - Milk Oak
13. Your porn star name (first pet/first address) - Scruffy Penman

Don't worry... I'm working on the whole story about this weekend's Drunk Texting... but I have to work up the guts to tell it.... sheesh I'm such an idiot...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Quote of the week

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. "

~Albert Einstein

Friday, April 3, 2009

Qpidonair.com

Ok so Remeber when I posted that ad on craigslist? Well here is one of the responses I got....

"Hi, I just started a radio dating show here in Las Vegas. I would be interested in talking to you about featuring you on my show. My website is www.QpidOnAir.com Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,
Mark Steven Blum
Owner/ On-Air Host Qpid ON AIR
(702) 555-1212 Cell
www.QpidOnAir.com"

At first I was just going to ignore it because I though it was a hoax, or just some creepy guy... but I checked out the website (if you haven't already you should) and I decided to email the guy back... well after countless emails and phone calls I was convinced to go on the show as a spotlight. So I did it... My debut was last night... it was pretty cool.... I had way more fun than I thought I would...

So now I'm pimping it.... Because I love the idea of the show, and I think Mark is a cutie :) smooches to Mark for making the experience so much fun and for demanding that I come to all the Qpid parties from now on... :)

If you don't live here in Vegas, that's cool! You can listen live online from the website... at the very least its bound to be entertaining.

As soon as I have my copy of the show I'll be posting it here for all to listen to...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Let's just be friends

Now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place!

In one hand I hold ParamedicDude, He and I have been out on three dates and I am just not feeling it.. I need to find away to tell him that I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with him, without handing down the old "let's be friends" line, because #1 I hate that line (and you'll see why in just a minute) and #2 because I hat that line. How do you gently tell a guy that your not feeling any physical attraction to him without sounding like a bitch?

ParamedicDude is such a very cool guy, and I seriously wish there was an attraction there, becuase I know he would treat me like the princess I want to be, but well.... damn it I just can't see my self gettin naked and sweaty with him.

In the other hand... I have... well I have nothing
I was starting to kind of get my hopes up with DaMan, but I got an email that said... Let's just be friends, I'm not ready for a relationship... blah blah blah.... How is it possible that even if a guy tells me he's looking for a LTR that he's not ready for a relationship? its the same old story... and I don't want to be like that with the guys I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with.

I don't want to be "like the rest of them". But on the same hand I don't want to waste someone's time (and money). How is it possible that I am standing on both sides of the fence right now? Why can't just one of these fucking dudes have a little bit of everything I'm looking for right down to a little bit of "spark"...

I can work with a little bit....

But I can't work with a negative balance of spark...

let's make a list of the guys wand what's wrong with them:
Jay: hasn't talked to me since february
Johhny: Is a complete sleezoid
Mr Dark: just quit talking to me for no apparent reason
DaMan: has decided he just wants to be friends
ParamedicDude: just doesn't do it for me
Various Bachelors: stopped talking to me or didn't do it for me
Bahcelor #1: Love at first sight, Religion gets in the way
GeoDude: Would be perfect, but he well... he doesn't want to be

so there... now tell me what's wrong with that picutre?

Oh and can I add this... these are my stats from e-harmony:
Total Matches: 123
Total Closed: 83
Total Closed by guys: 63
Total Closed by me: 20 (because they haven't returned any contact since the first of March)
Total guys who have actually contacted me: 2
one of them is ParamedicDude, and the other is a guy from St. George UT...

what a waste of fucking money

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Ecost.com sucks ass

So I am officially posting a real customer review. And its not pretty!!

I have been searching for a computer to purchase... a laptop to be exact. and I finally found one that has the right specs and the right price... it was at Ecost.com

I purchased it... or so I had thought. I put in all my information including my credit card number. I even got a confirmation... then this morning I open my inbox and find a message that my order had been cancelled... WTF!?

