Monday, April 27, 2009

(Its been crazy!)Sorry its been a minute my fellow bloggers and blog readers. Seems that once you get all your ducks in a row someone comes along and kicks them around. I promise a full recap of the last week is coming soon. Everything from a night with Geodude to the night spent in the back of my jeep. From my love affair with the fiddler to my attraction to the guitar player. its all coming soon. I promise!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Quote of the week

"Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. "

~Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

6 month review

Only I can have a six month review like this:

Six months ago:
I was in love and loved. It was a love to last through the ages..
My son was diagnosed with a learning disorder
I celebrated my first holiday with the man I loved
My hours got cut from 40 to 35 per week

Five months ago:
I turned 29.
I was still in love.
I celebrated the birthday of the man I loved.
I celebrated my second holiday with the man I loved

Four months ago:
The love of my life Broke my heart and told me he didn't love me anymore.
I found out I was pregnant.
Started seeing a therapist
I got an abortion
I got back together with the man I love
I was ignored by the man I loved
My son started in Special Ed

Three months ago:
I quit smoking
I broke up with the man I love
I started working out

Two months ago:
I started dating again (when you fall off a horse...)
I got my tax return back

One month ago:
Bought my New Vehicle
Realized that I was officially over my Ex
Realized that Internet dating sucks

SO far this month:
Got the vehicle registered and insured
Got laid off... yeah that pretty much sums it up

On top of all the other shit I have gone through in the last six months... I got laid off again... Exactly one year ago I was laid off by the same company...

SO my plans have changed a little.. I'm going to collect unemployment for a little while and focus on my son... He needs me right now. And I will be here for him.

The Internet dating thing has pretty much dried up... I haven't gotten a serious inquiry since before MasterT... sigh... the plan to visit various locations around the city to meet people in real life has to be put on hold... the Economy is keeping me from meeting people... that sucks

I went to the Las Vegas Highland Games this last weekend... I have pictures and a story of Love coming soon... also keep an eye on my poetry blog... I was inspired this weekend...
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Quote of the week

"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. "

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Deep Thoughts

This morning I had a deep thought that would have made for an excellent post... something meaningful and enlightening... but then I forgot it. I got caught up in this endless cycle we call life and I forgot what my deep thought was.

So instead, I am going to be posting about my plans for life in this new economic struggle that I will coming up against in a few short weeks.

Here is how I am predicting an average day will go:
6:30am - wake up and get dressed, get kid dressed
7:00am - Breakfast with the kid
7:30am - dishes from previous day and Breakfast
8:00am - see the kid off to school on his bus
8:01am - breathe and prepare
8:02am to 9:15am - Cardio Exercise/Walking
9:15am to 9:30am - Stretching
9:30am to 10:30am - Shower, shave
10:30am to 11:30am - relax/nap/meditate
11:45am - kid gets home from school
12:00pm - kid goes to my mom's
12:15pm - on my way to work
1:00pm to 5:00pm - work
5:01pm - do a little dance and get the heck out of there
5:45pm - pick kid up from mom's
6:30pm - dinner is served
7:00pm - Homework with the kid
7:30pm to 8:30pm - down time, kid gets to play with toys, I get to change into jammies (oh and kid does too)
8:30pm - Bed time!!!

I will make time to walk the dog, feed the cats and read somewhere in this day... also evening routines will vary depending on poetry readings and such...

I might slow my roll on the whole dating thing... I'm not really going to have the funds to do it. Just before I found out that I was getting my hours cut I had paid to sign up for another site... so I'll just let it run its course. I don't think I am going to actively search anymore... if I get an email awesome... if I don't... well that's life, or more appropriately that's MY life...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The trials of life

SO this is how life goes for me...

Lately everything has been going fairly well.. there have been some serious fails when it comes to my dating/love life, but everything else has been going good... I have been getting back on my feet financially, my walking every day has been paying off. I've been doing borderline fantastic! Then comes the axe...

as so often happens with me... just as everything is starting to look up something happens to remind me that I'm just bug on the sidewalk of life...

My hours have been cut again... The original cut was from 40 to 35 hours... now I'm down to 20 hours... there are some very good reasons why, and it is only going to be temporary (6 months tops). but it does have a rather devastating effect on my finances...

Number one being that even if I only pay for part time day care... working only 20 hours a week I won't make enough to cover the cost of day care.

Being the resourceful person I am... I have already got it figured out... I'll work my 4 hours a day in the afternoons... Which means I'll be taking my son to and picking him up from school everyday, then after he gets out of school I'll take him to my mom's where either she or her BF will watch him...

