New Year's Resolutions

So I have been contemplating what my Resolutions will be this next year. I have been (slowly) this year working on reorganizing my life. Mostly because one day I woke up and my son was three (or going to be) and I knew I wasn't setting a very good example. Complete Chaos reigned. I started out small... Cleaning my house and reorganizing things. I tossed about 6 bags worth of crap and donated at least 3 boxes of stuff every other day for 2 weeks. And I am still not done. I tried to quit smoking but I chose the week from hell to do it and so was not successfull... (but I am going to try again...)

My next step in the great (ongoing) transformation of myself was to start dating again. This blog started out as a way to begin tracking my progress in that field. I got really lucky and have found the man who could very well be "The One". Which is a little scary but I have been playing it safe for far too long.

So as I pondered all the begining steps from this year I finally came up with my Resolutions for next year:

1. I am going to stop smoking (this is the biggie so keep your fingers crossed for me)
2. I am going to finish reorganizing my house (this relates to the final resolution)
3. I am going to find new homes for two of my three cats (this one breaks my heart a little bit but keep reading to find out why I am doing it)
4. I am going to loose 50 lbs (this should be the easiest one becuase I lost 60 lbs this year)
5. I am going to be squared away so that I can move.

Explanation of number 5:
hmmm how do I explain this. I currently own my house. Which is cool, especially since I own it out right. But then it is just a mobile home. I still pay a lot rent for the land my house sits on, but everything inside those 4 metal walls is mine (except for my ex's stuff). My ex still lives with me because I can't afford to live with out him. The economy bust has hit us pretty hard here in Vegas. I am going a little crazy living with him, but I know that I can not afford to live on my own. I have come up with a pretty good solution though. If I sell my house (sniff) I can move into the public housing which is just down the street. I do after all qualify for every dang aide program in Nevada. From the proceeds of the sale of my house I can purchase a car (which I desperatley need in this city) and begin saving money for a down payment on a real house (with a foundation and everything!).

There is another option. One that may not ever happen but I am going to prepare for just in case. (secretly its the option I would prefer). I could move in with Bruce. Well no into his place but into a different place (probably a house). Not my place because I am still going to be selling it.

The reason why resoltuion number 2 realtes to number 5:
I refuse to move all this crap again. I need to slim things down because if I move into public housing I will not have the space that I have now, and if I move in with Bruce* there is no way the two of us will even fit into a normal house with all the crap I have.

The reason why resoltuion number 3 realtes to number 5:
It will be easier to get into public housing with one cat instead of three and Bruce is allergic to cats. If I get my own place it will be easier for him to stay over more often with only one kitty in the house and if I move in with him the same principle applies.

I have been looking for inspiriations to keep me going on this trek of life changes. Here are some of the ones I have found so far:

These were orginially post over at Laughing Purple Goldfish. She credits them to Robert Louis Stevenson. I liked them so much I am reposting there here.:

• Make up your mind to be happy.
• Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
• Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.
• Don't take yourself too seriously.
• Don't let criticism worry you. You can't please everybody.
• Don't let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.
• Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
• Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.
• Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
• Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about places.
• Don't hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
• Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
• Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.

Next up are Ghandi's seven deadly sins. These were introduced to me by EZ.

• Wealth without Work
• Pleasure without Conscience
• Science without Humanity
• Knowledge without Character
• Politics without Principle
• Commerce without Morality
• Worship without Sacrifice

And finally Maslow's pyramid of self actualization. Steve* told me to look this up one day when I was feeling kind of low. SO I did...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

A contest!

I have decided to try a weekly contest... Begining on January 5th every monday for 8 weeks I am going to post a picture.. Something cute and fuzzy, but ultimately hilarious. It is your mission, if you choose to accept it, to come up with the most perfect caption for that picture. You can post a comment with your submission or Email it to me: poetrysue@gmail.com

I will post that weeks winner on the following monday (I.E. if you win the contest for the week of the 5th your recognition will come to you on the 12th)

Anyway... Tell your friends and neighbors! Tell your blogginig buddies! Tell your co-workers and the bum sitting next to you at the cafe!

Each week the winner will be recognized with a cool digital reward certificate (nothing fancy, just something I doodle up on the computer), and at the end of the contest there will be a grand prize.

The person with the most wins will get a one of a kind, hand crocheted something or other.... I will leave the final prize up to the winner.

In the event that there is a tie. I will email those people with a final picture for them to get creative with captioning... then you the readers will choose.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Any questions?

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Happy Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa is a week-long holiday celebrated throughout the world, honoring African heritage, marked by participants lighting a kinara (candle holder).[1] It is observed from December 26 to January 1 each year.

Kwanzaa celebrates what its founder called "The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa", or Nguzo Saba (originally Nguzu Saba - "The Seven Principles of Blackness"), which Karenga said "is a communitarian African philosophy" consisting of what Karenga called "the best of African thought and practice in constant exchange with the world." These seven principles comprise Kawaida, a Swahili term for tradition and reason. Each of the seven days of Kwanzaa is dedicated to one of the following principles, as follows:

Umoja (Unity) To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.

Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.

Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems and to solve them together.

Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Nia (Purpose) To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Kuumba (Creativity) To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Imani (Faith) To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

Information is courtest of Wikipedia

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Merry Christmas

Christmas (IPA: /krɪsməs/), also referred to as Christmas Day or Christmastide, is an annual holiday celebrated on December 25 that marks and honors the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. His birth, which is the basis for the Anno Domini system of dating, has been determined by modern historians as having occurred between 7 and 2 BC. The date of celebration is not thought to be Jesus' actual date of birth, and may have been chosen to coincide with ancient Roman solar festivals that were held on December 25.

Modern customs of the holiday include gift-giving, church celebrations, and the display of various decorations—including the Christmas tree, lights, mistletoe, nativity scenes and holly. Santa Claus (also referred to as Father Christmas, although the two figures have different origins) is a popular mythological figure often associated with bringing gifts at Christmas. Santa is generally believed to be the result of a syncretization between St. Nicholas of Myra and elements from pagan Nordic and Christian mythology, and his modern appearance is believed to have originated in 19th century media.