So I called the "customer service" number and got transferred from Customer Service to the Credit/billing department.... Come to find out they had problems "verifing" my information. THey were extremely vague as to what info they could not verify. I asked for a supervisor and they guy refused to transfer me! Finally after badgering this dude he tells me that when they plug in my info into whitepages.com they can't find me...

Wait a fucking minute here

You're trying to find me using whitepages.com? are you fucking kidding me? I asked if they contacted my bank to verfiy my info.....

"no we do not verify your info using your bank"

OMFG!!!

And this shit head tells me that unless they can verify me on whitepages.com they can not process my order unless I give them a new credit card number... oh yeah sure like that is going to happen....

So I tell him to delete all my info from their computer and that I am contacting the BBB.... Oh and boy ever did I contact them... and now I am Posting it on my blog and twittering it... I hope their company goes out of business and they have to fire all their employees.... there is a reason you can't find me on the internet... its called Identity Protection you ass monkeys....

so again

ECOST.COM SUCKS BIG HAIRY ASS!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Stir the shit and get a jewish kiss

Don't get your knickers in a twist.. let me tell the story before you go thinking I'm some sort of anti-semetic asshole... jeez

Last night was of course poetry night... except I didn't feel much like going to poetry so EZ, Timshol, another friend and I went to this awesome little joint call The Mix Zone Cafe. Its a Thai place tucked away a few doors down from my favorite used book store... The food is great! if you're ever in my neck of the woods and your getting tired of the glitz and glamour of the strip, give me a jingle and I'll show you the Local side of Vegas.... including The Mix Zone

I had to take DJ, Because Baby Daddy seems to have forgotten that no matter what I do the rest of the week on mondays and tuesdays he needs to be home before 6:30.... hmpf any hoot

After the Mix Zone I took the little guy home and met up with everyone over at CD's... In case you haven't been following regularly that's me and EZ's watering hole... when we walk in the bartender has our drinks ready...

ok back to the Bar... It, once again, turned into a U.N. conference with one more Eastern European country in attendence... Go Serbia!! LOL The crowd was bigger and I decided to stir some shit... because that's what I do... I invited: GeoDude, ParamedicDude, Bachelor #1, and DaMan... they all bowed out.... all of them... bastards...

But it was on with the show once Bob* and the rest of the U.N. showed up! We laughed so hard we were snorting... the Serbian showed us how to play serbian pool (no holds barred if you ain't cheatin you aint trying, get away with it as long as you can).... There is a new champion dart team called DNA (defeated by the code of life!) this team is made up of the Yugoslavian and the Israeli... and they can kick some serious ass on the dart board...

EZ and I really cut loose and the both of us got about 3 or 4 sheets to the wind.... some how through all my flirting and coy behavior (psssh ya whateva) I ended up sitting in the Israeli's lap and we ended up smooching... (PS this is where the jewish kiss comes from you dirty bastards) and MY GOODNESS that boy has one fine mouth.... mmmmmm I am sooooo smooching those lips again... tee hee

Who would have thunk it... a few short months ago I would never have imagined myself enjoying the field, much less playing it... now look at me!!

Ok do ya'll remember Blue? No? well he came too and regaled us with his tales of immoral actions, and gave me an awesome foot massage... I had been playing (excuse me) kicking ass at pool, playing darts, flirting my cute little ass off and being a playa all night, in 3 inch heels... the foot massage was like a gift from GOD...

There were tons of memorable quotes, but I didn't wriite any of them down because I was laughing to hard... there was something about an afro and "manscape that shit bitch!", and too many references to the old man in the prison from Disney's Aladdin... tee hee

all in all it was a great night... all topped off with a good night smooch from the Israeli Love Doctor..

and I'm having a contest.... I need Blog Names for The Yugoslavian and the Israeli... the best names will get a post all about them and some serious twitter pimping from me...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Go JD!!

Ok so if you don't know who he is you should... its PKMtrainerJ (thats Pokemon Trainer J for those of you who don't habla) He's a good blogger and a twitter buddy of mine... best part... HE'S from england!! how cool is that!? Follow him on Twitter and Check out his blog...

so here is why I am blogging about him... sent out a twiter asking what he should draw.. I said Draw what you are drinking right now... and this is what I got:


That's right folks its a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Dr. Pepper... see even in England the old JD is loved....