Now knowing my mom's track record.. this will work for about 3 days before she forgets her promise to me and decides to run off for a week... I really hope my boss won't mind if I have to bring the kid in sometimes... sigh...

Before the hour cut according to the state of Nevada, before taxes are taken out of my check I make enough money to be ranked at "Below Poverty"... I don't think they can even classify me anymore... and you wanna know the crazy thing... I barely qualify for assistance... and you wanna know the crazier thing I'm on waiting lists for everything... but I just found out that an illegal family got all the assistance I applied for... AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT ON A FUCKING LIST!!!!!

So now I am paying for them to use a service that I need and can't use myself... how fucked up is that...

I am a proud American, but sometimes I hate my country...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Quote of the week

"Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. "

~Groucho Marx

Friday, April 10, 2009

Love is a Bitch!

Its strange how the heart works... and love is a bitch...

I've been talking to a guy I met on eharmony. I'm going to call him MagicMan (please don't ever ask me how I come up with these damn names). We have been talking for over a week now on the phone... the only reason we haven't met yet is that He lives in St. George UT. which is like an hour and a half drive away and I would need a babysitter to watch my son while I'm gone... And I am not about to drive out there unless I'm going to spend the night and come back. SO we had made plans for me to come out this weekend, but my babysitter is sick and my mom is working... so plans have flown the coup... for a weekend trip. I might be able to make a day trip up there.. and If I can work it out I will...

We have this great spiritual connection. We share the same religious beliefs and its been refreshing to talk to someone about them. But here is my conundrum.. I don't really think I'll ever have romantic feelings for him... maybe some lustful ones... but not romantic. I keep getting the nudge from a higher power that this might turn into a mentor/student thing... which is very cool with me... I love teaching

now here is where the heart gets tricky and love is a bitch,

I got an email from Bachelor #1 yesterday... Mr. Love-at-first-sight. He wanted to know when and where I read my poetry... I emailed him back and gave him directions, an address, time and the admonision to call me if he gets lost.



because when I saw his email address in my inbox, ny heart did a sommersault. My eyes teared up. My soul grew lighter. We haven't really talked since that fateful day... except that one time I texted every dude in my phone...

Love at first sight.... so strange; that it's real and that it happened to me. Can I send up a little prayer that he can see past what is essentially a non-issue?

My religion is private. I tell the guys if they ask, but I don't talk about it. Because I am taught (and I teach) that religion is a private matter. Its between you and your god (or gods). After talking to my religious leader about the issue a few weeks ago, she told me a story about her late husband.

He was a devout Baptist.. and of course she was not. But they met and they married and they were in love. She had a deal with him... She would go to chruch with him every sunday if he would tolerate her faith in something else... and because they loved each other, it worked.

I could do that. I would do that. For love I will do anything. For true love that is.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Oh yeah there will be some very strong language in this post...

First lets start with the update on the whole Red* situation... since Tuesday he has refused to say more than a single word a day to me. Before the Drunk Texting incident We shared in a light hearted banter everyday... I'm kind of starting to miss it...

So that's what it is.. he knows it was me (so says my boss who reads my blog and talks to him), and he's pissed, or freaked, or just plain cranky... either way.. now I miss our daily diatribes and I've probably fucked up beyond repair with even trying to make friends with him...

This children is why we should leave our cell phones at home when we go drinking...

Now... onto to the latest bit about my fucked up dating experiences...

I met a guy on Tuesday night. He messaged me on one of the sites I am on and I invited him to the after-poetry drinking party. He was not nearly as cute as his pics online, and immediately I as put off by the fact that he seemed offended that my friends were there... Um duh what smart chick doesn't go to a very public place (with friends) to meet some strange dude off the Internet.

Any way... as per my usually course I got a little buzzed and put on my beer goggles. He and I ended up in a quiet dark little corner making out...

The night ended on a very good note (wink, wink)

Anyhoot... my plan for last night (Wednesday) was to go home, un plug, do laundry and just veg out, but somehow (stupid text messages) It ended up being a night where this new guy, we'll call him MasterT, ended up coming over to "hang out" and "have dinner".... which directly translates to a booty call... yup I got me some last night... and it wasn't that great... not nearly what I expected after that little pre game show from the night before.

Now let me explain... I am a normal woman, with normal urges and desires that MUST BE MET or I will go nuts. And some times my good old B.O.B. just doesn't cut it. Battery Operated Boyfriend (there now your up to speed). Now I was a little disappointed in everything so far... but things were starting to look up... we found a groove that worked for me... until I heard this:
"That's right Who's Master's dirty little slut"

Um excuse me... were you just talking to me?

