Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Poetic Verse and how I really feel about Bruce

Well. Wasn't I surprised when Bruce* accepted my invitation to join me and EZ for any evening of poetry.

Every Tuesday EZ and I go to a little place called ReJAVAnate for their open mic poetry reading. EZ doesn't go for the poetry, she goes to support me and to drink coffee. I go to try out my new stuff and to work on my performance. My beginning in the poetry world was with a slam venue. I learned how to perform as a slam poet. However this is not the only way. I am learning this, slowly. I have to learn how to slow down and how to put more emotion in my voice. Actually I am pretty good at putting angry, hurt, jaded emotion in my voice (the slam poet in me). Now I am working on really laying my soul bare and showing people how my poetry really affects me... that is some scary shit.

Oh yeah back to Bruce*.

So being me and wanting to spend as much time was possible with the Bruce-Man, I asked if he would like to come and watch. In case you had forgotten, Bruce* is also a poet, but he has never gotten up and spit. (that is slam slang for "read your poetry out loud to an audience") I want him to come and maybe get the performance bug like I have... then EZ won't be coming for just me. (thanks EZ!!)

Bruce* is a little bummed that Steve* has to work and can't come (those two are like peas in a pod). But he agreed to come. And not only did he agree to come he agreed to pick me up! (100% bonafide sweetie) I spent the evening trying to concetrate on my poetry, which is not easy to do when all I want to do is crawl into Bruce's lap and kiss him senseless. EZ and Bruce* play a game of scrabble on EZ's IPhone. I till her all the time that it isn't as cool as she thinks it is... but i'm lying it is. They at least take the time out to watch me and cheer for me. And all three of us, between rounds of scrabble and performance, keep Steve* updated through text messages.

After the last of the patrons is swept out the door, we mosey over to what has become our regular Tuesday-after-poetry spot. Its a nice little bar called Ichabod's. They play jazz music and have comfy seating and the bartender remembers what we like to drink. You can't really beat that. We order, we eat. We laugh. Bruce* teases me because it is fairly obvious that the waiter (who is cute) has a little crush on me.

One the one hand I am not annoyed by Bruce* doing this because I know he is trying to emphasize that fact that we are "friends". But I do wish he would just give it up already. I get it buddy! I know that you don't want any PDA becuase you still aren't sure were you want this thing between us to go. I know that you (sort of) regret having sex after we agreed to wait, even if you do deny that you regret it. I am a "live in the moment" kind of girl. I plan for the future but I live in the moment. Right now the moment I want to live in revolves very closely around Bruce*.

This does not mean I want to get married *shudder* nor does it mean that I am tying myself down to him. It simply means that I am enjoying his company and want to enjoy it as often as possible. It means that I want to sit in his lap and kiss him senseless in the middle of my new poetry venue. It means I want to sneak a kiss from him every opportunity I can; in public, in private, in front of my sister, in front a perfect stranger, I don't care. Just plant those sweet lips on mine and make me forget the rest of the world for just a minute.

Now there are 2 reasons that Bruce is the only guy I am dating right now:

#1 I really like him. This is the most important reason. I can see this going somewhere. It scares the crap out of me, but what the heck, I have played it safe in the past and look were it got me.... (To be honest I like Bruce about 700 times more that I ever did Charlie*)

#2 There really isn't anyone else interested in "dating" me. I have not stopped crusing my internet sites just because I am "seeing" Bruce*. He made it very clear that he wanted to date other people. Which is fair. I have no claim on him. But it seems that all the other guys I meet (both online and off) just want a quick one night stand, or a regular f*ck buddy. This isn't what I want, so that leaves me crusing the sites shooting off a hundred emails a week with little to no response.

The evening ended with Bruce* taking me home and kissing me. It was a nice kiss but it wasn't what I'd had in mind. Well onward we trek.

This weekend the tentative schedule is this:
Friday night - Stay over at Bruce's (Spanky owes me an evening of babysitting)
Saturday - Go to the "Bite of Las Vegas" food and music festival with Bruce, Spanky, EZ, My dad, My son, and Steve (if we can pull him away from his job), hey who knows maybe we'll get Sparky to come too!
Sunday - BB-Q with dad and Spanky to celebrate my son's 3rd Birthday! YAY LITLTE MAN! his b-day is actually on Monday,but everyone has to work.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

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