Are you a broken hearted fool?
Do you want a shoulder to cry on but no expectations?
Would you like to make a girl fall in love with you and then make her your friend?
Are you in need of a female pressence that you can walk all over and still she smiles like you walk the earth as a living god?
Well have I got a deal for you!
I have here a genuine, one of a kind, best female friend!
She does everything:
Compliments you on every aspect of your life
Supports you when you make stupid desicions
Tells you how lucky any woman would be to have you, but doesn't pressure you to date her.
She has a shoulder made of rust proof steel
If you act right now we'll even throw in a fragile emotional state that won't ever be blamed on you even though she cries everytime you get off the phone with her.
And as a bonus offer we will include unlimited dirty text messaging.
But you had better act quickly this offer is only good for an eternity.