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Another good blog

I have been working on creating a third blog... yeas a third one.... get over it...

any hoot

while searching for a desert camo 3 column blogger template (if you find one let me know)

I came across this great blog Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. it is great!! I love a woman who can drop the F-bomb withno qualms!

Monster Trucks Rock!

Ahem... thank you for tuning back in to the show.

Now where was I? Oh yes... MONSTER TRUCKS F*CKING ROCK!!! holy moley... I haven't been to a rally in a very long time (almost twenty years). I had forgotten how much freaking fun they are! My son and I were completely jazzed... I have so many pictures of him with monster trucks... I even have a picture of him inside a tire... Sorry WHEEL!! A wheel on a monster truck that was actually in the rally!!! freaking awesome!!!

The evening started at DaMan's house at about 12:30 where we had a BBQ and the boys played in the dirt. We carpooled from there to the show...

We got to the show early and walked around in the "pit party" which is where all the trucks are lined up for display. people can take pictures with them and get signatures from the drivers. DaMan and his son were into getting signatures, DJ and I were into ogling the trucks and the classic cars that were there... and getting pumped by the Trick Motorcycles that did a little mini show.... man it was waaaay too much fun.

The show finally started and we all sat down, DaMan's brother was with us and at first when we sat down. DaMan was behind me with the kids and his brother... but his borther insisted on switching seats with me so I could sit next to DaMan. hehehe I was totally stoked. I was completely expecting to cuddle a little, nothing major just an arm around my shoulders... you know... But nope :( although I can say I didn't miss it that much because I was completely absorbed by the show....

DJ fell asleep before the show was over, but I expected that. I was completely prepared for caryring him back to the car but after spending most of the day carrying him on my shoulders and my purse (its a mom purse) My back was beat to hell... I got to the bottom of the grand stand and around the corner and I couldn't go any further... I just couldn't... DaMan stopped with me and asked if he could carry DJ for me... how sweet... So he carried the little guy back to the truck... it was close to midnight by the time we got back to his house... I was fast asleep when we arrived.

I was half hoping he would ask me to spend the night, not for sex but because I was just soooo tired I didn't really want to drive home, and by the end of the evening DaMan had softened my resolve and really I just wanted to cuddle up with him under a fluffy blanket and snooze the night away curled up next to him...

but that will have to wait...

This week is already looking good for dates... ParamedicDude is taking me out for sushi on wednesday.

So far that's it... I'm hoping to hang out with GeoDude again... we had waaay too much fun last time. and I want to hit that third date with DaMan... Maybe sneak a kiss out of him... hehehe

Friday turned into Me and EZ and Jen sitting around playing cards. all the guys wussed out and so we played Hearts and Rummy till Jen kicked us out... we laughed and I got a whole new wardrobe.. Thanks Jen!!!
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Quote of the week

I am introducing a new weekly feature... every sunday I will post a quote for the week.. I hope you find them as enjoyable as I do..

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and would explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

~Robert X Cringely

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Relationship Resolutions

Ok... I would just like you all to know that I have printed these resolutions and carry them around with me everywhere now..

You see I don't want to rush into anything and make a big mistake. AGAIN. I'm tired of getting played like a finely tuned instrument. I'm tired of getting my hopes up. I'm tired of looking like an ass when a relationship ends. So from this day forward these are my rules, resolutions and regulations:

  1. I will wait to have sex. At least a month of weekly dating before there is any hanky panky.
  2. I will not get serious with a guy until I have met his family and his friends, and it has been at least 4 months.
  3. I will not allow my son to get too attached to any man until I am married to him.
  4. I will not let myself get attached to his family and/or friends
  5. I will not let my friends get attached to him
  6. I will not tolerate indecisiveness
  7. I will not tolerate non-communication
  8. I will not be treated like a second class citizen, if they want to get serious with me they have to prove it.
  9. I will not settle for anything less than what I want
  10. I will be fair and compromising
  11. I will extend the courtesy of being communicative
  12. I will never lie
  13. I will never make a promise I can't keep
  14. I will never pressure anyone into anything

