Happy Anniversary

A few weeks ago in my calendar I noticed a little reminder that said "Happy Anniversary" on Nov 8th...

WTF

I wracked my brain for days trying to figure out what this was all about... I searched every day planner. I checked every digital calendar. I was at a loss... I couldn't for the life of me figure it out... Then I sturck on the brilliant idea of checking my blog... after all At that time in my life I was recording everything that happened to me... and this is what I found "WOW is all I can say"

Go ahead and read it....

Back yet?

Yeah One year ago today that dumb fucker Bruce* asked me to be his steady Girlfriend...

When I figured it out I sat in the computer chair for a minute waiting for the soul sucking pain to start... it never did

There was some anger and a little bit of heart ache... but none of the debilitating pain I had experienced in the past...

I'm seriously glad that his little incident happened... He's a Dumb Fuck. A Cheater. A Liar. An AssHole. I hope one day he experiences what he put me through. Then I can laugh point my finger and say... THAT"S KARMA BEOTCH!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Here is where I must admit

Well its time to admit a really bad... bad truth...

My last few posts were all written on the same day and then scheduled to post. I spaced the dates out so that it looked like I was more active than I was.

Now the reason for this confession.... its time to start a new adventure.... with a new person. On September 18th, 2009 I met the GreatDane. He is this amazing, extraordinary, fantastic human being. I'll tell you a brief version of how we met:

I posted an ad on craigslist (yes in the personals section). Purposefully I made it long and filled with great little quips. The first (and only) email I got that truly sounded like it was written by someone who had read my ad (he commented on a cupholder quip I had hidden in the middle somewhere) was from GreatDane.

The stars were aligned perfectly that night. We exchanged a few emails and then phone numbers, and then we met... at my favorite little place downtown. I got there early (like I always do) and had a little while till his arrival. I ordered my Guinness, was tapping my foot to Finnegan's Wake; when suddenly I noticed this mountain of a man come strolling in.... HOLY SHIT its him. I recognized him from his pic. I damn near choked on my beer and almost fell off of my stool.

This guy has it going on! wowsa! He's 6'2" and built like a pro football linebacker (not some scraggly college kid) and the dimple on his chin could hold enough water to solve the drought here in Vegas. His eyes! they are this deep liquid brown like that sexy commercial from Dove chocolates a few years ago... yummy yummy....

now all the good looks aside, HE's FUCKING SMART!!! and funny and witty and compassionate. and he remembers the little details... by the end of the first date he had my birthday remembered, my son's birthday remembered and he knew my eye color.

Since then we have seen each other about once a week and we talk every day.. either a phone conversation or a text conversation; sometimes both. I'm completely gaga over this guy... But I am NOT making the same mistakes with him that I made with Kurt... oops I mean Bruce*... (HAHAHAHAHA).

We have both agreed to take things slow and we BOTH mean it. I find myself anticipating his text messages. :) And he has admitted (more than once) that he keeps his phone in his hand just in case I send a random message throughout the day. The best part about us is that we have great conversations. I mean really great, awesome, amazing conversations. We can (and have) talked about everything from politics to sex (intellectual convo... and dirty convo on that last subject)...

We like just enough of the same things that we can enjoy time together. We also have enough different likes that we can happily spend time away from each other. and rather than trashing my array of likes, he simply accepts them and has made no attempt to change them. For instance: This last weekend was our Renfaire... as some of you know I'm a huge Ren Geek. I dress up, I talk in the queen's english and I loathe the stupid fairies that think their cool even though they have nothing to do with the era of the Rennaisance.

The GreatDane cannot stand the Renfaire... but rather than make fun of me or make disparaging remarks he simply kept abreast of what I was doing and even asked me if I was enjoying myself. What a sweetie.

Anyhoot... we're coming up on a month of knowing each other and we're staying on track. No moving too fast, no moving too slow. We have an established daily routine (and are establishing a weekly one). We have even embarked on a writing project together (he's a writer too!).

Keep your fingers crossed for me...

"What about DeveloperD?" you ask... well that's fodder for another blog... I'll keep you posted... LOL


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Exit Stage Left

Now I have been on A LOT of first dates. Some good, some bad, some confusing. But I can honestly say I have never been on a truly horrible first date... well I there was a time when I could say that... now I can say I have been on a horrible first date.

Henceforth in this blog this particular D-bag shall be referred to as: "Mr. My-way-or-the-highway" [Mr. MWOTH]

So we met after a monday night football game... ok he was watching football and I was watching the two hour season premier of "House" (Hugh Laurie I love you!).

We met at a park and were going to throw the old pigskin around... but when we got there it was two windy. I suggested that we walk along the path that winds around the park. Its level and short I figured we could do a couple of laps and talk.

The following conversation happened at the very beginning of our date... hell I was barely out of the Jeep. I should have known better.

Him: "are all those yours?" (referring to the stickers on my jeep)
Me: "Yeah. Why?"
Him: "Your really into Girl-power"
Me: "Yup I believe in being a strong woman"
Him: "What is a weak woman? What is a strong woman? I don't think there is a difference."
Me: "Well sure there is.. there are different definitions for different points of view, I consider myself a strong woman because I am ok with my sexuality and my femininity and I don't let people walk all over me" (the exception to this is my baby sister and my son but I didn't tell him that)
Him: "Well your wrong there is no such thing a strong woman"

He argued with me about everything! Everything I said was wrong, hell even the stickers on the back of my jeep were wrong!