Christmas is celebrated throughout the Christian population, but is also celebrated by many non-Christians as a secular, cultural festival. The holiday is widely celebrated around the world, including in the United States, where it is celebrated by 96% of the population. Because gift-giving and several other aspects of the holiday involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, Christmas has become a major event for many retailers.*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Even Good guys get Mean sometimes

So I met Bruce's* Mom and step dad last night... They are pretty cool.

The story is a long one so I'll shorten it to this:
They were supposed to be here Saturday night and because of crappy service and crappy weather on the east coast they did not get here till Sunday mid-morning. After we rescued their luggage and lost a coat at the car rental place. We all set off for the hotel for a late lunch, then we headed out to the Outlet Mall (one of many in Vegas) for some shopping...

(hmm need a catchy name for Mom....)

Bruce's mom needed to get a new coat. While there they decided that Bruce needed new shoes. so we headed to the sketcher's store where Bruce got 2 new pairs of tennis shoes and a new pair of work boots. I sat back and watched the hilarity of Bruce trying on a million pair of shoes while both his mom and his step dad brought a million more for him... He settled on a pair that I liked (very cool dark blue and gray) and a pair he liked (looks exactly like the blue ones only black and beige) and some black leather work boots.

Bruce is sometimes a little evil. and while his mom is within visual range but out of earshot he makes plenty of sexual innuendos. My face lights up like Rudolph's nose in heavy fog conditions. I caught her looking at us a few times and I'm certain she knows exactly what was going on.

During the process his mom offers to buy me a pair of the fuzzy slippers I had been eyeballing. I declined. I am a little uncomfortable with other people buying me stuff (especially people I have only known for a little less than 6 hours). Plus I am the kind of person that hates to impose and since she is here to see Bruce, I would have felt like a cad having her buy me shoes. Oh yeah lets also add I'm completely neurotic about what other people think of me and I NEVER want anyone to think of me as a girl who is all about the things I can get. I am not but I have been accused of it so many times that now I go out of my way (sometimes even making people mad at me) to try to make sure that people know I am not materialistic.

But somehow She ended up buying my son a pair of shoes that light up and kind of look like fire engines. He's going to love them! I may have a problem with people buying stuff for me, but I don't have a problem with people buying stuff for my son. Heck I'll even take their money and put it into his college fund. My son is numero uno.

PS. DJ spent the day with his dad so Mom and Step-dad haven't met the little guy yet.

After we get them all settled into their hotel room for the evening Bruce and I go to dinner (we are starving). And Bruce tells me that I am the first girlfriend who has declined his mom's ever generous offer to buy them something. He thinks that says something about my personality. I wish I knew what that is....

WARNING!!

There is blatant sexual innuendo in the following bit

This morning starts out ok, Bruce and I are texting back and forth...
...wait...
Let me set this up. His mom a good church going woman who thinks her son should shave two or three times a day (he has 5-o'clock shadow by noon) and made him change his jacket while they were getting the rental car because she was afraid they wouldn't rent a car to them. I think its all very cute, very 1950's mom. Sometimes it gets on His nerves (don't all mom's?).

He sends me this little gem this morning:

Bruce: "she started about the shaving... yes mom, i know mom, i will mom... haha"
Me: "LOL did you tell her I like the way it feels when your unshaven face is buried between my legs while you chow down on my taco?"
Bruce: "Ya... she said she did not need 2 know that..."
Me: "LOL... no you didn't"
Bruce: "... as she reads the text out loud as I drive.."
Me: "OMG! I'm a putz... holy smokes... you think my face was red last night... oh jeez i'm going to go bury myself in a dark cave till next year"
Bruce "U... I am now trying 2 explain taco
Me: "LOL just forget I exist..."
Bruce: "she said see sue likes when u r clean shaven"
Me: "Sure... I do... I'm so putting this in my blog"
Bruce: "at the end of blog put... Early april fools"
Me: "you are evil sometimes..."

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Happy Hanukkah

Hanukkah (Hebrew: חנוכה‎, alt. Chanukah), also known as the Festival of Lights, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, and may occur from late November to late December on the Gregorian calendar.

The festival is observed by the kindling of the lights of a special candelabrum, the Menorah or Hanukiah, one light on each night of the holiday, progressing to eight on the final night. An extra light called a shamash, (Hebrew: "guard" or "servant") is also lit each night, and is given a distinct location, usually higher or lower than the others. The purpose of the extra light is to adhere to the prohibition, specified in the Talmud (Tracate Shabbat 21b-23a), against using the Hanukkah lights for anything other than publicizing and meditating on the Hanukkah story. (The shamash is used to light the other lights.)

Information is courtesy of Wikipedia

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Yuletide Greetings

Yule is a winter festival identified with Christmas in modern times. The pagan Germanic peoples celebrated Yule from late December to early January on a date determined by the lunar Germanic calendar. When the Julian calendar was adopted in northern Europe, Yule was placed on December 25 to correspond with the date of Christmas.
The word "Yule" come from the same root as the word "jolly." Modern Yule traditions include decorating a fir or spruce tree, burning a Yule log, hanging mistletoe and holly branches, giving gifts, and general celebration and merriment.




In most Wiccan traditions, Yule is celebrated as the rebirth of the Great God, who is viewed as the newborn solstice sun. The method of gathering for this sabbat varies by group or individual practitioner. Some have private ceremonies at home, while others hold coven celebrations

Information is courtesy of Wikipedia

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The Mom test

Are you a super mom? I think I am. But I would not be one without the aid of my super mom and my spectacular sister.

here is how the week went:
Monday - normal but hectic at work because I was off the Friday before... and we all know how that goes..

