Exit Stage Left

Now I have been on A LOT of first dates. Some good, some bad, some confusing. But I can honestly say I have never been on a truly horrible first date... well I there was a time when I could say that... now I can say I have been on a horrible first date.

Henceforth in this blog this particular D-bag shall be referred to as: "Mr. My-way-or-the-highway" [Mr. MWOTH]

So we met after a monday night football game... ok he was watching football and I was watching the two hour season premier of "House" (Hugh Laurie I love you!).

We met at a park and were going to throw the old pigskin around... but when we got there it was two windy. I suggested that we walk along the path that winds around the park. Its level and short I figured we could do a couple of laps and talk.

The following conversation happened at the very beginning of our date... hell I was barely out of the Jeep. I should have known better.

Him: "are all those yours?" (referring to the stickers on my jeep)
Me: "Yeah. Why?"
Him: "Your really into Girl-power"
Me: "Yup I believe in being a strong woman"
Him: "What is a weak woman? What is a strong woman? I don't think there is a difference."
Me: "Well sure there is.. there are different definitions for different points of view, I consider myself a strong woman because I am ok with my sexuality and my femininity and I don't let people walk all over me" (the exception to this is my baby sister and my son but I didn't tell him that)
Him: "Well your wrong there is no such thing a strong woman"

He argued with me about everything! Everything I said was wrong, hell even the stickers on the back of my jeep were wrong!

When we started I turned to walk clockwise around the park... he says "What are you doing?"
Me: "um... walking around the park"
Him: "Yeah but your going the wrong way, everyone always walks counter-clockwise. I never want to walk clockwise along the path because it makes you look different"
Me: "oh... I always walk clockwise. I don't really care how I look to other people"
Him: "Why would you do that?"
Me: "Well because its a natural direction for me to walk. Clockwise is traditionally called sun-wise because its the path the Sun travels, it's believed to be the sacred path by many ancient religions"
Him: "oh, like who"
Me: "well the Ancient Egyptians and the Sumerians"
Him: "Are they really THAT ancient?"
Me: "um yeah, they were the beginnings of civilization"
Him: "Well I think your wrong about that"

Many of our conversations went like this. Every time I made a personal comment and even if I backed it up with solid evidence he told me I was wrong.... Even my personal opinions were wrong.. Since when has a personal opinion ever been wrong? there is a resaon its called a PERSONAL opinion.

After our single lap around the park (he was huffing and puffing) we sat down, and started talking but very simple stuff. I figured it would keep the arguing down... boy howdy was I ever wrong. We started talking about flowers and I mentioned that that I would not be as excited to get a dozen roses as I would be to get a single blossom of my fave flower.

Him: "So you wouldn't appreciate the gesture?"
Me: "Well yeah but not as much as I would if a guy hunted down a single blossom of my fave"
Him: "But it's the thought that counts"
Me: "sure if there is some thought in it, it doesn't take much thought to pick up a dozen red roses"

We argued for almost ten minutes along this vein of conversation...

Him: "it doesn't matter if you like them, it matters if I appreciate the gift I'm giving you"
Me: *stunned silence, jaw hangs open* sputter.... hambearssasa? "Dude that's like getting a girl who doesn't bowl a bowling ball because YOU like to watch bowling on tv"
Him: "You can compare bowling balls to roses, they're not even the same thing"
Me: *stunned silence, jaw hangs open* thinking to myself he doesn't get it, he really has no clue that its not about what the gift is....
Him: "So you wouldn't like it if we were walking along and I saw a pretty flower and picked it for you?"
Me: "that's not what I am saying at all... that would be..."
Him: interrupting me "Yes that is exactly what you are saying"
Me: "You know what I'm done here, I'm going to head home now. Have a nice night"

At this point I got up and walked away without even looking back. I can't tell you what his reaction was because I didn't stick around. Where did this guy come from? Is he for fucking real? Where do people learn these crazy things? Am I wrong?

You know what I don't care what he thinks.. All of his arguments were based on what he thinks... Nothing I said was right because he didn't agree with me, and since he didn't agree with me I must be wrong.

I'm not saying he's wrong, he's just not on the same wavelength as I... and seriously... I can't ever see myself with a guy who would tell me that everything I think is wrong... after all I am a strong woman.
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Hindu or Buddhist?

