Go JD!!

Ok so if you don't know who he is you should... its PKMtrainerJ (thats Pokemon Trainer J for those of you who don't habla) He's a good blogger and a twitter buddy of mine... best part... HE'S from england!! how cool is that!? Follow him on Twitter and Check out his blog...

so here is why I am blogging about him... sent out a twiter asking what he should draw.. I said Draw what you are drinking right now... and this is what I got:


That's right folks its a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Dr. Pepper... see even in England the old JD is loved....


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Another good blog

I have been working on creating a third blog... yeas a third one.... get over it...

any hoot

while searching for a desert camo 3 column blogger template (if you find one let me know)

I came across this great blog Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. it is great!! I love a woman who can drop the F-bomb withno qualms!

Monster Trucks Rock!

Ahem... thank you for tuning back in to the show.

Now where was I? Oh yes... MONSTER TRUCKS F*CKING ROCK!!! holy moley... I haven't been to a rally in a very long time (almost twenty years). I had forgotten how much freaking fun they are! My son and I were completely jazzed... I have so many pictures of him with monster trucks... I even have a picture of him inside a tire... Sorry WHEEL!! A wheel on a monster truck that was actually in the rally!!! freaking awesome!!!

The evening started at DaMan's house at about 12:30 where we had a BBQ and the boys played in the dirt. We carpooled from there to the show...

We got to the show early and walked around in the "pit party" which is where all the trucks are lined up for display. people can take pictures with them and get signatures from the drivers. DaMan and his son were into getting signatures, DJ and I were into ogling the trucks and the classic cars that were there... and getting pumped by the Trick Motorcycles that did a little mini show.... man it was waaaay too much fun.

The show finally started and we all sat down, DaMan's brother was with us and at first when we sat down. DaMan was behind me with the kids and his brother... but his borther insisted on switching seats with me so I could sit next to DaMan. hehehe I was totally stoked. I was completely expecting to cuddle a little, nothing major just an arm around my shoulders... you know... But nope :( although I can say I didn't miss it that much because I was completely absorbed by the show....

DJ fell asleep before the show was over, but I expected that. I was completely prepared for caryring him back to the car but after spending most of the day carrying him on my shoulders and my purse (its a mom purse) My back was beat to hell... I got to the bottom of the grand stand and around the corner and I couldn't go any further... I just couldn't... DaMan stopped with me and asked if he could carry DJ for me... how sweet... So he carried the little guy back to the truck... it was close to midnight by the time we got back to his house... I was fast asleep when we arrived.

I was half hoping he would ask me to spend the night, not for sex but because I was just soooo tired I didn't really want to drive home, and by the end of the evening DaMan had softened my resolve and really I just wanted to cuddle up with him under a fluffy blanket and snooze the night away curled up next to him...

but that will have to wait...

This week is already looking good for dates... ParamedicDude is taking me out for sushi on wednesday.

So far that's it... I'm hoping to hang out with GeoDude again... we had waaay too much fun last time. and I want to hit that third date with DaMan... Maybe sneak a kiss out of him... hehehe

Friday turned into Me and EZ and Jen sitting around playing cards. all the guys wussed out and so we played Hearts and Rummy till Jen kicked us out... we laughed and I got a whole new wardrobe.. Thanks Jen!!!
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Quote of the week

I am introducing a new weekly feature... every sunday I will post a quote for the week.. I hope you find them as enjoyable as I do..

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and would explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

~Robert X Cringely

Relationship Resolutions

Ok... I would just like you all to know that I have printed these resolutions and carry them around with me everywhere now..

You see I don't want to rush into anything and make a big mistake. AGAIN. I'm tired of getting played like a finely tuned instrument. I'm tired of getting my hopes up. I'm tired of looking like an ass when a relationship ends. So from this day forward these are my rules, resolutions and regulations:

1. I will wait to have sex. At least a month of weekly dating before there is any hanky panky.
2. I will not get serious with a guy until I have met his family and his friends, and it has been at least 4 months.
3. I will not allow my son to get too attached to any man until I am married to him.
4. I will not let myself get attached to his family and/or friends
5. I will not let my friends get attached to him
6. I will not tolerate indecisiveness
7. I will not tolerate non-communication
8. I will not be treated like a second class citizen, if they want to get serious with me they have to prove it.
9. I will not settle for anything less than what I want
10. I will be fair and compromising
11. I will extend the courtesy of being communicative
12. I will never lie
13. I will never make a promise I can't keep
14. I will never pressure anyone into anything

Ok.. now rules for him:

Don't ever lie to me, it makes me crazy
Don't ever expect me to be completely sane at all times
Don't make promises to my son that you can't keep
Don't make promises to me that you can't keep
Don't ever take me for advantage
Do be prepared to have dinner made for you every night
Do be ready to be showered with affection
Do keep your eyes open and pay attention
Do be ready for me to pay attention to the details

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

WAIT please let me catch my breath.... gasp

Aallllllrighty then.

So... this is going to be a week in review...