Tuesday - Read all about it here. I was stressed out and anxious by the time I got to work...

Wednesday - DJ wakes up with his left eye swollen shut. I call in to work and make an appointment with his pediatrician. My mom happens to be off that day and offers to drive us to the doc. Well she really doesn't have a choice, I don't have a car right now and my doc is all the way across town. We get the first appointment. Dr. M walks in takes one look at his eye and says "Conjunctivitis". Its a chest cold that has spread to his eye. So he checks his ears, because if there is infection in the eye... there is infection in the ears... and yup.. little guy is infected in both ears... and he's not even running a fever!!! So we are released with a prescription for Amoxicilin (which he has had for ear infections before) and some eye drops called Vigamox. My mom offers to watch DJ for the rest of the day so that I can go back to work. She also offers to pick up his meds if I can pay her back. They turn out to be $45.00. I'm at work and get a call on my cell from mom. Apparently the eye drops burn. She had to sit on him to put them in....

Bruce picks me up from work and we go to my mom's for cookie baking and Meatloaf.. yummy. Everyone has a good time.... except for the 10 mins it took to put Dj's eye drops in...
And it snowed!!! You can see the aftermath of our record snowfall Here and Here

Thursday - Seemed to be a normal day... everything started out ok. Eye drops went in. Antibiotics went in... DJ goes to school and I go to work... After work I go back to my mom's so she can help me put more eye drops in. DJ likes taking his antibiotics so this goes down easy. then she asks me to bake some pecan cookies... no biggie. I bake, DJ watches Cartoons, Mom does laundry, and Sparky, who came over, watches cartoons with DJ. Dj has a cookie from the first batch of pecan cookies... and about 20 mins later he begins itching... this is no alarm because he has eczema so he is always itchy. but when I take his shirt off to put him into his jammies (we are staying the night at mom's she can help with eye drops in the morning) I find that he has a few hives on his tummy and arms, and in less than 2 minutes right before my eyes he goes from a few to covered.... OMG!!! its the beginning stages of anaphalaxis... I know this because both Myself and my sister have gone through it before. So the three of us gather DJ up and hop into the car. on the way I call his dad and tell him what is going on and that I need money for DJ's ER copay ($100!!!). and I ask if he wants to come... its no surprise that he doesn't and that he is begrudging me asking for the money. Since Baby Daddy is on the way to the hospital we swing by and get the money. I ask again "Are you sure you don't want to come with?" "Yeah I'd rather just sleep" (fuck head).

So we get the ER and are rushed in to the back... My adrenalin is pumping. I'm sweating in the 28 degree weather. DJ is running around, covered in hives with his tongue starting to swell, acting like an airplane. The ER doc walks in looks at the hives and says "that's an amoxicilin rash"
Oh yeah my kid has developed an allergy to amoxicilin. the most commonly prescribed antibiotic on the market. So they give DJ some steroids and antihistamines. Keep him for observation for an hour and send us home. They whole time we are there DJ acts like he is at a friends house playing. he hides behind curtains and plays peek-a-boo, He babbles to every person who walks in the door, and he continues to act like an airplane.

SO I take him and my mom and Sparky home to drop them off so that they can go to sleep while I go fill the new prescriptions. This time the money came from EZ, she loaned me $40 so I could get them. She is a great Auntie!!

I finally get home and into bed (my mom's house on the futon). its 1 am.

Which brings us to Friday: My alarm goes off at 5:30 am (yeah it sucks). I get up and start getting everything going for the day. Baby Daddy doesn't call... ever, instead he sends me a text message at 7 am.... I know he has been up since 5 am...

ugh I am so not stressing about this right now. Tonight DJ and I are going over to Bruce's house. His mom will be in town TOMORROW night. so this will probably be the last night for a week that I will get to spend with him... I am planning on doing nothing more than cuddling with the two most important guys in my life and watching movies.... maybe eat some popcorn or something...


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

More Snow!!

Nothing says Christmas in Vegas like this picture!!! except maybe the Luxor covered with sonw!Another shot from the door WOW!! I love Snow!!
I really love the Snow!!!

Yes I love Snow!! I grew up in areas where snow did not fall often (except that year welive in OKC) So I love the snow. I have never had to shovel a walkway or dig my car out so pfft to those of you who have!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

I'm dreaming of a white... slot machine!

Holy Crap!!!
Its snowing in vegas. I know that for most of you this isn't a big deal... and usually every winter it does get wet here, but rarely do we see snow in the valley. It has snowed twice here this week... but becuase of the geography of the valley I haven't seen the snow yet this year... well low and behold it is snowing at my work today. At the request of my boss and EZ I took pictures and am posting them here to my blog.... THIS IS AWESOME!!

The snow as it looks from our door

The Snow on my head!!! The Snow on a co-worker's car! The Snow on the Ground!!The Snow in the air!!*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

DJ and the specialists

In October My son had his 3 year well check visit. You can read all about it here.

Well the result of that visit was a referral to a bunch of specialists to determine if he had some sort of developmental disorder.

Today was the visit.. it started out like this:

a very grandma looking lady walks into the waiting area and introduces herself, then takes DJ's hand and takes him to some mysterious back room to "play". I'm left standing in the hall way holding my son's jacket, watching their retreating backs. I'm standing there wondering if I should be following or if I should be standing here or going into a room... the Grandma comes back and takes me into what looks like a conference room. there she sits me down and pulls out a stack of papers.... I'm still in shock that some woman I don't know from Adam walked off with my son then came back without him!