The alternate title to this is "Here a little, there a little, everywhere a little dig"

There are some people I know who like to think that they are Buddhists... I say like to "think" because modern Americans can never be true Buddhists. There are a plethora of reasons for this. too many to list. I'm not saying that you can't live by the Buddhist ideals, I'm just saying that to become a true Buddhist is out of the reach of most people (we're just WAY to materialistic).

Now the reason for this rant....

A lot of these wannabe Buddhists will end their conversations with "namaste". Like this makes them authentic or something.... it grates on my very very very last nerve... mostly because they have no idea what it means... they say it because "everyone else does".... grrrrrrrrrrrr

so without further ado:

na.ma.ste [nuhm-uh-stey]
~noun
a conventional Hindu expression on meeting or parting, used by the speaker usually while holding the palms together vertically in front of the bosom.

did you get that? ITS FUCKING HINDU!!!! as a matter of fact its the HINDU equivalent of "aloha" it has absolutely no religious meaning whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!

So not only is it NOT a religious term, its not even a fucking Buddhist term... As a matter of fact the etymology of the word is as such:

"salutatory gesture," 1948, from Hindi, from Skt. namas "bowing" + te, dat. of tuam "you" (sing.). Used as a word of greeting from 1967.

JEEZUS H CHRISTO its not even an "ancient word" its probably something some damn hippie decided to use to make himself look cool.... now its being used by a bunch of new age hippies to make them look cool.... and they don't even know why they are using it....

fucking ass monkeys need to pull your heads out of the proverbial sand and start doing your own research... stop doing what "everyone else is doing" and start being your own person...

oh how I hate hippies

Crap its got a name...

Main Entry:	polyamorous
Part of Speech:	adj
Definition:	pertaining to partipation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships

So apparently I am in a polyamorous relationship. Check it out on wikipedia. So weird. I never thought to find myself in one. Its not 100% fulfilling for me. I want that traditional man and woman monogamy thing.

How do I feel about this? I really don't know. On the one hand I very much care for DeveloperD, but on the other... lets just say I'm selfish and want him all to myself. This is never going to happen.

I could possibly be accused of using this relationship to fulfill my needs until I find "the one". So what if I am? is it really a big deal? No one is getting hurt. We all know what we are doing. We're consenting adults.

my normally jealous side is getting quite the workout. I have had to learn to keep the beast under a very strict control. I am very impressed with myself. You should be to! hell if this were a normal relationship and I found out my sigfig was banging some other broad.. well after I got done slicing her into very small pieces and feeding them to my dog, I'd cut his nuts off and make him eat them...

See you should be proud. I have not had any serious homicidal urges lately.

ahem

yeah

so well... I'm still dating other people. if you can call what I do dating... jeez its usually more like I date other people... most guys never call back after the first date.... sigh

I better not be stuck with this poly shit. its not really my cup of tea. It'll do for now, but its not going to be a long term thing. Even if I don't find someone to get serious with anytime soon, I can't say how much longer I'll be doing this. its very emotionally draining, and mentally as well.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Happy Belated Anniversary

One Year ago (plus a few days) I posted my first blog on here. Lots of seriously crazy shit has been documented on these hallowed pages. Everything from my relationship to Bruce* to the various crazy dates I have been on. I haven't been as diligent as I would have liked in the last few months, but I am going to try and rectify that.

Remember that long ago thing... Charlie? Well we're still friends, but we never went on a that second date... as a matter of fact I've only seen him four times in the last year(if you include our first date) and one of those times was to help him move.

If you've read the previous two posts you would know that I'm in a strange kind of relationship with DeveloperD. I still don't know where its going, but we shall see.

My Son is flourishing in special ed... his speech is so much better now. His gross motor skills need some more improvement, but they are better than before.

I started my own business... Eventually I'll get the website up and then I'll blog about that too.

I have decided that dating is for the birds and I've got wings... no matter how often I say "THAT'S IT! I give up, I'm never dating again" I always end up going back to check my stupid profiles. Hell I've even posted an ad on cragslist....

The crazy thing is.... sometimes its all worth it.

The one and only GeoDude, Super Hot Geologist guy, has finally moved away... not too far just further north in the state, but I doubt I'll be seeing him ever again. Last time I saw him was in a parking lot where he was bringing me back MY PS3 after weeks of me leaving messages on his phone and sending texts wondering where the hell he is and If I was going to be getting it back... needless to say my precious is now at home and hot from all the Oblivion and Legos Batman that have been pumped into in the last few days...