Let's start with Monday... Started talking to DaMan* (dude formerly known as Bachelor #4) on the phone... now we talk every day for like an hour or two a day... ok mostly I babble and he listens, but the cool part is that the first thing he always asks... "How was your day". you see not even Bruce* did that shit.... ass hole (sorry I'll try to keep the bitter ex-girlfriend shit to a minimum). We are really hitting it off on the phone convos. Well he went ahead and bought me and DJ tickets to MonsterJam... so no matter what the boy and I get to drooooooool all over the big turcks... mmmm YEEEHAAAW (oops sorry I let the redneck out there for a second)

There is another guy that I haven't been talking about... we have already been on 2 dates, but I'm just not feeling it... He's a nice enough guy and he's okay looking, but somehow I'm just not feeling "it" I hate being this fickle... why can't I just get that damnable spark from one of these guys... anyhoot He shall hence foth be known as ParamedicDude... because he's a paramedic... duh...

ok now that's out of the way... I haven't heard any thing from Bachelor #5 so he's gone the way of the Dodo.. I don't have time to sit around waiting for your sorry asses... guys if you want to date this you need to pursue it...

ok back to the week:

Monday: got word that we're going to redneck heaven no matter what... Texted ParamedicDude all day, Talked to DaMan for like 2 hours....

Tuesday: Texted ParamedicDude all day, Talked to DaMan for like 2 hours.... (consistant) Did poetry and met up with some buddies at our fave watering hole, CD's Lounge. These guys are HIGH-LARIOUS... the mix went like this... One Yugosolvian, One Croatian, and One Israelli (its like our very own U.N. here).... Add some Bob* and a little EZ and stir... HOLY SHIT dude these guys are fucking funny... here are some memorable quotes:

"I don't care what people call me as long as they don't beat me up" ~ the Yugoslavian when asked why he somtimes makes up names for people to call him

"When you have sex with your girl when she is on her period you can go all the way" ~ the Croatian explaining why he'll do it with a girl when she is on the rag
"Yeah you can dig that ditch"~ the Israelli in response to the Croatian

I was laughing so hard all night that I was snorting... whew... My sides still hurt

and I am totally crushing on the Israelli... CUTIE!! mmmmm

Wednesday: Texted ParamedicDude all day, Talked to DaMan for like 2 hours.... (still consistant) Work sucked, and I had a HUGE blow out with my Religious and Spiritual leader... It completely bummed me out... I already had a date planned with ParamedicDude but I wasn't sure what kind of company I would be... so I called him and told him it was his choice... I warned him that I would be sullen and probably drink rather heavily... and cuss alot... He said it was cool he still wanted to see me... Let me tell you this... He is a very sweet guy and the girl who bags him is going to be one very lucky woman... But he can't play pool worth a shit... and he planted a smooch on me that was neither asked for nor returned... ugh... I hate it when guys think they can just swoop in and steal my kisses... WAIT FOR ME TO MAKE THE MOVE... dumb ass... I was a little ticked about that but then we were both kinda drunk (or Crunkalishous as That Girl would put it) so I'm not tooo stressed out about it...

Thursday: Texted ParamedicDude all day.... Went on first official date with DaMan... (consistancy traded for face to face). DaMan has been sick all week and it was starting to get worse that morning... I said "We can always wait till saturday..." and he says: "I don't care if I'm on a gurney I'll ask the paramedics to swing by, I'm not missing this for the world" hehehehehe too sweet

I try to be early to everything... At least 15 mins, but its a lost art on people from my generation. Which is why most of my friends and the guys I date are older than me. Well imagine my surprise when I get there and I see his truck already parked... "How do you know what his truck looks like?" Because he sent me a pic of it... Why? because I'm a motor-head and he knew I would like it.... *sigh* can we move on please?

ok back to the date... Well we started out at ReJAVAnate, because I like it there and everyone knows me there so its fairly safe. But we ended up having dinner next door at Ichabods Lounge, where they had a 3 piece jazz ensamble playing and the food is always good... He bought dinner and we talked alllll night long. ok well we talked till about 9.

The big question... Is there a spark?

The big answer... Yes

HOT DAMN I FOUND THE ALL-SPARK (oops I just geeked it up in here a little bit)

ok its not like it was with Bachelor #1 (shit if I wasn't a good girl I would have gone home with him that night)... but there is something there.... So I am going to definitely pursue it... we'll see where it goes... Keep an eye out tomorrow (yes a saturday post) for some relationship resoltuions I am making...

Friday: POKER NIGHT!!!! Its going to be my very own U.N. conference. The guys from tuesday have been invited... everybody's favorite Frenchman might be coming, if he and the wife can stop puking long enough to ante up. Bob* is ditching his out-of-state booty call to come, and I have invited GeoDude... mmmm yummmy.... I hope all goes well, I would hate for it to turn into me and EZ just sitting around playing Scrabble... Although that would be fun too....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

so much to say and so little time

I've got a big blog in the works for friday... I have been so busy at work that I just can't get to bloggin.... But I will leave you with this great little number that My mom sent me.... yes my mom sent me this

Be safe

Bachelor #2 please take a bow

I like to go back and re-read my posts... because I'm narcissitic.

Anyway I got the part in yesterday's post where I talked about my date with Bachelor #2 (who still needs a blog name) And I find that I failed to truly express how great the date was... Since we had been talking over the internet via email and Google Chat (if you don't have it, get it) for more than a week, it was rather easy for us to have a real face to face conversation. Plus it helped that we had a conversation starter...

I have to pick 5 questions to be asked on this radio program I am going to be on (more on that in a later post) and I couldn't narrow the list down to 5... sheesh. Bachelor #2, being the excellently awesome dude that he is, offered to help me. Even though this radio program is designed to get me more dates...