She begins asking me questions, and more questions and more questions... all the while making little circles in her packet... and saying things like hmmm and ahh

WTF ok take it easy this lady is a professional. Then like a pair of fighters in a WWF team match she is tagged out by another Lady who takes up where she left off asking questions (how many times are they going to ask me if he's potty trained?). Grandma leaves while lady #2 asks questions.

in the middle of all this a packet has appeared in front of me as well. I am supposed to be filling this out. Lady #2 is doing the question and hmmm thing that Grandma was doing... also making little notes in her packet.... "likes the numbers 7, 8, and 9"

When my son (WHO IS ONLY 3!) counts he repeatedly uses "7 8 9" everything is counted as 7 8 9. It's one of his little idiosyncrasies. Then Grandma comes bursting in the door:
"You mentioned that he had an obsession with colors"
me:"well yeah"
"But I just went through colors and he can't name them"
me:"um well you see he likes to put things is groups according to color, and if you mess up his groups he completely freaks out until its fixed"
"ahhh hmmm ok thank you"

Grandma disappears. and Lady#2 resumes her questioning.....

Grandma comes back and says "He can't hop"
me:"no he loves to hop like a bunny and jump off things.. he does it all the time"
"Even when I gave him my hand for support he wouldn't hop on one foot"
me:"oh well... I've never seen him hop on one foot"
"And he doesn't skip... he just does that one foot shuffle"
Lady#2"hmmm" flips through a few pages in her packet and makes more circles
Grandma: "hmmmm" and leaves

Another tag switch. and Lady#3 comes in. She begins asking questions out of the little packet they keep handing to each other like Olympic runners in a baton relay. In between all of the questioning with Grandma, Lady#2 and Lady#3 Gopher Chick keeps comeing in with various papers for me to sign. In between the tag outs I get about 2 minutes to complete the monster packet they gave me... which is asking questions like "gets mad .... N S O A"
N = Never
S = Sometimes
O = Often
A = Almost always

WTF he's three! and I just told you he freaks if you put the blue crayon with the red crayons!! Wait did I tell that to Grandma or Lady#2... or was that the gopher Chick? I'm confused....

At some point between Lady#2 and Lady#3 DJ was brought back into the room. he is busy playing with every toy (and non toy) in the room. I am trying to answer the questions that Lady#3 has for me and keep him from blowing the place up. Somehow I got my packet done... but I am pretty sure I left a sweat stain on it....

Lady#3 reveals herself as the speech pathologist and gets up to leave, with my son in tow. I get up and follow her out the room...

"Oh would you like to come watch?"
me:"yeah I would"
"OK but I must ask that you remain very quiet while I am testing him.. please don't prompt him with the right words he has to do this by himself"
me:"um, ok"

we are led back to a very little room that has toys everywhere and lots of bright colors... I can see his little brain going into over drive... Lady#3 and I aren't even seated and he already has half the toys out and is handing them to me one at a time...

She has a little easel book with pictures she flips through and asks DJ questions. While she is doing this I see something that I as a parent never really noticed before... I mean I saw it, but I didn't see it.

My son is having a hard time paying attention to what is going on and sometimes it seems like he can't hear her.

So far every lady who has seen my son has had only two things to say:
"He seems to have a hard time staying focused and have you had is hearing checked yet?"

I kept brushing this off when they said it.. but now i am sitting here and tears are building behind my eyes, because the last time I saw a kid act like this was a few years ago... a friend of mine had a daughter who acted like DJ does... turned out she was partially deaf and getting worse...

oh holy crap...

The speech pathologist (aka Lady#3) had 3 things to say:

"He has a lot of sounds that he uses. He doesn't seem to stay focused. Have you had his hearing checked?"

Sweet moses...

So the evaluation finally comes to an end... and I am left with 4 things:
An appointment on January 13th for a meeting with all of the assessors about the results of their studies
A referral to have my son's hearing checked
A very tuckered out three-year old who thinks he just had the best time playing with a bunch of new people
A monkey on my shoulder screaming "YOUR SON IS GOING DEAF AND YOU SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT IT EARLIER"

I called the hearing testing place and guess when the soonest is they can get him in.. HA HA January 29th... how awesome is that...

Being a mom is not easy...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Christmas shopping

My shopping is almost done. I am so glad. I get one more check on the 24th and I guess I'll just have to deal with the crazies on the 24th and finish my shopping. at least the important people have been shopped for.

My mom and her boyfriend got tickets to TSO last month
My dad is getting his special boot socks and some wall texturizer (he's remodeling so he'll like it)
My dad's Girlfriend is getting some very pretty decorative boxes
My son is getting some wooden cars, a t-shirt, another figure in this group of middle ages figures he's collecting (yes I know he's three but he really likes them), a batman back pack, and the icing on the cake... a real acoustic guitar. He loves music and has become enamoured with the guitar so I got him one.
My sister is getting some stuff (there is a chance she'll read this so I'm not saying what)
And Bruce*.... I know he reads my blog so I'm not going to say what I got him. although I am all done shopping for him.

Speaking of Bruce...

TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY!
(warning this is going to get mushy)
Happy birthday love. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I love you. You are the bright spot in a dark room. You are the most thoughtful and considerate man I know. You are a big hearted and warm person. You are an amazing big brother. You are so generous and loving to everyone around you. You don't see how happy you make the people around you, but you do. Your funny and smart and sweet.

You are gorgeous both inside and out. When you smile I can see the sun. You make me feel beautiful and sexy. You are an amazing lover.

I am working a poem for you. I have been writting it for weeks now and just can seem to find the right words to express exactly how I feel. I hope that when I kiss you and hold you and tell you I love you, that you understand what I can't truly say.

Happy Birthday to you. May your next year be filled with happiness and may you have many more years.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thing about love is...

I am in love. Not that high school "if he doesn't call me I'm dumping his ass" love, but the "When I am sitting alone and the house is quiet all I want is for him to be sitting next to me" kind of love.

I feel amazing. I can take on the world there is nothing that can stand in my way. My mind is active and creative. My fingers want to fly accross the page bringin' my love to life in poetic verse. My lips twitch to spill those written verses into the universe of the spoken word.

But alas...

Everything I have started to write ends up sounding like an icing overload... too much sugar and not enough cake...


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

BLOGS!!!

