In this course, I will teach you
how to release your inner crazy and become the cool laid back person that most
other people want to date. I am going to be as gender neutral as possible
because I have met just as many male Stupid-Ratchet-Crazy-Basic Bitches as I
have female. We will address each issue in
order.
STUPID
I normally dislike the word “stupid”
quite a bit. I think it is more derogatory than the word “cunt”. Trust me, you
would rather have me call you a cunt than call you stupid. This first obstacle is
the easiest to overcome. The next time someone says something that you disagree
with you should not immediately start an argument. Instead find out why that person
believes that way. Lets role play a bit.
Me: I really like Star Trek
You: Star Trek is for nerds!!!
You: Star Trek is for nerds!!!
This is wrong. Instead you should
find out why I like it. Perhaps you have missed something in your interpretation
of my belief.
Me: I really like Star Trek.
You: Really? I could never get into it. Why do you like it so much?
Me: I love the ideals that it sets forth for humanity….. [insert long conversation about the lessons of Gene Roddenberry]
You: Really? I could never get into it. Why do you like it so much?
Me: I love the ideals that it sets forth for humanity….. [insert long conversation about the lessons of Gene Roddenberry]
Now you have gained some insight
in to the personality of the person you are talking to. You can literally apply
this to any topic of conversation. Politics, Religion, TV shows, Gun rights…. Any
of them.
Stupid people would rather wallow
in their ignorance of another person’s point of view. I am not saying that you must
agree, only that you should educate yourself.
RATCHET
Just because this person wants to
have sex with you DOES NOT mean they want to have a relationship with you. Sex
and Emotions are very very very rarely tied together. SEX is the result of a
physical attraction. That physical attraction can lead to an emotional
relationship but not always; and not even often. A lasting relationship is
built on the emotional attraction you have for another person. You should NEVER
enter into a relationship simply because the other person is hot and is a good
fuck. You can find a million hot good fucks anywhere you go, but that one
person who makes your soul sing… that is an entirely different ball game.
NOW hold your horses.. I know
that you can develop a nice physical relationship with a person that is
strictly sex and platonic enjoyment of one another. Those are easy peasy and
are a good way to keep the edge off of your sexual tension while you are on
those 50 first dates trying to find the one frog who turns into a prince(ss).
These are pretty good relationships. I like them. There is no pressure to be
the perfect mate, just an accommodating lay. NOTE: this should be an even 50/50
relationship. You go to their place, they come to yours; you buy dinner one
time, they buy it the next. If one of you is putting out more than the other
this relationship is bound to end bitterly.
It is OK to be in a strictly
physical relationship that has no emotional ties. It is ok to be in an
emotional relationship with no physical ties. In both instances, you must be
open and honest with each other about the kind of relationship you have and
want. If at any point either of you is not satisfied then you need to end the
relationship. Do not try to CHANGE it. If it is meant to evolve, it will. If it
isn’t, it won’t! Nothing you can do will change that. NOTHING.
If you go on a first date with a
person, and then have sex with them, NEITHER of you is obligated to a second
date, or getting married. HOLY HAY-SEUSS it just a date… and its just sex. You
are not even obligated to be exclusive or monogamous! You are obligated to say,
“Thank you, I had a good time”. Even if the sex was bad, be courteous.
Along this same note. If you do
not want a second date or a second sexual interaction then say so. Maybe not
right then, wait a day. Give them a call or a text (the only time a text is
allowable) and say something like “I had a great time, but I just don’t think a
second time is going to happen. Good luck in your search!”. If you get one of
these calls or texts you need to respond like a sane and rational human being…
which leads us to….
CRAZY
No one, NO ONE, wants to deal
with a psycho. And if they do then they are a crazy fuck as well and you should
stay away. If you get the gentle brush off (or even a not gentle one), you are
allowed to be sad/mad/confused. But those emotions are yours and are NOT the
fault of the other person. The other person has been kind enough to let you
know not to put your hopes into them. SAY THANK YOU. That’s it. Say thank you
and move on. You can totes tell your friends what a douche that person was, but
leave them alone. They don’t want anything to do with you and you should
respect that, because one day you are going to be in a reverse situation and you
will want the other person to respect your wishes. Pay it forward people….
BASIC BITCH
Urban Dictionary defines a Basic
Bitch as “Someone who is unflinchingly upholding of the status quo and
stereotypes of their gender without even realizing it.” DO NOT DO THIS. Instead
be you, the weird you that you never show anyone. The you that binge watches
Start Trek and reads Phillip Pullman. The you that sings in the car and dances
when no one is watching. Be that person all the time. If you do that then I can
guarantee that you will attract someone who likes to do all those same things
and you can then do them together. Maybe you will get lucky and they will want
to do naked things with you as well.
In conclusion it is possible to have
a satisfying physical and emotional relationship with another person and be
happy. You just have to be willing to drop the societal norm of being a Stupid-Ratchet-Crazy-Basic
Bitch.