He actually did very well I think... the questions that we have picked out will reveal, quite accurately, the kind of person I am. Now if I could just come up with some witty one minute answers to the questions then everything will be allright...

So Hat's off to Bachelor #2 for putting up with me on our date and for being so kind in understanding why I'm still looking for my Prince in the sea of frogs...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Frogs, Princes, Bachelors and Friends

Be warned this is a long ass post!!

Firday morning I woke up feeling like I got hit with a mack truck.. I was spiking a fever at 102. My throat felt like it had been lined with razor wire and my eyes complained everytime I blinked... so I called in to work... and I went back to bed..

I slept wrapped in a big fuzzy blanket trying to sweat out my fever... and it worked... 5 hours later I woke up feeling ok.. not perfect but ok... I almost considered cancelling my plans with Bachelor #1. However... I figured If I could tough out the rest of the day I would be ok for a dinner date... simple dinner...

We went to dinner at mcayos (he paid) And after we were done we ended up sitting there till 9:00pm (we got there at 6) Then we went to bar and sat and talked till 11:00!! It was awesome! we connected and laughed and kept getting closer and closer till by the end of the evening I was practically sitting in his lap... Of course religion came up and I told him about mine... He's a fairly devout Christian... but that was early in the convo....

By the end of the evening we had made plans to go up to Mt. Charleston on Saturday morning... Well we hugged and he sneaked in a pretty damn good kiss... we got home we text flirted for a few and then went to bed.... I got up saturday and was sorting through my hiking clothes trying to find the cutest outfit and he calls....He sounded tired, I shit you not here is what he said:

"You see last night I met this chick. This really awesome chick! She's beautiful and smart and funny and honest and I could totally see myself falling for her... BUT... I was up all night wrestling with myself about the religion thing... and I just don't see how we can get around the difference in our religion... it wouln't be fair to either of us... I would hate to waste your time"

So we said goodbye

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do. And I know that what I felt for this guy would have eventually turned into the stuff that they write romance novels about. But that damn belief that people of different religions can't be happy together has fucked everything up...

My religion is who I am and I won't give up a part of me for anyone.

Later that Day GeoDude called.. Oh yeah you remember him right? Super HOT Geologist, Hottie McHoterson.... mmmmm. He wanted to hang out that saturday night, I said sure. After all once you take a crushing blow you need something to pick your spirits up...

We were supposed to meet at my Fave bar which is about half way between us, but on his way there he realized he didn't have his wallet... he had left it at his friends house... where he had spent the entire afternoon playing Axis and Allies with his buddies... (yeah he is a SUPER HOT GEEK!!) So he asked me if we could meet closer to his place so his friend could bring him his wallet.

So there we are sitting in the only bar in vegas that CLOSES!! and we are trying to decide where to go... we find this little place called Shotz, where they have a daily $1 shot... awesome!! I'll shorten this story a little bit... we both get completely shit faced and way to trashed to drive anywhere... luckily his place is right around the corner.. so I find myself woozy on his couch... he puts in "The Big Lebowski" hands me a cup with some burbon in it... I remember finishing the burbon... but I do not remember finishing the movie... The next morning we got up and said our goodbyes with promises to hang out again soon... after all he wants to play Oblivion on my PS3... and I want to play Oblivion on my PS3 on his ENORMOUS HDMI TV....

At some time in the coversation we had he stopped me in the middle of what I was say and said:
"Wait... so You have big boobs, you watch sports and you play video games? You're every guys wet dream!" LOL too funny and that did the ego good...

Remember Bachelor #3... well he hasn't been responding to my text messages so I am assuming that its a no go with him...

So lets get to Bachelor #2... he and I have been chatting over Google Chat everyday... and he is super cool... We made plans to go to dinner Sunday night. He picked me up and took me to Roxy's inside the Startosphere... I swear to god this was the best place every!! I had so much fun watching the wait-staff singing and dancing... I seriously suggest that if ever come to vegas that you make it a point to there... freaking COOL!! We had a good time. THe conversation was easy and we laughed.... Now here is where things get hairy... you see being an Uber Techno Geek he found my blog and has read the WHOLE thing... yeah he knows all my dirty little secrets... Which is cool because now I don't have to explain anything to him. But it also means that he is reading this post... right now... scarry....

so conclusions for the weekend: I have made two new friends... GeoDude and Bachelor #2 (Who needs a Blog name now). I lost a frog (good bye Bachelor #3)... and there was a prince that got away (Sweet Sorrows for Bachelor #1)

Now onto to thiss week...

Bachelor #4: Nice guy, has a son, single dad, into to off-roading and Sandrails. We have been chatting over email for more than week now and finally got around to exchanging numbers, we have a dinner date planed this week and if all goes well... he's going to buy me and my son tickets to the Monster Truck rally this weekend... SWEEEEEEET!

Bachelor #5: He and I have been talking online for over two weeks now, but with his daughter being in town, we just never got around to talking on the phone or meeting in person... Finally exchanged numbers and I think he is coming to poetry this tuesday... but I'm not sure..

Oh and did I forget to tell you about the guy from EHarmony? Well our date went ok... actually he is a really cool guy... we have a lot in common, but once again... no spark... We are going out again this week for drinks and possibly sushi.... mmmmm sushi....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

ok so now what do I do?