So As some of you my regular readers know My best friend is EZ. She is smart and level headed. She keeps me inline when I get out of whack. She has helped me to keep from becoming a complete nutjob. Well She finally broke down and signed up here on Blogger. She has been regularly blogging on Myspace, but I find that blog to be a little restricting and after extolling on the virtues of blogger she got one.. and here it is:

EZ's Blog

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The Things we say...

Have you ever been inspired to write poetry by the simplest of words?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live a moment out of a fiction story?
Have you ever wished all those songs on the radio were about you?
Has your outlook on life ever been changed by something someone said?

Three syllables changed me. They made me see the world in a whole new light. They gave me hope and a happiness I never imagined. I am living a life a fiction, because reality can't be this good.

I was going to go for funny, but I can't. There is nothing funny about this. There is only a joy so serious it is scary....

Bruce* told me that he loves me.

He can say it when looking into my eyes, he can say it when we are standing in a parking lot while the sun is out, he can say it while my son watches him, and he can say it first.

He means it.

He says he loves me and he means it.

There is something magical when that happens. Something so profound that it can never be expressed in words.

I could keep going on and on and on and on and on about it.... but I won't bore you with it any more. Just remember that if you see a girl floating by with her head in the clouds and big cartoon hearts for eyes... that's probably me.

Oh yeah and just for you Bruce:
I love you so much that I can't tell you how much. Its a little scary but it's awesome at the same time. Never in all my life has my love been this pure for anyone other than my son. I have completely re-examined my outlook on marriage.... and I can see it with you. Not tomorrow, or even next year, but I can see it. Take your time adjusting to that. I know you and I love you. I don't know how or why or when, but I know I love you.

*names have been changed

Happy Eid al-Adha

Eid al-Adha (Arabic: عيد الأضحى ‘Īd ul-’Aḍḥā, Urdu: بقرعید) or the Festival of Sacrifice is a religious festival celebrated by Muslims and Druze worldwide in commemoration of the willingness of Ibrahim (Abraham) to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to Allah. The devil tempted Ibrahim by saying he should disobey Allah and spare his son. As Ibrahim was about to kill his son, Allah intervened: instead Allah provided a lamb as the sacrifice. This is why today all over the world Muslims who have the means to, sacrifice an animal, as a reminder of Ibrahim's obedience to Allah. The meat is then shared out with family and friends, as well as the poorer members of the community

Information is courtesy of Wikipedpia
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Random Questions and their answers

I actually got this off a bulletin post from one of myspace accounts. (I have three of them is sick and sad but then so am I)

Be recognized for saving 500 people's lives or be voted the no. 1 sexiest person in your country?
Saving 500 people

Have an alarm clock that wakes you by slowly making your bed ice cold or an alarm clock that wakes you by shaking your bed violently?
shaking violently the cold would never wake me up...

Run into a wall or fall down the stairs?
Run into a wall (I do it all the time anyway)

Be a pirate or be a ninja?
Ninja... They get special treatment

Be the no. 1 entertainer for 4 years or be president of the U.S?
No. 1 Entertainer.. first I could make more of an impact on society and I would make alot more money and never have to decide if we should go to war with another country...

Walk on the ocean floor or jump to the moon with moonboots?
Ocean

Be a superhero or be a super villan?
Superhero but only if I could be like a Batman

Be really creative or be really intelligent?
Creative (aren't I already both of these?)

Be able to fly or be able to turn invisible?
Fly... becuase then I would never be late to anything... no traffic to worry about!

Be super famous on YouTube or win 1 thousand dollars?
Right now I would go for the $1,000 but usually I would say YouTube

Have cookies and milk or juice and crackers?
Juice and crackers... gives you more options to play with

Go without watching TV for 2 weeks or without a computer for 2 weeks?
Tv... I hardly ever watch it anyway

Have a million friends that secretly hate you or have 1 best friend?
1 best friend

Live in hot weather for the rest of your life or cold weather for the rest of your life?
Ack I hate hot weather... give the frozen tundra anyday!! (ironic since I live in the middle of the mojave desert)

Take over the Playboy Mansion when Hugh Heffner dies or Win the Lottery?
Win the lottery.. although it would be tempting to have Heff's bunnies at my disposal... muwawawawa

Be a good singer or be a good dancer?
Good Singer.... Good dancers are a dime a dozen

Be a famous singer or be a famous actor/actress?
Famous Singer

Sleep with a celebrity of your choice or not have to work for 5 years?
dang... thats a tough question... I can't honestly answer that question... Mostly becuase if I did not have to work for 5 years... I would eventually get bored

Win 5 million dollars or find true love?
dang it!! another hard question... I guess True love

Live in a house on the water or live in a castle?
Live in a castle... I get seasick too easy

Be Jonny Depp's friend/girlfriend or have Jonny Depp's salary?
His salary

Be the same age forever or live to 100?
Live to 100... unless I'm going to get senile and incapacitated then I would want to be the same age forever

Become famous for having a meltdown on YouTube or never become famous?
LOL Never become Famous

Have lived in the 8th century or be born in the year 3000? (If the world still exists then)
In the year 3000

Be a mad scientist or a private invertigator?
Mad Scientist

Have rain for a year non-stop or have nothing but suns for a year non-stop?
Rain non-stop... I love the rain

Kill your own meal (meat) or become a vegetarian?
Kill.... I need meat to survive

Get stuck in an elevator for 34 hours or gain 15 pounds?
Elevator... It would be a great time to catch up on sleep

Be too hot with all your clothes off or too cold with a winter coat on?
Too cold... I hate being to hot

Be allergic to your favorite food or never find true love?
Allergic

Be a dinosaur or be a penguin?
Penguin (then my sister could have her very own real life penguin!)

Be trapped in a haunted house alone or alone on a desterted island?
Deserted Island.... ahhh the peace and quite...

