Friday, September 5, 2008

The Uncontrolable Blue Wave

Thursday night (09-04-08) was "Poetry Night". This guy Blue* called me up and wanted to know if I could pick him up on my way to Poetry and bring him back home. (yeah I know) I said yes (stopping yelling at me). Blue* is a nice guy, if a little on the unpredictable side. Now hold on for a wild ride:

We get to Caesar's Palace and park in the parking garage. Which is always fun when I am driving my dad's truck (my car is on the fritz). My dad's tuck sits about 3-4 inches taller than it normally would because its got big redneck tires on it (yeah rednecks). So, from inside the cab it appears that the top of the truck is coming perilously close to the ceiling struts of the garage. Blue keeps ducking his head. When we finally get to the top (always park on the top) we get a good spot and the elevator doesn't take 6 years to get there. so far so good.

At this point nothing truly outrageous has happened or been said (I am not counting the indecent proposal that happened in the truck because after discussing this with Charlie* he said that there isn't a man alive who could have resisted relieving my "itch" after finding out how long it has been since I was "scratched"). Then a very nice looking (if scantily dressed) young woman enters the elevator. Poor girl. Blue immediately introduces him self and starts asking her where she is from (here) where she is going (work) Where does she work (Ghost Bar) What does she do (dance) Does she want to marry him (nervous chuckle). By the time we get to the third floor (only 2 floors down) this girls is so ready to get away from Blue that she actually begins to step out of the elevator at the 3rd floor . I repeat... Poor Girl. Now not only is she stuck on the elevator with Blue but so is everyone else who is getting nervous just listening to Blue. Now mind you he isn't saying anything lewd or nasty. If it had been Brad Pitt saying these things no one would have minded.

By now I am sure you are asking "weren't you embarrassed?"

Who me?

I am the girl who in high school went with her friends to the mall to play "scare the straights" (not referring to sexual preference). This means we did anything we could short of actually touching someone to make them nervous. One time this guy Fido* actually sniffed this lady's butt. well she was wearing a fur coat...

When we get to the casino floor this poor girl is practically running to get away from Blue and his seeming craziness (so far this is fun!).

Since there is no smoking in dad's truck and no smoking in the elevator, I had a cigarette lit about 3.5 milliseconds after we step out of the elevator. We decided that we are hungry and to get something at the Cypress Street Food Court. Which is conveniently locate next to the elevators (fat girls beware). After much soul searching (and number crunching because Blue is poor and I am footing the bill on this one) I decided we are getting Salads from the Romaine Salad place. Now let me explain the awesomeness of this place:

You start with either a romaine hearts lettuce cluster or a mixed greens cluster. Nice. I go with mixed and Blue gets the Plain Jane hearts. Next you get to pick any thing you want from this bar of stuff and get it added to your salad. oh did I forget to mention that you can get as much as you want? Once you have made your selection of extras they will toss it with your choice of dressing and give it back to you in a nice little take home box. I wondered at this until I hefted my super salad. Ahh I get it no one can eat the whole thing. OK well maybe that Super Fat chick you always see on the Discovery Health show. but then I doubt she's eating any salads.

So here is my salad:
Mixed greens with peppercinis, artichoke hearts, olives, chicken, turkey, and a little bit of each of the cheeses (there's like 8 cheeses, I love cheese). Tossed with a balsamic herb vinaigrette. Nice very yummy and lots of stuff. it took me 2 days to eat the whole thing.

Here is what Blue got:
Romaine heart greens with every thing from the top row, everything from the second row (except olives) and everything from the bottom row tossed with ranch dressing. Yeah and that is not an exaggeration.

OK now that you have caught your breath. Last time I heard he was still munching on this monster.

For him this is perfect. because "every bite is a different experience" as he puts it. We sit down directly across from the salad place. there is no way we can lug these heavy hitters to any other point in the food court, better safe than sorry I say, I already have a bad back. we start on our salads and he explains every bite he is taking, then he bites into the strangely shaped dried fruit.

"mm that's sweet... oh wait *yuerch* that is bitter. What the heck was that?"

He holds up the piece he just bit off and asks the chef who tossed our salads (who has been staring at the spectacle that is Blue):

"Hey man, what is this thing"

the chef picks up a plastic container from the first row and points at it. Then he grins sheepishly and shrugs his shoulders. he turns to the register girl (who has also been staring at Blue) asks her. She has no clue either. AWESOME

Not only does the Chef not know what it is, the girl at the register doesn't know either. Blue talks the chef into trying a piece. I watch this poor unsuspecting guys face and see the exact moment when the flavor changes. Interesting how a persons face can twist when confronted with unexpected bitterness in the mouth. He spits out what ever was in his mouth (don't worry, it he was very sanitary about the whole thing) He then runs to the back and disappears for a few minutes.. he comes out looking a little sweaty and pale and tells us that it is dried, candied ginger.


Well the rest of the night is pretty much along the same lines. Blue randomly hitting up any girl who catches his eye, and doing anything to get a reaction out of people. It is a lot of fun to watch people get uncomfortable and then realize that there is no danger and then for them to seem bereft when Blue's attention is drawn else where. He is a magnet. once anyone gets past to original shock factor they are swpet into his personality and carried away on his Uncontrollable Blue Wave.

So that was my adventure with Blue. He is a nice guy, but not really what I am looking for. So I think it will only remain friends. He is fun to take around uptight people....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

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