So just a few days ago I was bemoaning the fact that online dating sucked and that I was going to give up on it... Then I got this book in the mail that I will never in a million years admit to buying (so don't ask!). It had some really great ideas on how to make online dating work for you... So I took some of its advice and I branched out beyond the shitty sites I was using. I posted the following ad on craigs list (stop yelling at me I know that place is full of perverts but sheesh wait till the end of the story!)

"Well hello, thanks for stopping by... pull up a chair and let me buy you a drink. What will you have? Nice drink! Bartender Can I get one for the gentleman and I'll take a Jack and Seven...

Now where was I? oh yeah I was going to tell you about last weekend...

Man it sure was fun...

Saturday started sometime around 7 am. We got up and had breakfast. Oh that's My son and I. Nothing crazy just some toast and gravy... homemade? of course what a silly thing to ask! After breakfast we packed all our hiking gear into the Jeep, we put the hiking harness on the dog and off we were into the wilds of the nearby desert. We did about 3 miles. nothing too hard mostly flat dirt. We set up our picnic and had lunch at the end of the trail where we tooled around for a little bit. When we got home we were tired and dusty so after a quick clean-up and a change of clothes we were getting the house ready for a get together of some of my favorite friends... To him they're all his "Aunts" and "Uncles". Once everyone was there the laughter was flowing the music was playing and the cards were flying.. Gotta love a friendly home game of poker.

Sunday was an easy day. The boy and I again were in the Jeep. this time headed off to the junk yard to see if we could find that diamond in the rough part. We're working on making the Jeep a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. We spent the afternoon cleaning and dancing around to whatever music is pounding through the surround sound system. Bedtime was nice and simple... After a read of the book sitting on the nightstand, and a few rounds of "Twinkle Twinkle" we kissed each other good night and said our "I love you's"

So what was wrong with my weekend? Quite simply, You weren't there...

Would you like another drink? ok the next round is on you. I've got some quarters for the pool table... wanna join me?"

The response was (and is) overwhelming... Granted about 85% of the responses are from guys looking for an easy lay. the next 10% are guys I will never date (I have my hang ups) but that last 5% is what I have been looking for... Guys who are grounded, and looking for something that could have the potential to grow into something more... like a serious long term relationship...

Of that 5% there are three of them that I think are neck in neck.

Bachelor #1 is single never been married, doesn't have kids, owns a customized Scout that has been built for off-roading, owns 2 dogs, has his own place... Cute as hell! plays guitar.... Negatives: seems a little reluctant to enter the tech age (doesn't like texting at all)

Bachelor #2 is divorced, an uber geek that owns his own consulting firm. He is funny and down to earth, likes alot of the same geeky things I like. completely into the Tech age
Negaives: seems to lead a sedentary lifestyle

Bachelor #3 is all of the above. We talked for three hours on the phone (after nine when it is free) and we are looking for alot of the same things in a relationship.
Negatives: He is a devout Christian. For some this normally wouldn't be a problem, but My reilgious beliefs are not something he may ever get over.

I have a tentative date with Bachelor #1 tomorrow. Bechelor #2 I may try to get together with him this weekend... and Bachelor #3 will have to decide if he wants to pursue something with me. I told him about my religion, I told him to check it out and do some research on it. I gave him the basic jist of it.

Tonight I have a date with the one and only guy from Eharmony that has shown any interest... I'm not reallly excited about this prospect... but I'm giving everyone a shot.

My Prince Charming may not be in the package I was expecting...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Not a weekend update...

I know you are all dying to hear about my weekend... but I have a much better story to tell you (Ldogg whatever you do never ever ever repeat this to anyone!!!) Yeah my boss reads my blog... makes it hard to use the old "I'm calling in cause I'm sick" excuse..

So Yesterday was International be Irish for a day Day. Better known as St. Patrick's Day. The plan was supposed to go down like this... get off work, go home to mom's, eat corned beef and cabbage, go to poetry, grab a beer afterwards... be home and in bed by 10:00pm; 11:00 at the latest. But went more like this:

Get off work, got to mom's, eat shepherd's pie, Pick up EZ and Bob*, Ditch poetry hit the bar at 7:30 and partied till 5:00am... yeah 5:00am but that is not the best part of this story....

You see there were 2 guys who were supposed to show to meet me... neither showed.. I was feeling rather shitty about myself but I had Jack Daniels and Bob* and EZ and a new convert into our fold... Timshol* (follow him on twitter @timshol_lv)... so life was good...

at one point I went to the bar and noticed three very nice looking gentlemen sitting at the bar ordering a pitcher of beer and trying to find five dollars cash in their pockets to pay (this particular bar doesn't take cards... WTF right?).. I had an extra five and tossed it out to pay for their pitcher... they thanked me and I invited them over to our table to shoot the shit and drink with us...

This is the first time in a very long time I have invited a hot guy (let alone three) to come sit with me (never mind that I had 3 other people there). They willingly obliged and after a few minutes conversation we find out that all three are Grad Students in the Geology Department here at UNLV... Fucking Awesome.... Within 5 mins my little eyes couldn't take themselves off of one in particular... He is talllllll, and broad, and smart... so smart.... and his eyes... OMG his eyes... the kind you could drown yourself in... yeah... after a little while everyone falls into their own little chat group and Hotti McHoterson and I find ourselves talking to each other... along comes about 3 am and the Grad Students decided the need to go home... One to his wife and the other to his left hand (it could be his right I didn't ask)... I never expected to see any of them again... low and behold who returns? Hottie McHoterson... HELL YEAH!!!