Have love but no money or have money but no love?
Love but no money

Do Elmo workout videos or be obese?
Elmo workout videos... I like elmo

Live in Paris as a bum for a year or live in Kansas and be rich?
Rich in Kansas

Get hit by a car going 8 miles per hour or fall down 2 flights of steps?
What kind of car? A geo metro sure... a hummer thanks but i'll take the stairs

Give up alcohol or give up your favorite food?
Alcohol

Skip Christmas for a year or skip your birthday for a year?
Birthday... Christmas is for the kids... no need to take it away from them

Own a MAC or own a PC?
PC

Never use MySpace again or never use Facebook again?
hmmm. Facebook I suppose I haven't been on it in a while... and I already have 3 myspace accounts

Only eat chicken for the rest of your life or only eat beef for the rest of your life?
beef, it's what's for dinner

Date the wrong people until you meet the right one or stay single til you meet the right one?
Stay single... Trust me dating is no picnic

Have muscular abs or have muscular arms?
Abs

Go to federal prison for 3 months or go through 4 years of high school all over again?
High school... I actaully had fun

Have a bird that curses or a dog that humps things?
The dog... I despise birds

Be rich and lose it all or never become rich?
hmmmm If I was rich once and lost it all I could one day get it all back again...

ALMOST FORGOT!!

I have a story about my birthday dinner to share with you:

To start the nigth off as she was walking in to the restaurant Sparky* happened to see a dish on someone else's table that she wanted, but before she could ask what it was they left. and when the bus boy came around to refill our drinks we asked him... he gave us that pattented "I've lived in this country for 5 years and still don't speak a lick of english" look and said in heavily accented english "Escuse me" and dissapeared... our waiter arrived and again the same question... another blank look and he says "i not sure maybe taquito?" hookay then...

Finally the meal is ordered and the hillarity ensues...

After ordering Bruce trades me places so that Sparky and I can talk without having to shout at each other. This is not always the best idea. She and I don't have any qualms talking about enything in public... and I mean anything. My sister and I got into a discussion about playing the skin flute that made Bruce blush a deep crimson and my dad's girlfriend giggle nervously... I don't think she realized that my dad was a hippie in a previous life (aka yesterday). Sparky and I proceeded to tell her that as children we grew up going to nude beaches and hot springs with our parents... HA take that ya right wing conservative yuppies...

Then dinner arrives... the waiter who is slightly confused by the change in seating try to place Burce's dinner in front of me... I say "no that's his" and homeboy goes to move the plate and it slips from his fingers...

wait for it....

Oh Yeah!(said in my best kool-aide man voice)... Bruce got a lap full of lettuce and sour cream, while we both shared a thigh of rice and I got Mole sauce in my margarita...

the waiter was stunned for a moment but quickly recovered and got us enough napkins and rags to get cleaned up with.... We all laughed as we cleaned up and through my tears of mirth I said "I am soooo blogging about this"

The waiters seemed a little nervous that Bruce might get pissed at them... Bruce can look very imposing especially when seated between me 5'3" and my dad's girlfriend who is shorter than I am. He is built like a football player and since he came to dinner right after work, still looked like a hard working joe (mmmm very sexy to me). He probably looked like one of those other white dudes who get all pissed off at every little thing even if it is an accident (and I'm sure the still slightly green-blue tinted hair didn't help either).

Its one of the little things I adore about him... he looks all tough like he could kick your ass.. but really he's just a big softy (isn't that always the way)...

So there my promise has been fullfilled... I blogged about dinner...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The Day After

Ok once again I have changed the color of my blog. Yes yes I know I should be able to settle on a color scheme and stick with it... but you see... I'm a graphics designer (semi-retired) and I just can't stand a stagnant site.... LOL I love trying on different colors on my site... Maybe one day I will find the perfect combination but untill then you guys will just have to tough it out...

Today is the day after my 29th birthday!

This year it hit me....

I'm all grown up, and I can't rely on the fam to throw a great b-day party for me. I never really could rely on them I was a kid.... at least not for birthday parties...

So the plans start today for the big 3-0 party next year... I will be taking all ideas... leave a comment or email me: poetrysue@gmail.com

Now back to the day itself....

My mom got me a book (then last one in the Twilight Series, "Breaking Dawn") not a big surprise she called me from the book store and asked which one I hadn't read yet.

My dad took me, Bruce* and Spanky* to dinner (his girlfriend came too she seemed a little more relaxed this time)

Bruce took me to his house were I was treated to jazz, a foot massage, and some excellent cuddling... I spent the night and he took me home this morning (if you can call 3am morning).

All in all it wasn't a bad birthday, but next year is going to bigger and better...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEE! and Happy Blogiversary!!

Today I am 29 years old... For the first time... LOL

No I do not plan on staying 29 for any length of time beyond this year... meaning I am planning on aging gracefully. I don't want to color my hair to hide the gray, I am not going to get a face-lift to smooth out the wrinkles, and I am not going to lie about my age. I am staring the big 3-0 down the barrel and I'm not even scared...

I have achieved so much in the last 29 years.

I am a mom (and a damn fine one too)
I am a Big Sister (again a damn fine one)
I am a daughter (yes this is an achievement, you would understand if you knew my parents)
I have been married and divorced and I am still hopeful about love
I am an accomplished spoken word poet and a soon to be published one too!!
I have friends who love me like family
I have enemies that shudder at the sound of my name
I have broken hearts and had mine broken
I have lived/driven through/visited more than half of the continental United States, Canada, and Mexico
I have owned my home and been homeless (not in that order BTW...)
I have been blessed by deity and blessed others.

There are so many more things for me to happy for...

But there there is another accomplishment that I am proud of... I operate a blog. The reason I am so happy for this is that I have had 4 other blogs in the past and none of them ever lasted as long as this one and my poetry one have. I think its because with this one I decided to write about me...

My other blogs were about religion or were an attempt to appease certain people by keeping a daily log of my activities. (don't ask please its too complicated to get into) But this blog has, from the very first, been about me. It is written not for you the reader but for me the writer.