Ok.. now rules for him:

Don't ever lie to me, it makes me crazy
Don't ever expect me to be completely sane at all times
Don't make promises to my son that you can't keep
Don't make promises to me that you can't keep
Don't ever take me for advantage
Do be prepared to have dinner made for you every night
Do be ready to be showered with affection
Do keep your eyes open and pay attention
Do be ready for me to pay attention to the details

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

WAIT please let me catch my breath.... gasp

Aallllllrighty then.

So... this is going to be a week in review...

Let's start with Monday... Started talking to DaMan* (dude formerly known as Bachelor #4) on the phone... now we talk every day for like an hour or two a day... ok mostly I babble and he listens, but the cool part is that the first thing he always asks... "How was your day". you see not even Bruce* did that shit.... ass hole (sorry I'll try to keep the bitter ex-girlfriend shit to a minimum). We are really hitting it off on the phone convos. Well he went ahead and bought me and DJ tickets to MonsterJam... so no matter what the boy and I get to drooooooool all over the big turcks... mmmm YEEEHAAAW (oops sorry I let the redneck out there for a second)

There is another guy that I haven't been talking about... we have already been on 2 dates, but I'm just not feeling it... He's a nice enough guy and he's okay looking, but somehow I'm just not feeling "it" I hate being this fickle... why can't I just get that damnable spark from one of these guys... anyhoot He shall hence foth be known as ParamedicDude... because he's a paramedic... duh...

ok now that's out of the way... I haven't heard any thing from Bachelor #5 so he's gone the way of the Dodo.. I don't have time to sit around waiting for your sorry asses... guys if you want to date this you need to pursue it...

ok back to the week:

Monday: got word that we're going to redneck heaven no matter what... Texted ParamedicDude all day, Talked to DaMan for like 2 hours....

Tuesday: Texted ParamedicDude all day, Talked to DaMan for like 2 hours.... (consistant) Did poetry and met up with some buddies at our fave watering hole, CD's Lounge. These guys are HIGH-LARIOUS... the mix went like this... One Yugosolvian, One Croatian, and One Israelli (its like our very own U.N. here).... Add some Bob* and a little EZ and stir... HOLY SHIT dude these guys are fucking funny... here are some memorable quotes:

"I don't care what people call me as long as they don't beat me up" ~ the Yugoslavian when asked why he somtimes makes up names for people to call him

"When you have sex with your girl when she is on her period you can go all the way" ~ the Croatian explaining why he'll do it with a girl when she is on the rag
"Yeah you can dig that ditch"~ the Israelli in response to the Croatian

I was laughing so hard all night that I was snorting... whew... My sides still hurt

and I am totally crushing on the Israelli... CUTIE!! mmmmm

Wednesday: Texted ParamedicDude all day, Talked to DaMan for like 2 hours.... (still consistant) Work sucked, and I had a HUGE blow out with my Religious and Spiritual leader... It completely bummed me out... I already had a date planned with ParamedicDude but I wasn't sure what kind of company I would be... so I called him and told him it was his choice... I warned him that I would be sullen and probably drink rather heavily... and cuss alot... He said it was cool he still wanted to see me... Let me tell you this... He is a very sweet guy and the girl who bags him is going to be one very lucky woman... But he can't play pool worth a shit... and he planted a smooch on me that was neither asked for nor returned... ugh... I hate it when guys think they can just swoop in and steal my kisses... WAIT FOR ME TO MAKE THE MOVE... dumb ass... I was a little ticked about that but then we were both kinda drunk (or Crunkalishous as That Girl would put it) so I'm not tooo stressed out about it...