And once again he and I find ourselves absorbed in conversation... Bob* of course is tossing his little "bob digs" my way and Hottie says "I'm just waiting for her to punch you the face" :-D I would never but I have entertained the thought once or twice... Sometime around 4:45 we convince Bob* that we need to go home... and guess what happens.... Hottie puts his number on a napkin and gives it to me... HOLY SHIT... can I just say that THIS HAS NEVER EVER EVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE... this has got be too good to be true...

We head out and load up and I take EZ and Bob* to their respective homes... on my way home I realize that I have Hottie's number but he doesn't have mine... so I send him a text message... Fully expecting a wrong number or no reply at all... Buuuuuut... he texts me back and we converse for a little bit and then he says "if we are going to start a real conversation why don't we do it over the phone" so I call him... fully expecting him to send me to voicemail.... buuuuut he answers... and we talk while I am getting ready for work... which basically consists of changing my clothes and loading my son up for day-care...

we talk while I am on my way to work (quite your bitching you pansy ass MFers... I can talk wirelessly while I drive).... and he asks the big question

"So are you looking for a relationship or just someone to hang with"

here is where things can get really messy... because I am kind of looking for both... I am looking for someone I can hang with that has the potential of becoming a relationship....

"well sort of... I know what I want and I looking for it... if I find it I'll go after it, but till then I'm just looking"

and he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want to lead me on and how he's not really looking for a relationship, and yada yada yada

I think I did rather well by not screaming my frustration at the top of my lungs... instead I played it cool and said that was cool, that He's a cool guy, and it would still be cool if we hung out, and I'm totally cool with just being friends.... (yup I really did use the word cool that many times in less than 2 mins) and we talked about how a good friend of mine told me that I would have to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince... and he goes and says something like this:

"well I'm not that prince, but if I were looking for a relationship I probably would be"

now explain to me why guys say shit like that? do they like fucking with our heads? sigh... i'm a sucker though... because we ended the conversation with the agreement that we will probably go out on a "date" and that we will definitely go out with our buddies again and that we will flirt outrageously with one another... I sure do hope he can handle seeing me date other dudes...

so here I sit sleep deprived, at my desk, bloggin about this guy, and I find myself agreeing with EZ's sagely advice... "Men are the enemy until they prove otherwise"

Right on my sista, right on

PS from now on we will refer to Hottie McHoterson as GeoDude (yes you geeks I know that is the name of a popular rock pokemon but I don't care)

Best Quotes of the evening:
"I would just like to say in my defense that I got used by a 17 year old girl for sex"
"Libertarians are like Super Republicans"
"His nose was bit off by a 16 year old prostitute"
"and they have 'Dry-lake submarine races' in their pick-up trucks"

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Coming Soon...

Sorry I have been really busy so far this week.. hopefully I can put up a post tomorrow... Have a Safe Paddy's Day and don't forget to wear Orange!!


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

one month later

It is now one month after I decided I couldn't take anymore of Bruce's mind fucking. I love you, I don't love, I love you, I don't know what I want, You're everything I want, I love you, I went on a date with another woman, blah blah blah... he is the eptiome of the Katy Perry song... I'm adding a link to the lyrics at the bottom of this post...

I still go through days where I miss him like crazy, or at least where I miss the him from back in November. November was when all the good things where happening, its when he was still the thoughtful, considerate, compassionate, amazing man that I fell in love with. But those days are gone. I'm finally getting over it. I'm still a little sore that I lost someone I considered a very good friend over it. Actually Now I am more upset that I no longer have Steve* in my life than I am that Bruce* is gone.

But that is how life goes... If you need to lay the blame me, then so be. I'll carry the weight of the burden because I am strong enough to do so. And if you aren't strong enough to be my friend, or even my casual aquiantence, then I don't want you around either.

Its very simple, I am getting back to basics. I am re-learning that I love myself. (its coming very slowly) Part of this process (as perscribed by my therapist) is to fill my life with things I like to do. Or things I used to like to do. Its why I am getting back into hiking regularly, and starting in May I'll be camping once a month, and why my new vehicle has 4-wheel drive. Its why I have looked into how much riding lessons will be. And its why I am dating...

Ok OK you can't call what I am doing dating... there is no freaking way this can be qualified as dating... I have been on one date with one guy... Every other guy who showed interest pulled the old "if I ignore you then you will go away" bit. UGH. Men are so fickle...

Maybe I should go back to dating women...OH DEAR GOD NO!!! they are just as bad as men... sometimes worse... trust me I know...

The amazing therapist from heaven says I need to work on my patience, that eventually I'll meet a guy on one of these really cool expeditions I am going on. I really hope so. So far the male to female ratio has been dreadful... at the first one there was one dude, he was an old dude, he was a married dude. On wednesday there was one dude, He was a cute dude, He was an IRISH dude, But he was a married dude, and married to one of the girls in the group.

I have un-believeably horrible luck.

You would think that with all that irish blood running through me I would catch an irish lucky break every now and again... yeah right...

I'm not to proud to beg:

PLEASE PLEASE dear readers send me your best wishes, send me you heartfelt prayers, send me your flame-shipped god messages, send me your best visualizations, Please help me get lucky ;-)

Katy Perry, Hot and Cold

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Online Dating Sucks... so far

I was going to do this long diatribe on why online dating sucks big hairy donkey balls... but I got bored writing it so I know you would get bored reading it.... let's just suffice it to say that I have NEVER met a quality man (who wants to date me) while doing the online dating thing... I'm going to let the subscriptions I have run out and then go back to doing it the old fashioned way...