My blog here is like therapy. Sometimes all I need to do is vent. I am not saddened that my blog doesn't get a 100+ comments on each post like Cakewrecks does. I am not out to make a buck and get noticed as a column writer (I doubt I could write a column for a paper anyway). My blog is strictly for me. I may change the names and sometimes I edit the events so that they make more sense when written down (so very little of my life does make sense when written down), but then that is my prerogative.

Through this blog I have discovered a world where there are other people who view life and love like I do. From the blogs about life both funny and profound to the blogs from other writers. I follow the blogs of my true life friends and the blogs of my new group of friends; my blog-friends.
So this is not just a Happy Birth to ME but it is also a happy birthday to my blog...

And now for the good stuff!

I asked Cakewrecks if she had any pictures of any really bad unnamed happy b-day cakes. And she sent me 4 files... I could decide which one I liked the best so I am posting all of them!

thanks to Wreckporter Sara B. for this gorgeous pink treasure:

Thanks to Wreckporter Nancy T. for this rosy off-center monster:

Thanks go to Wreckporter Monique R. for the "X"cellent Cake:
And last but not least the great Cookie Cake from from Wreckporter Kelly Q.:
More Fun stuff!!

I was googling the number 29 to find some fun pics to add to my blog and here are some of the results:

For the color blind (sorry Bruce*) we have this little Gem: For the Kitty Lover in all of us:

Hey I even found a real life picture of me!:
I wish!
Drum roll please!!!! The best pic to ever find when googling... The lead singer the greatest band in the world!! Bono from U2!! ahh now my life is complete.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

just a little note

Just to let you know... the back ground has been changed in anticipation of tomorrow's blog post. Things will return to normal on the 3rd...

The Winter Holidays

I was raised by pot-smoking, red-neck, biker hippies. Which means I was taught to respect everyone's religious views, and to hate everyone equally... its a very strange but often comical mix. This leads me directly to the Winter Holidays...

I have some many friends from so many different faiths, that I usually don't send out "christmas" cards.

This year I have decided to post a blog for each major religious winter holiday. Some of them are going to be blanket blogs becuase to recognize each and every dang winter holiday with a blog would max out the memory available on Blogger's servers.

Each blog will contain a very brief description of what that holiday is about and an image.

Black Friday...sucks

So I am working today.... Yes my company is a pain in the ass and seems to think that We should be working on Friday... granted its only a half day, but well.... I SHOULD BE SHOPPING RIGHT NOW!!! *sigh*

Yesterday was amazing! His family was so cool. His Step-mom is too cool, she went into "Noni Mode" as soon as she saw my little man. She had toys for him to play with and kept the TV tuned to cartoons for him almost all day long! His Dad is awesome! And he is an amazing cook! His step-brother was there, too.

I must say I was very relieved when it turned out that everyone was cool. They were very laid back and accepted me from the very first...

I am actually planning on spending Christmas with them (they even invited Spanky!). It is a much better alternative to figuring out which parent of mine is going to get the actual day of Christmas... I'm figuring Christmas with Bruce and his fam, then the 26th with my dad, and the 27th with my mom and Spanky (the 27th is also Spanky's b-day)...

gulp....

Bruce's mom is coming into town on the 20th.... yikes... Bruce (being the great guy that he is) had me all worked up over meeting her... I was really worried that she was going to shoot me on sight... but only after I threw up all over her shoes from nerves... sheesh

but My fears were un-founded.... it seems that everyone (including his dad and Step mom) think that His mom is a really nice easy-going gal... sheesh....

anyhoot... work is almost over (thank goodness). My next few blogs have been written and you should be entertained all the way through December!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's to hoping that your turkey is going well!

May your stuffing be good, and your turkey be moist. May your potatoes be lumpy and your gravy smooth. and most importantly... May you enjoy the day and remember that even though your family is completely insane, they still love you!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

A week later...

Ok so a week after my craziest Wednesday ever, I am doing pretty good... Tonight DJ and I are once again heading off to spend the night with Bruce*... Tomorrow is the big day.... I am meeting his Dad and Step-mom... I am so nervous that I know for a fact that tonight I will be up and down all night trying to keep my reflux from killing me...

Sometimes when I am really nervous there aren't enough magic pills in the world to keep me from aspirating a little stomach bile... its gross but that's life..

I have never been this nervous before... at least not about meeting the parents of a guy I'm dating. But then I have never wanted to make something work as much as I want this relationship with Bruce to work.

I said once that I never wanted to get married ever again... I'm revising that statement. I will only get married again if its going to last forever. "Never" is such a bad word, you shouldn't say never because, as I well know, things change. There was a time not long ago that I never wanted to get bound up again like I did with my Ex... but now sometimes... (especially when I'm snuggled up on the couch with Bruce, or laughing my fool head off with him) I can think of nothing better than spending the rest of my life with someone who can make me laugh like a three year old.

Now don't go jumping to conclusions! I'm not talking about getting married next year... or even the year after (but then who knows?) I'm talking about reconsidering that notion of staying un-married for the rest of my life... Someone would say that right now its too early to tell if I could spend the rest of my life with Bruce, and I would normally agree. but...

I'm taking the fifth on exactly how I feel about it, or maybe I am going to answer like a military official on the existence of UFOs:
"I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of..."
Because that is exactly how I feel. I can neither confirm nor deny. If you asked me right now if I could marry Bruce... I would get a very strange look on my face, like I had just swallowed a pill that tasted nasty but I wanted to take. and I would stammer and blush and say:
"Honestly I don't know"

All of this rambling basically boils down to one simple truth:

I want these people to like me because I Love Bruce. Yep I used the Big L-bomb... I haven't told him yet because I know how much the L-bomb freaks him out. I think he should be the first one to vocalize that little 3 word phrase, and mean it. I know he reads my blog but I figure a digital confession is not the same as looking through the windows to someone's soul and telling them that you love them with every inch of the soul they can see floating behind your irises.