Life is generally good, like everyone else I have my ups and downs.

I've finally officially "gotten over" Bruce. Which basically means that I no longer have a minor heart attack every time he is mentioned in conversation (which disturbingly enough happens a lot lately). I am happy to report though that through some great info I've gotten recently I have found out that all those trips to the GYM for him have worked out... looks like he's put on about 20 more pounds of "lazy fat guy plays video games" weight... HAHAHAHA I am just evil enough to be totally stoked that I m losing weight and getting so much hotter than when he and I dated, meanwhile he is putting on the pounds and looking more and more like the bodacious loser he is.

soo... ok that was totally a jaded ex gf rant.... LOL

Well now that's all over with. The year has been interesting to say the least... I'm looking forward to another year of craziness... not really. I hope that by this time next year I can say that I am in a stable committed relationship and happy. Keep your fingers crossed....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

What would you call it?

Ok so last week I talked about DeveloperD and the strange relationship we're in. We're dating each other and sleeping together, but we're not serious.

We're not supposed to be serious.... however if viewed from the outside you would say we are serious... like exclusive serious... except we're not.

Its like this: We see each other more than once a week, we have not only met each others kids but the kids have met each other. He has three of the most beautiful children! his daughter is going to be a very major babe when she hits puberty! Our kids play together at least once a week, usually on weekends.

Man oh man... I have fallen for his kids too. They are great, a little undisciplined but still very charming and devilishly smart.

He recently moved into a new place. I helped him move. I helped him unpack. I have been helping him decorate. I have my own key to his place and the neighbors recognize my car. He's met most of my family, and I've met his ex wife.

Most of the time when I'm spending the night, its on the weekend.. (if you can add a previous paragraph to this sentence you get a very interesting sum) Yes my son and I spend weekends with him and his kids. We over night with the kids... it was a little awkward in the beginning.. oh who am I kidding its still a little awkward, but everyone is getting used to it.

Now I must reiterate that we are not exclusive, we are not "serious", we are probably never going to be labeled as "boyfriend and girlfriend". But I'm not sure what you would call us... "Friends" well yes we are, "Lovers" oh definitely... somehow I don't think any traditional labels will ever fit us.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

How the hell did I end up here?

Sooooo it seems like I haven't made a real post in a while... I guess I should catch you all up real quick...

Went on lots of dates
Met lots of D-bags
Did a lot of things
Dealt with lots of drama

Now in all my dating I came across a guy that I call DeveloperD. He's smart, funny, single... and AMAZING in the sack. Mind blowing really.... He's been spectacular. There is just one problem. A few weeks ago I found myself starting to fall for him... from the very beginning he's been honest about not wanting to get into anything serious. I thought I was ok with that... until I found myself falling for him....

Originally the plan was to back off and just be friends. No more physical intimacy. That would haven been ok. I could have done that easily if not for one thing. He is the most amazing lover. HOLY SHIT just thinking about what he does to me makes me weak in the knees.

Now being the very weak (extremely horny) person I am I gave in to my carnal desires and have gone back to sleeping with him. OMG its amazing.

Now I find myself in a place I never thought I would be. I am dating and sleeping with a guy that I know will never be permanent. I happen to know that he is seeing two other women. It just happens that I am personally acquainted with one of them. I laid down some very specific rules for him. The number one being that I would NEVER be the "sloppy second". He has been very good at that one.

Now I figured that since he was honest with me, he would be honest with the other two as well. I am very careful when I spend the night to remove every trace of me. Except for the left overs (I cook when I stay over) you would never know that I was there. Now I was hoping for the same courtesy from the other two.... somehow I think that they aren't as courteous as I am.

The other day as I was preparing to take a shower at DeveloperD's I was laying my stuff out on the bed. There was some recently washed clothes sitting on the bed... among them... a pair of womens panties. sigh.... can you believe that?? One of those stupid bitches left her panties. this is just one of the reasons I don't wear panties. now I am just as pissed that Mr. DeveloperD left them out for me to see. I do take comfort that they are not very sexy, oh they tried but failed miserably. At least when I wear panties they are SEXY... I do mean sexy...

Now I'm wondering if I should talk to the woman I know... tell her its not cool. that if we are all going to be doing this we need to be courteous to one another. Or maybe I should just fight fire with fire... or maybe... just maybe I should let it go. After all I did know what I was getting into when I decided to continue seeing him....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.