Well hell what is the old fashioned way? for me it was asking the cute boy in third period American Lit if he wanted to go to the movies with me.... or asking that guy who works over in the other department on our floor if he wants to grab some coffee at lunch.. Since I'm not 16 any more and the only available dude I work with is the Office Asshole; I really have no idea what I'm doing... Any hints? Anyone got any ideas? HELP!!!

I'll leave with the funniest damn thing I have seen all week:

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sucker!! That's me

Ok so here is the weekend update:

Let us start with Friday's poker night... More people showed up than I had anticipated and some people didn't show at all... Bob* brought his new girlfriend, And Mr Dark* didn't show. No call - no show. Your Fired!

I'm not putting up with that kind of shit any more. I got enough of that with Asshole...

But of course I am a little disappointed. I mean come on... all that morning and the night before we had been texting and he seemed really stoked about coming over.. he was even thinking about coming over early so we could have some one on one face time.... That didn't happen, shit here it is Monday and I still haven't heard from him... not even an apology for not showing... well that means only one thing... He is not what he pretended to be. at this point the only excuse I will find acceptable is if he is right now in the hospital in a coma.

So about half way through night I got a little tired of feeling sorry for myself and I texted another guy I have been talking too and invited him over... We'll call him Johnny*. He is completely obsessed with the size of my boobs. This does get on my nerves a little bit and I don't really feel that "spark". but I find that it is good for the ego to have a guy drooling all over you.

So he came, and the poker night got hot and heavy... money was flying, people were cussing, Drinks were being made...

Hot damn... the final battle was intense, it came to just Johnny* and Shou Shou*. Shou Shou won but only by a single card... it was GREAT!!!

afterwards everyone left except Johnny* he stayed and we chit chatted, and then he smooched me, and we got into some heavy petting (he focused mainly on the boobs of course). It was good for me. Why? because my insecure self needed that little boost that somewhere in this world is a guy who thinks I'm hot (or that at least my boobs are).

ugh... but there still isn't that "spark". I'll probably see him again (in fact I already have) but I doubt that I want to get into a relationship with this guy. More on why later...

So the weekend with my Crazy Sister was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I think her Fiance is mellowing her out. we did everything... we went fishing, and shopping and we even hit up the Ren Faire out in Boulder City. It was a really nice weekend with her.

SOOOO

On Sunday night Johnny took me out to dinner. It was his suggestion. I was kind of stoked... its been a while since a guy asked me to go to dinner. I figured "what the hell, let's give this a shot" My thinking was that this guy can't be any worse than the dudes who don't call me... ha ha..

He showed up in jeans and sneakers... I will concede that he had on a collared shirt. but it was a polo... and not a crisp one either... looked more like he had been in it all day. I on the other hand took it too far again. on my shopping expedition with my sister I bought a new sweater to wear, I paired it with my favorite brown slacks, donned my new brown leather wedges, puckered up with some lip gloss and even anointed myself with a fragrance I only wear on special occasions. I topped it all off with this really cute off to the side messy bun. I looked FUCKING HOT. I could have walked into any club on the strip and gone home with a smoking hot 21-year old stud who could keep my going all night.

Instead I'm sitting in a car with a 42 year old man who doesn't think enough about me to even put on a pair of slacks.... or at least some pressed and starched jeans. He asked me where I wanted to go and I suggested Cozymel's.. its good food and moderately priced. But then he says "No I don't like Mexican food... why don't we go downtown" and then proceeds to bitch about all the tourists downtown. So I suggest Jerry's Nugget. They have this great little Italian joint that has excellent food and is super cheap. (he and I both ate for less than $30).

But all the way through dinner all he could do was bitch about his ex and his kids and the shitty day he had, and about some other broad he was seeing before me. We had about 10 mins of real conversation. Where we talked about the fundamental differences between us... I have a good sized circle of acquaintances that I hang out with and he is essentially a loner. He hates weekends; he would rather work 7 days a week and take one day off every other week, I love my weekends and fill them from waking to passing out with activities and fun with my friends and kid.

The evening ended with us talking about sex and our views on it. Needless to say we have extremely different views on that subject. In conclusion I have decided that I am not going to "date" this guy. not even casually. IF he asks me out again, I'll go. But only because its a free meal...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Poker, My sister, and Counting to Ten

Tonight I am hosting my first ever Poker Night.. I'm kicking The ex and the kid out of the house and there are actual adults coming over to socialize with me.... WOOHOO!! the guest list so far:
EZ
Jen
Shou Shou
Bob*
Crazy Don*
Mr. Dark*
and myself!!

there are some new names on that list that I haven't blogged about before.
Crazy Don* is another person that EZ has introduced to our circle... He's been to poetry and to one of our pool playing drinking nights. He has some very interesting talents and is one very cool dude to talk to.

Mr. Dark* (insert girly sigh) is so sexy that its ridiculous. His story is a strange one... Mr. Dark and I met (through EZ of course) a few months ago. At the time we each thought the other was damned cute, but because I was just starting to get serious with Bruce* nothing ever came of it. After that initial meeting there was no further contact.... until a few days ago. on one of my online dating accounts I was added to a person's favorites list. I checked this guy out and he seemed familiar, but couldn't place him... not that it really mattered he was freeaking HOT!! damn. any hoot.... I sent him a message and after some banter he tells me who he is... and no shit I am completely stoked... We have been texting every day for like three days... seems we have bunches in common... including being completely burned from the last person in our lives... We have flirted, chatted, and exchanged some interesting info about each other...