My lesson for this week has been that there truly is a silver lining to everything. Mine is a 2 parter... My son and the Man I love... they have made this week very special and without them I would have gone completely nuts!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The wednesday from hell and heaven

in my divorce settlement I was awarded spousal support. I was expecting my first check on November 1st. So a few days before the first I called my ex-husband's lawyer to remind him to remind Duchebag to send my check... He informed me that My ex would not be paying my spousal support, but that he, the lawyer, would be. The reason for this is that if my ex or his family finds out that I was awarded the spousal support he will get sued. I say ok... I don't really care who pays it as long it gets to me on the first.

Surprise surprise it doesn't come. I give it till the 5th. On the 5 it still is not there. So I call and the Lawyer tells me that he will send it a few days. SO..... I wait till the 10th.. no check... I call on the 11th... And the lawyer says he did not get to send it till the 10th so I should have it in a few days... So Monday the 17th... no check.. I call.. and leave messages, Tuesday the 18th I call and leave messages.

Wednesday th3 18th. I called My ex-husbands lawyer to find out where it is at. and apparently he never sent it, and is not going to send it. And felt that he did not need to inform me that he was not going to send it. It seems that he decided to tell my ex-husband about the support and Duchebag told him to not pay it... Well well... So I inform the lawyer that I am going to the courthouse to fill out the necessary paper work to put my ex in contempt of court... he tells me to do what I need to do...

So I call work and tell them I am going to be late. The courthouse does not open until 8 and the department I need doesn't open till 8:30.

in the mean time I am freaking out becuase now I can't pay my rent (which is late)... So I call Charlie* and ask him if I can borrow the 500 I need... he says yes and now we just have to figure out when we can get together so he can give it to me.

My mom let me borrow the car for the day (which is not the nice thing you might think it is...)

I go to the court house and spend $10 getting my papers that I need... Then I go to the post office to pick up a package that I was supposed to get almost 3 weeks ago but due to the ineptitude of the handlers in my post office was sent back to china... They almost weren't going to give it to me becuase my address is different on my Driver's license... Then They realized who they were the dealing with (that crazy bitch from a few weeks ago who got everyone in there in trouble with consumer affairs) and they gave me my package.. on the way out of the post office I drop my phone... Now the inside screen of my phone isn't working... so I can't check text messages or make calls to phones whose numbers I don't have memorized... I take the boots to my mom's house (that was the package... my sister's graduation present was boots) While there my mom gives $100 (the first good thing that had happened all day)...

Now I have the money to go get one of those cheap Go phones to use till my contract expires and I can get a new phone.... I go to walmart and they are out of the $20 phones... I have to buy a fucking $40 dollar piece of shit phone... I take the phone to the Att store to get my numbers transfered... becuase apparently only half of my numbers were saved to my sim chip.... The lady at the att store turns on my old phone and low and behold.... it FUCKING WORKS.... fucking great.... I tried turning the damn thing off and on a million times... even took the battery out.... all it takes some dumb-ass ATT bitch to turn it on and my phone decides to fucking work...

fuck

Now I have a piece of shit phone (which I took out the package) that I don't need... My mom assures me that I can take it back... lets hope so...

So I am driving to work and "ding" the fucking gas light comes on in the truck... Now I need to pull over and put gas in the truck... bye-bye 20 dollars....

I know I can't go to work yet becuase I haven't eaten all day... and I'm going to break my foot off in the ass of the next person who crosses me... and since I know that no one else in that damn office is going to help me out by doing my morning paperwork..

I don't want to go in to work and start going crazy.... Bruce* will be off work in about a half hour.... I ask if he wants to meet me for lunch... and he says yes... (the 2nd good thing to happen all day)

So we decide to meet at the Palace station cafe... I get there first and figure hell... my luck can't be any worse than it is... so I put 10 bucks in the machine and I win $30... which means I am now in possesion of an extra $20!! (third good thing)... Bruce* shows up and proceeds to make me laugh and smile and hold me and make me feel better... he even offered to scrounge up 100 bucks for me.. I love him (probably the best thing to happen in my life since DJ was born)...

So Now I am able to go to work... Oh yeah and He pays for lunch (4th good thing)

I get to work at 2, by 2:10 the work on my desk has trippled because apparently now that I am back the other person who can allocate the jobs thinks that she doesn't have to do it anymore. Fucking thanks....

And today is payroll for the installers...

does she help me with that.. hell no... what about entering the work orders from the previous day so that the installers can get paid... hell no... then she asks me to watch the phones becuase she has a project she is working on.... fucking-a I can watch the phones...

I email the girl in Corporate that I report to for doing payroll and ask her if I can do it tomorrow.. She says no prob (5th good thing)

Then I get this great text message that tells me that my 2 best friends want to get together and hang out... (6th good thing) since I have a vehicle today and no where truly pressing to be (DJ is at home with his dad and my mom has her other vehicle working) I decide to hang out with them and try to forget the 5lb box of papers I need to fill out and get back to the courthouse...

The ultimate out come of the evening was posted in friday's post...

So that was my wednesday from hell... and heaven.. there were enough good things and enough bad things that the day pretty much cancelled it self out...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Nevada Backroaders Run 11-20-08 Pics

Here are the pictures I took with my *30.00 Digital camera while we were on the Jeep run

Some cows

The next few pictures were taken at an old mine that we stoped at right after lunch

Our last stop before we went to Kingman was a little place called Hackberry. These pics were taken at the Hackberry General Store

And finally The ones you have all been waiting for! the comparssion shots of DJ and Jim the Jeep. Please note that DJ is about 2 inches shy of being 4' tall... and the Front bumper of the Jeep is directly even with his head... and the floor of the Jeep with his shoulders... now try to remember that I am only 5'3" on a good day...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.