When we started I turned to walk clockwise around the park... he says "What are you doing?"
Me: "um... walking around the park"
Him: "Yeah but your going the wrong way, everyone always walks counter-clockwise. I never want to walk clockwise along the path because it makes you look different"
Me: "oh... I always walk clockwise. I don't really care how I look to other people"
Him: "Why would you do that?"
Me: "Well because its a natural direction for me to walk. Clockwise is traditionally called sun-wise because its the path the Sun travels, it's believed to be the sacred path by many ancient religions"
Him: "oh, like who"
Me: "well the Ancient Egyptians and the Sumerians"
Him: "Are they really THAT ancient?"
Me: "um yeah, they were the beginnings of civilization"
Him: "Well I think your wrong about that"

Many of our conversations went like this. Every time I made a personal comment and even if I backed it up with solid evidence he told me I was wrong.... Even my personal opinions were wrong.. Since when has a personal opinion ever been wrong? there is a resaon its called a PERSONAL opinion.

After our single lap around the park (he was huffing and puffing) we sat down, and started talking but very simple stuff. I figured it would keep the arguing down... boy howdy was I ever wrong. We started talking about flowers and I mentioned that that I would not be as excited to get a dozen roses as I would be to get a single blossom of my fave flower.

Him: "So you wouldn't appreciate the gesture?"
Me: "Well yeah but not as much as I would if a guy hunted down a single blossom of my fave"
Him: "But it's the thought that counts"
Me: "sure if there is some thought in it, it doesn't take much thought to pick up a dozen red roses"

We argued for almost ten minutes along this vein of conversation...

Him: "it doesn't matter if you like them, it matters if I appreciate the gift I'm giving you"
Me: *stunned silence, jaw hangs open* sputter.... hambearssasa? "Dude that's like getting a girl who doesn't bowl a bowling ball because YOU like to watch bowling on tv"
Him: "You can compare bowling balls to roses, they're not even the same thing"
Me: *stunned silence, jaw hangs open* thinking to myself he doesn't get it, he really has no clue that its not about what the gift is....
Him: "So you wouldn't like it if we were walking along and I saw a pretty flower and picked it for you?"
Me: "that's not what I am saying at all... that would be..."
Him: interrupting me "Yes that is exactly what you are saying"
Me: "You know what I'm done here, I'm going to head home now. Have a nice night"

At this point I got up and walked away without even looking back. I can't tell you what his reaction was because I didn't stick around. Where did this guy come from? Is he for fucking real? Where do people learn these crazy things? Am I wrong?

You know what I don't care what he thinks.. All of his arguments were based on what he thinks... Nothing I said was right because he didn't agree with me, and since he didn't agree with me I must be wrong.

I'm not saying he's wrong, he's just not on the same wavelength as I... and seriously... I can't ever see myself with a guy who would tell me that everything I think is wrong... after all I am a strong woman.
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Hindu or Buddhist?

The alternate title to this is "Here a little, there a little, everywhere a little dig"

There are some people I know who like to think that they are Buddhists... I say like to "think" because modern Americans can never be true Buddhists. There are a plethora of reasons for this. too many to list. I'm not saying that you can't live by the Buddhist ideals, I'm just saying that to become a true Buddhist is out of the reach of most people (we're just WAY to materialistic).

Now the reason for this rant....

A lot of these wannabe Buddhists will end their conversations with "namaste". Like this makes them authentic or something.... it grates on my very very very last nerve... mostly because they have no idea what it means... they say it because "everyone else does".... grrrrrrrrrrrr

so without further ado:

na.ma.ste [nuhm-uh-stey]
~noun
a conventional Hindu expression on meeting or parting, used by the speaker usually while holding the palms together vertically in front of the bosom.

did you get that? ITS FUCKING HINDU!!!! as a matter of fact its the HINDU equivalent of "aloha" it has absolutely no religious meaning whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!

So not only is it NOT a religious term, its not even a fucking Buddhist term... As a matter of fact the etymology of the word is as such:

"salutatory gesture," 1948, from Hindi, from Skt. namas "bowing" + te, dat. of tuam "you" (sing.). Used as a word of greeting from 1967.

JEEZUS H CHRISTO its not even an "ancient word" its probably something some damn hippie decided to use to make himself look cool.... now its being used by a bunch of new age hippies to make them look cool.... and they don't even know why they are using it....

fucking ass monkeys need to pull your heads out of the proverbial sand and start doing your own research... stop doing what "everyone else is doing" and start being your own person...

oh how I hate hippies

Crap its got a name...

Main Entry:	polyamorous
Part of Speech:	adj
Definition:	pertaining to partipation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships

So apparently I am in a polyamorous relationship. Check it out on wikipedia. So weird. I never thought to find myself in one. Its not 100% fulfilling for me. I want that traditional man and woman monogamy thing.

How do I feel about this? I really don't know. On the one hand I very much care for DeveloperD, but on the other... lets just say I'm selfish and want him all to myself. This is never going to happen.

I could possibly be accused of using this relationship to fulfill my needs until I find "the one". So what if I am? is it really a big deal? No one is getting hurt. We all know what we are doing. We're consenting adults.

my normally jealous side is getting quite the workout. I have had to learn to keep the beast under a very strict control. I am very impressed with myself. You should be to! hell if this were a normal relationship and I found out my sigfig was banging some other broad.. well after I got done slicing her into very small pieces and feeding them to my dog, I'd cut his nuts off and make him eat them...

See you should be proud. I have not had any serious homicidal urges lately.

ahem

yeah

so well... I'm still dating other people. if you can call what I do dating... jeez its usually more like I date other people... most guys never call back after the first date.... sigh

I better not be stuck with this poly shit. its not really my cup of tea. It'll do for now, but its not going to be a long term thing. Even if I don't find someone to get serious with anytime soon, I can't say how much longer I'll be doing this. its very emotionally draining, and mentally as well.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.