I really like this guy, but I'm not taking on any serious relationships right now. he understands that. So we're going to be friends and he wants me to teach him some of the more arcane knowledge that I have... tee hee... I am going to bring him over to MY dark side... MUWAWAWAWAWAWAWA... ah...

The other thing happening this weekend... my CRAZY sister is coming into town... actually as I write this she is here already... This chick is nuts!! completely nuts... ok maybe not completely nuts, but she has some serious emotional issues that she needs to work through.. DUDE GO SEE A THERAPIST!! I love her, but sometimes she makes me nervous, and always she exasperates me... I don't know where I went wrong raising her... Sparky* came out ok...

There is serious tension between her and my mom, and because my mom has been numbero uno in helping me with my kid I am going to have my mom's back... But this means that the first time Crazy Sister gets out of line I'm cutting her off from nephew privileges. She has this almost unhealthy attachment to my son... She only spent less than a year watching him for me.. she hasn't been here for any of the big steps, and none of the drama in recent days... hell I doubt she even has a full scope on things...

I'm glad I already have a therapist, because I'm sure going to need one after Crazy Sister goes back to the great white north...

now back to my little guy and his developmental delays... In the last almost 2 months since he has started in special ed... he has dramatically improved... He went from barely putting two words together to making whole sentences! with like three or four words all together... his articulation is improving by leaps and bounds... and now he can do two things that I cried over.... he can say his ABC's correctly... by himself... the first time he did this for me, I completely broke down... Then a week or so later.... He counted from one to ten all by himself again... this time I was driving and had to pull over because I was crying so hard..

these things my seem like small potatoes to you, but to me they mean that I did the right thing and that now my son is finally getting up to speed. They mean that he is going to have the opportunity to learn like other kids and maybe even better. These "little things" are huge steps forward, so huge that they are almost unheard of. Its like he had this knowledge locked away inside his head and all he needed was someone with the right key to unlock it.

I'm such a proud momma. So proud.... damn it there I go crying again...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The GODS of Rock

U2


Yes that awesomest of bands, the greatest of rockers, the men of soul and substance have a new CD out... I bought it yesterday. And damn if that wasn't an experience.

So I work only a few short blocks away from where the Ex lives (that would be Bruce* the Asshole). And literally right around the corner from his house is a shopping center where there is a Best Buy and the store where Steve* works... I being the biggest U2 fan ever was upset with myself that I didn't already have a copy of No Line on the Horizon. So on my lunch break yesterday I decided to go get my copy... the only problem is that the closest place to where I work where I can buy it is... yup you guessed it... the Best Buy around the corner from where Asshole lives and in the shopping center where Steve* works.... Fuck me.

So I went. Hell if the only place to buy the CD had been out of Bruce's* living room I would have gone. On the way there I started having a panic attack. My heart started racing, I started sweating but I was cold, My hands started to shake. it was awful.

The whole way there Thoughts kept running through my head like:
"Shit if I run into him here he's going to think I'm a psycho stalker!"
"If I run into him here I might go nuts and attack him... I am a Psycho!!"
"OMG! what if I run into him and he's with that bimbo he cheated on me with?"
"Fuck if I run into Steve* and he tries to make convo with me I might slap him... then EZ would be mad with me"
"Shit what happens if I run into Bruce* and he falls to his knees and grovels for me to take him back" I'm so crazy I just might...NO DON"T LISTEN TO THE CRAZY WOMAN!!!

Damn it all to Hell!!! then I get there and I'm so nervous and twitchy the whole time I'm in the store that the people keep coming to ask me if I need any help or if I have found everything... Not because they were friendly but because I looked a shoplifter. Shifty eyes that keep glancing over my shoulder and peeking around the corner of every aisle I'm about to walk down.... sheesh.

It was horrible!

By the time I got my purchases paid for and I was out in my car, I was drenched in sweat and as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs... I ripped the thin plastic wrapper from the coveted special edition CD and reverently placed the holy disc into the car's CD player...

Then all was right with the world

Life was back to normal

I listed to that CD 4 times yesterday and as I sit here typing I am one song away from the end of today's first round (there will be many many more today).

I am struck by how varied the music is on this album. It runs the gamut from traditional U2 tunes to some experimental sounds. And unlike the POP album, all of it is good... I will not blaspheme by saying that anything by U2 is bad... but not all of it is Joshua Tree worthy. This album could the beginning of a beautiful run... every song has its own personality and rhythm. My favorite so far on this album is Moment of Surrender

Here are my favorite lyrics from that song:

At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passers-by
And they did not notice me
I've been in every black hole
At the altar of the dark star
My body's now a begging bowl
That's begging to get back, begging to get back
To my heart
To the rhythm of my soul
To the rhythm of my unconsciousness
To the rhythm that yearns
To be released from control

Truly beautiful words... they touched me...