Hmm so I "finished" rather quickly after that. He got his. And then As I am getting dressed and cleaned up I hear:

"Um hey do you mind if I take a shower, or a bath?"
"No go right ahead"


"What do you need me to draw your bathwater?"
"Yeah Master would like that"
::roll eyes::

so I run a super hot fucking bath and I can hear him getting in going
"shh ahh ohh hot"

yeah I hope those balls boil in that water...

So he gets dressed and leaves (did I mention that he brought his damn dog with him?)

NEVER again will that guy hear the sound of my voice, or see the image of my text.

now don't get me wrong I don't mind a little dirty talk... I don't even mind a few submission games... but that shit was taking it too far...

OH I heard that conservative from the back... "WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON YOU SLUTTY LITTLE HUSSY?" Well as it turns out this week is spring break and my mom (who sometimes is the greatest mom on earth) took my son for the next few days... they are off gallivanting around north western Arizona... so there... its not like I'm bringing strange dudes to my house... LOL as a matter of fact I'm house sitting at my mom's so there... Never been to my house and never met me son...

gawd... I'm so tire of this game we call dating... I'm trying out a new venue that my therapist turned me on to... if it works out I'll tell you about it... if it doesn't well I'll still tell you about it.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Drunk Texting and Work don't mix

OMG I can't believe I'm going to post this... why? Because my boss reads this...

WHY oh WHY did I ever give him the address.... Let's just hope this ends well for all parties involved.... OMG OMG OMG

ok so on Friday night EZ and I went out and got our groove on at our favorite watering Whole... we were joined by.. No one that I can remember.... at least not until much later in the evening, but that's jumping ahead...

We got our drink on... or more appropriately I got my drink on... I was without kid for the weekend so I mixed it up!! Needless to say I got shit-faced.. not falling down drunk, but foolish ass texting drunk...

Thankfully I didn't ex-text... that would have been very very very very bad... instead... I stalker texted... oh yeah thats right... STALKER!!! I am a psycho.

So in case you haven't been keeping up there is this asshole at work that I can't stand. Or at least that's the game I play, in reality I have the biggest crush on him ever... yowza sexy. And I have this very sneaky suspicion that he isn't nearly the asshole he pretends to be at work.

SOOOOO... on with the show... That day I took him and LDogg out for lunch... and we actually had a good time. I was impressed that he kept the asshole tendencies to a very bare minimum. skip ahead a few hours to about midnight. EZ and I have been knocking them back since about 8. I'm completely on a pity party because I bought a drink for a guy at the bar and he hadn't come over to even thank me (fucker)... so I start texting my girlfriend from work, henceforth known as Gurlie*.

She has as many if not more man troubles than I do... Yeah its that bad. We even go to the same therapist... anyhoot. I tell her I want to invite Red* out to drink with me so I want his number to text him... so after some seriously lame attempts to talk me out of it (BTW she is completely shitters herself) she gives me his number... And I start texting him...

I'm being playful and coy and he's trying to figure out who I am... after telling him my name and the fact that he owes me lunch he still doesn't get who it is... so I say "the fact that I think your the sexiest red head alive doesn't bring it all together for ya?" and he says..."what? I have brown hair"...

WTF OMG YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING SHITTING ME!!! Gurlie* gave me the wrong number and I have been texting the WRONG RED*... omg... I had already promised him that I would buy him a drink if he came down and he was already on his way, so I told him to just keep on coming...

I called Gurlie* and ripped her ass up... now I'm meeting some strange random dude who shares a name with Red* and just happens to be in her phone address book.... She apologizes and calls the guy to tell him its her fault (I made her do it).

I've got my fingers crossed hoping against hope that this guy is at least human... turns out he a major hottie who just happens to be in the Air Force... any hoot he and I hit it off and end up making out before he leaves... I sober up and look at my phone and realize that Gurlie* sent me the Real Red's number and I had texted him too... at 2 am... OMG work is going to suck on monday...

Skip ahead to Saturday Morning... my new phone starts tweeting at me I look and it's the Real Red responding to my text... at this point what can I lose? so I respond. after a few attempts at guessing who I am he gets a little pissed, so I tell him, but I'm still not sure if he gets who it was...