Thursday: Texted ParamedicDude all day.... Went on first official date with DaMan... (consistancy traded for face to face). DaMan has been sick all week and it was starting to get worse that morning... I said "We can always wait till saturday..." and he says: "I don't care if I'm on a gurney I'll ask the paramedics to swing by, I'm not missing this for the world" hehehehehe too sweet

I try to be early to everything... At least 15 mins, but its a lost art on people from my generation. Which is why most of my friends and the guys I date are older than me. Well imagine my surprise when I get there and I see his truck already parked... "How do you know what his truck looks like?" Because he sent me a pic of it... Why? because I'm a motor-head and he knew I would like it.... *sigh* can we move on please?

ok back to the date... Well we started out at ReJAVAnate, because I like it there and everyone knows me there so its fairly safe. But we ended up having dinner next door at Ichabods Lounge, where they had a 3 piece jazz ensamble playing and the food is always good... He bought dinner and we talked alllll night long. ok well we talked till about 9.

The big question... Is there a spark?

The big answer... Yes

HOT DAMN I FOUND THE ALL-SPARK (oops I just geeked it up in here a little bit)

ok its not like it was with Bachelor #1 (shit if I wasn't a good girl I would have gone home with him that night)... but there is something there.... So I am going to definitely pursue it... we'll see where it goes... Keep an eye out tomorrow (yes a saturday post) for some relationship resoltuions I am making...

Friday: POKER NIGHT!!!! Its going to be my very own U.N. conference. The guys from tuesday have been invited... everybody's favorite Frenchman might be coming, if he and the wife can stop puking long enough to ante up. Bob* is ditching his out-of-state booty call to come, and I have invited GeoDude... mmmm yummmy.... I hope all goes well, I would hate for it to turn into me and EZ just sitting around playing Scrabble... Although that would be fun too....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

so much to say and so little time

I've got a big blog in the works for friday... I have been so busy at work that I just can't get to bloggin.... But I will leave you with this great little number that My mom sent me.... yes my mom sent me this

video
Be safe

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Bachelor #2 please take a bow

I like to go back and re-read my posts... because I'm narcissitic.

Anyway I got the part in yesterday's post where I talked about my date with Bachelor #2 (who still needs a blog name) And I find that I failed to truly express how great the date was... Since we had been talking over the internet via email and Google Chat (if you don't have it, get it) for more than a week, it was rather easy for us to have a real face to face conversation. Plus it helped that we had a conversation starter...

I have to pick 5 questions to be asked on this radio program I am going to be on (more on that in a later post) and I couldn't narrow the list down to 5... sheesh. Bachelor #2, being the excellently awesome dude that he is, offered to help me. Even though this radio program is designed to get me more dates...

He actually did very well I think... the questions that we have picked out will reveal, quite accurately, the kind of person I am. Now if I could just come up with some witty one minute answers to the questions then everything will be allright...

So Hat's off to Bachelor #2 for putting up with me on our date and for being so kind in understanding why I'm still looking for my Prince in the sea of frogs...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Frogs, Princes, Bachelors and Friends

Be warned this is a long ass post!!

Firday morning I woke up feeling like I got hit with a mack truck.. I was spiking a fever at 102. My throat felt like it had been lined with razor wire and my eyes complained everytime I blinked... so I called in to work... and I went back to bed..

I slept wrapped in a big fuzzy blanket trying to sweat out my fever... and it worked... 5 hours later I woke up feeling ok.. not perfect but ok... I almost considered cancelling my plans with Bachelor #1. However... I figured If I could tough out the rest of the day I would be ok for a dinner date... simple dinner...

We went to dinner at mcayos (he paid) And after we were done we ended up sitting there till 9:00pm (we got there at 6) Then we went to bar and sat and talked till 11:00!! It was awesome! we connected and laughed and kept getting closer and closer till by the end of the evening I was practically sitting in his lap... Of course religion came up and I told him about mine... He's a fairly devout Christian... but that was early in the convo....