I made a second purchase yesterday too.. I bought the latest Kid Rock album Rock n' Roll Jesus. The first two songs on the disc are just Eh.. not much to listen to, feel free to skip past them.. but everything else on that disc is BAD ASS!! My favorite song on that disc is called Sugar, its my new rock anthem

here are the opening lyrics to that song:

Hard to remember if anything was real
Cold like December and I don't like how that feels
I been livin' a long time
I been givin' a long time too
And I can't believe I wasted so much time on you
But time has brought me back around
Back around to me
And I feel so free

WOOT!! it's a rockin ass song.. lots of nasty lyrics... Good for the soul to get nasty every now and then...

Mini Update:
Online Dating tends to suck.. with one exception (blog coming soon)
Guys are way too obsessed with the size my boobs (blog coming soon)
I'm having a poker night at my house (blog coming tomorrow)
My sister who makes me look completely sane is coming into town this weekend (god save us all)
MY SON COUNTED TO TEN ALL BY HIMSELF!!! (blog coming tomorrow)

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

A new blog to follow

ok shit... I read like 4 of this guys blogs and was alternately laughing my ass off and crying my eyes out... I have decided to add him to my very special list of blogs that I follow... I sugest you do too.

Black Hockey Jesus at "Wind in your vagina"

STOLEN BLOG!!

ok I'm totally stealing this from Doodles of a Journo!

I laughed out loud when I read this... and being a woman who reads books... well I just couldn't help myself...

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?''
Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book?' she replies.
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

The "Amazing" Weekend Update

This weekend was amazing!!

I went on my first hike with one of my meet-up groups... It was about 4 miles of an amazingly good time. There where about 6 other people besides my son and myself. All Women except for one Dude (one old dude). Almost every one (including me) brought their dogs.

I'll finish the story of the hike before I get into the story of the Dog...

DJ walked the whole way by himself!! I was so proud of him. He fell a couple of times but he didn't whine very much (if at all). He used his charm and had all the ladies falling in loooove with him before we finished the trail.

At the end of the hike was this amazing waterfall.... we sat around for a few mins, let the dogs play around and took some pictures (I'll be posting mine later tonight or tomorrow). DJ and I re-fueled with some snacks I brought along..

The trip back sucked a little bit... We ended up going off trail and trekking through the bush.. which sucks ass... there were cactus balls everywhere. We had to stop every few seconds to dig them out of the dogs' paws. Mattie (my dog) got a bad one that delayed us for so long that we almost lost the group..

By the time we got back to the cars everyone was sufficiently tired but in good spirits.

I am definitely going on that hike again... and even now I am trying to decide what I want to do this weekend!

Now about the Dog...

Her name is Mattie.. she is 6 years old, and she is amazing!

Back in September or October I promised my son that I would get him a dog for Christmas... but because I started dating a guy (please read as ASSHOLE) that was extremely allergic to dogs, I put a hold on that promise until I had the money saved to get one of those Labradoodles (allergy friendly). Because that's the kind of person I am.... FUCKING KIND AND GENEROUS (good luck finding that again you duchebag)... well in light of recent events (that would be me dropping his ass) I started looking for a dog...

I wasn't seriously looking, just cruising some ads on that wonderfully amazing Craigslist site... Well I came across an ad with pics... I took one look and fell in love... so I called the Lady in the ad and we set up a meet up for me and her and DJ and Mattie... That was Friday night...

I asked if I could take her home for a trial run weekend... The Lady agreed and so Mattie came home with us.. and there she will remain. She has been so perfect that I can't believe my good fortune... She is amazingly gentle with DJ and super calm in the house (and blessedly house broken). We took her with us hiking and she did so very well.. after I took her off the leash she always came back when I called her and she got along very well with other dogs in the group and the ones we met along the trail...

She has been a gem! she has bonded already with me and DJ and she is a very sociable girl... I am so excited to have a canine companion again... I forgot how much it means to me...

Ok on to other things....

The PS3 is going to have to wait until I get a new TV... apparently my 10 year old monster just isn't compatible... Hooray!! an excuse to buy a new TV!

Oh... here is a good one...

So Jen asked me and EZ to go with her to Sunday services at the UU(Unitarian Universalist) congregation.. I went but EZ stayed home to sleep. Apparently Jen and her husband (both of extremely different faiths) are trying to find a compromise. The UU seems like their best bet... They have been to a couple of services before... and then again on Sunday... but they just aren't sure if its for them... why? Because it seems that every service they have been to hasn't been focused on spirituality but more on the agenda of the church...

I came away from the service with the same impression... its was all about when the General Assembly (GA) and the District Assembly (DA) where going to be and where and what would be going on... then it was about the fundraising they were doing, and yada yada yada... there was one small part that was called "Why the UU is like the Olive Garden" (when you're here you're family) it was minutely spiritual but even that ended on a GA/DA note...

I was very disappointed. I have been trying to help my mom find her spiritual path (cause damn she needs one!). I thought maybe the open mindedness of the UU would be good... but not if all the services are like the one I attended... And according to Jen they are...

ok mini-update time:
Online dating sucks ass(blog coming soon)
Jay* still hasn't called
Bob* can't help but make an ass of himself and make me feel bad about myself... (he doesn't mean it he just doesn't think of me as being a girl with girl feelings)
EZ is still totally cool
Charlie* drives me batty sometimes

so that's about it... Not much else to talk about... Oh I'm still crazy over Bruce*. It seems there some places I can't go and some things I can't do because just the thought of them makes me burst into tears... Thanks alot asshole for fucking me up in the head... sigh... the next guy has one helluva job before him...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.