Monday Morning... My son had spent all weekend with my sister (she owes me babysitting time still) and he had been battling a fever on and off... monday morning he wakes up with a ragin fever. I call in sick from work... so I was saved... but today... Tuesday He wakes up chipper as the day is long... little bastard can't be sick for the whole week? damn it

so here I am sitting in my office looking out my window out of the corner of my eye trying to gauge if he really knows who it was... I don't know for sure... he stopped responding to my text messages... so we shall see...

oh and LDogg.. this is another of those "if you repeat this to anyone I will kill you, hide the body and make sure the last rites are never said for you... your name will be removed from history!!" things

ok. ok. ok. I think I can make it... if I throw up in my trash can please just ignore me and move on... Can you believe that I'm supposed to be an adult? yeah me neither...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

meme Name Game

I stole this from Travis Erwin's blog.. he stole it from someone else... I think its great and a good space filler so I don't have to think about my Drunk text messaging fiasco... gawd

1. Your rock star name (first pet/current vehicle) - Scruffy Jeep
2. Your Gangsta name (favourite ice cream flavour/fave type of shoe) - Vanilla Boot
3. Your Native American name (fave colour/favourite animal) - Blue Wolf
4. Your soap opera name (middle name/city of birth) - Sue Des Moines
5. Your Star Wars name (first 3 letters of last name/first 2 letters of first name) MccMe
6. Your Superhero name (second fave colour/fave drink) - Green Whiskey
7. Your NASCAR name (first names of your grandfathers) - Al Lee
8. Your dancer name (favourite scent/fave candy) - Vanilla Skittles
9. TV Weather Anchor name (5th grade teacher/city that starts with the same letter) - Birch Boston
10. Your spy name (fave season/flower) - Winter Daffodil
11. Your cartoon name (favourite fruit/article of clothing you are wearing) - Mango Jeans
12. Your hippie name (what you had for breakfast/favourite tree) - Milk Oak
13. Your porn star name (first pet/first address) - Scruffy Penman

Don't worry... I'm working on the whole story about this weekend's Drunk Texting... but I have to work up the guts to tell it.... sheesh I'm such an idiot...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Quote of the week

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. "

~Albert Einstein

Friday, April 3, 2009

Ok so Remeber when I posted that ad on craigslist? Well here is one of the responses I got....

"Hi, I just started a radio dating show here in Las Vegas. I would be interested in talking to you about featuring you on my show. My website is Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,
Mark Steven Blum
Owner/ On-Air Host Qpid ON AIR
(702) 555-1212 Cell"

At first I was just going to ignore it because I though it was a hoax, or just some creepy guy... but I checked out the website (if you haven't already you should) and I decided to email the guy back... well after countless emails and phone calls I was convinced to go on the show as a spotlight. So I did it... My debut was last night... it was pretty cool.... I had way more fun than I thought I would...

So now I'm pimping it.... Because I love the idea of the show, and I think Mark is a cutie :) smooches to Mark for making the experience so much fun and for demanding that I come to all the Qpid parties from now on... :)

If you don't live here in Vegas, that's cool! You can listen live online from the website... at the very least its bound to be entertaining.

As soon as I have my copy of the show I'll be posting it here for all to listen to...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Let's just be friends

Now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place!

In one hand I hold ParamedicDude, He and I have been out on three dates and I am just not feeling it.. I need to find away to tell him that I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with him, without handing down the old "let's be friends" line, because #1 I hate that line (and you'll see why in just a minute) and #2 because I hat that line. How do you gently tell a guy that your not feeling any physical attraction to him without sounding like a bitch?

ParamedicDude is such a very cool guy, and I seriously wish there was an attraction there, becuase I know he would treat me like the princess I want to be, but well.... damn it I just can't see my self gettin naked and sweaty with him.

In the other hand... I have... well I have nothing
I was starting to kind of get my hopes up with DaMan, but I got an email that said... Let's just be friends, I'm not ready for a relationship... blah blah blah.... How is it possible that even if a guy tells me he's looking for a LTR that he's not ready for a relationship? its the same old story... and I don't want to be like that with the guys I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with.

I don't want to be "like the rest of them". But on the same hand I don't want to waste someone's time (and money). How is it possible that I am standing on both sides of the fence right now? Why can't just one of these fucking dudes have a little bit of everything I'm looking for right down to a little bit of "spark"...

I can work with a little bit....

But I can't work with a negative balance of spark...

let's make a list of the guys wand what's wrong with them:
Jay: hasn't talked to me since february
Johhny: Is a complete sleezoid
Mr Dark: just quit talking to me for no apparent reason
DaMan: has decided he just wants to be friends
ParamedicDude: just doesn't do it for me
Various Bachelors: stopped talking to me or didn't do it for me
Bahcelor #1: Love at first sight, Religion gets in the way
GeoDude: Would be perfect, but he well... he doesn't want to be

so there... now tell me what's wrong with that picutre?