By the end of the evening we had made plans to go up to Mt. Charleston on Saturday morning... Well we hugged and he sneaked in a pretty damn good kiss... we got home we text flirted for a few and then went to bed.... I got up saturday and was sorting through my hiking clothes trying to find the cutest outfit and he calls....He sounded tired, I shit you not here is what he said:

"You see last night I met this chick. This really awesome chick! She's beautiful and smart and funny and honest and I could totally see myself falling for her... BUT... I was up all night wrestling with myself about the religion thing... and I just don't see how we can get around the difference in our religion... it wouln't be fair to either of us... I would hate to waste your time"

So we said goodbye

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do. And I know that what I felt for this guy would have eventually turned into the stuff that they write romance novels about. But that damn belief that people of different religions can't be happy together has fucked everything up...

My religion is who I am and I won't give up a part of me for anyone.

Later that Day GeoDude called.. Oh yeah you remember him right? Super HOT Geologist, Hottie McHoterson.... mmmmm. He wanted to hang out that saturday night, I said sure. After all once you take a crushing blow you need something to pick your spirits up...

We were supposed to meet at my Fave bar which is about half way between us, but on his way there he realized he didn't have his wallet... he had left it at his friends house... where he had spent the entire afternoon playing Axis and Allies with his buddies... (yeah he is a SUPER HOT GEEK!!) So he asked me if we could meet closer to his place so his friend could bring him his wallet.

So there we are sitting in the only bar in vegas that CLOSES!! and we are trying to decide where to go... we find this little place called Shotz, where they have a daily $1 shot... awesome!! I'll shorten this story a little bit... we both get completely shit faced and way to trashed to drive anywhere... luckily his place is right around the corner.. so I find myself woozy on his couch... he puts in "The Big Lebowski" hands me a cup with some burbon in it... I remember finishing the burbon... but I do not remember finishing the movie... The next morning we got up and said our goodbyes with promises to hang out again soon... after all he wants to play Oblivion on my PS3... and I want to play Oblivion on my PS3 on his ENORMOUS HDMI TV....

At some time in the coversation we had he stopped me in the middle of what I was say and said:
"Wait... so You have big boobs, you watch sports and you play video games? You're every guys wet dream!" LOL too funny and that did the ego good...

Remember Bachelor #3... well he hasn't been responding to my text messages so I am assuming that its a no go with him...

So lets get to Bachelor #2... he and I have been chatting over Google Chat everyday... and he is super cool... We made plans to go to dinner Sunday night. He picked me up and took me to Roxy's inside the Startosphere... I swear to god this was the best place every!! I had so much fun watching the wait-staff singing and dancing... I seriously suggest that if ever come to vegas that you make it a point to there... freaking COOL!! We had a good time. THe conversation was easy and we laughed.... Now here is where things get hairy... you see being an Uber Techno Geek he found my blog and has read the WHOLE thing... yeah he knows all my dirty little secrets... Which is cool because now I don't have to explain anything to him. But it also means that he is reading this post... right now... scarry....

so conclusions for the weekend: I have made two new friends... GeoDude and Bachelor #2 (Who needs a Blog name now). I lost a frog (good bye Bachelor #3)... and there was a prince that got away (Sweet Sorrows for Bachelor #1)

Now onto to thiss week...

Bachelor #4: Nice guy, has a son, single dad, into to off-roading and Sandrails. We have been chatting over email for more than week now and finally got around to exchanging numbers, we have a dinner date planed this week and if all goes well... he's going to buy me and my son tickets to the Monster Truck rally this weekend... SWEEEEEEET!

Bachelor #5: He and I have been talking online for over two weeks now, but with his daughter being in town, we just never got around to talking on the phone or meeting in person... Finally exchanged numbers and I think he is coming to poetry this tuesday... but I'm not sure..

Oh and did I forget to tell you about the guy from EHarmony? Well our date went ok... actually he is a really cool guy... we have a lot in common, but once again... no spark... We are going out again this week for drinks and possibly sushi.... mmmmm sushi....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.