Oh and can I add this... these are my stats from e-harmony:
Total Matches: 123
Total Closed: 83
Total Closed by guys: 63
Total Closed by me: 20 (because they haven't returned any contact since the first of March)
Total guys who have actually contacted me: 2
one of them is ParamedicDude, and the other is a guy from St. George UT...

what a waste of fucking money

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless. sucks ass

So I am officially posting a real customer review. And its not pretty!!

I have been searching for a computer to purchase... a laptop to be exact. and I finally found one that has the right specs and the right price... it was at

I purchased it... or so I had thought. I put in all my information including my credit card number. I even got a confirmation... then this morning I open my inbox and find a message that my order had been cancelled... WTF!?

So I called the "customer service" number and got transferred from Customer Service to the Credit/billing department.... Come to find out they had problems "verifing" my information. THey were extremely vague as to what info they could not verify. I asked for a supervisor and they guy refused to transfer me! Finally after badgering this dude he tells me that when they plug in my info into they can't find me...

Wait a fucking minute here

You're trying to find me using are you fucking kidding me? I asked if they contacted my bank to verfiy my info.....

"no we do not verify your info using your bank"


And this shit head tells me that unless they can verify me on they can not process my order unless I give them a new credit card number... oh yeah sure like that is going to happen....

So I tell him to delete all my info from their computer and that I am contacting the BBB.... Oh and boy ever did I contact them... and now I am Posting it on my blog and twittering it... I hope their company goes out of business and they have to fire all their employees.... there is a reason you can't find me on the internet... its called Identity Protection you ass monkeys....

so again


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Stir the shit and get a jewish kiss

Don't get your knickers in a twist.. let me tell the story before you go thinking I'm some sort of anti-semetic asshole... jeez

Last night was of course poetry night... except I didn't feel much like going to poetry so EZ, Timshol, another friend and I went to this awesome little joint call The Mix Zone Cafe. Its a Thai place tucked away a few doors down from my favorite used book store... The food is great! if you're ever in my neck of the woods and your getting tired of the glitz and glamour of the strip, give me a jingle and I'll show you the Local side of Vegas.... including The Mix Zone

I had to take DJ, Because Baby Daddy seems to have forgotten that no matter what I do the rest of the week on mondays and tuesdays he needs to be home before 6:30.... hmpf any hoot

After the Mix Zone I took the little guy home and met up with everyone over at CD's... In case you haven't been following regularly that's me and EZ's watering hole... when we walk in the bartender has our drinks ready...

ok back to the Bar... It, once again, turned into a U.N. conference with one more Eastern European country in attendence... Go Serbia!! LOL The crowd was bigger and I decided to stir some shit... because that's what I do... I invited: GeoDude, ParamedicDude, Bachelor #1, and DaMan... they all bowed out.... all of them... bastards...

But it was on with the show once Bob* and the rest of the U.N. showed up! We laughed so hard we were snorting... the Serbian showed us how to play serbian pool (no holds barred if you ain't cheatin you aint trying, get away with it as long as you can).... There is a new champion dart team called DNA (defeated by the code of life!) this team is made up of the Yugoslavian and the Israeli... and they can kick some serious ass on the dart board...

EZ and I really cut loose and the both of us got about 3 or 4 sheets to the wind.... some how through all my flirting and coy behavior (psssh ya whateva) I ended up sitting in the Israeli's lap and we ended up smooching... (PS this is where the jewish kiss comes from you dirty bastards) and MY GOODNESS that boy has one fine mouth.... mmmmmm I am sooooo smooching those lips again... tee hee

Who would have thunk it... a few short months ago I would never have imagined myself enjoying the field, much less playing it... now look at me!!

Ok do ya'll remember Blue? No? well he came too and regaled us with his tales of immoral actions, and gave me an awesome foot massage... I had been playing (excuse me) kicking ass at pool, playing darts, flirting my cute little ass off and being a playa all night, in 3 inch heels... the foot massage was like a gift from GOD...

There were tons of memorable quotes, but I didn't wriite any of them down because I was laughing to hard... there was something about an afro and "manscape that shit bitch!", and too many references to the old man in the prison from Disney's Aladdin... tee hee

all in all it was a great night... all topped off with a good night smooch from the Israeli Love Doctor..

and I'm having a contest.... I need Blog Names for The Yugoslavian and the Israeli... the best names will get a post all about them and some serious twitter pimping from me...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.