What would you call it?

Ok so last week I talked about DeveloperD and the strange relationship we're in. We're dating each other and sleeping together, but we're not serious.

We're not supposed to be serious.... however if viewed from the outside you would say we are serious... like exclusive serious... except we're not.

Its like this: We see each other more than once a week, we have not only met each others kids but the kids have met each other. He has three of the most beautiful children! his daughter is going to be a very major babe when she hits puberty! Our kids play together at least once a week, usually on weekends.

Man oh man... I have fallen for his kids too. They are great, a little undisciplined but still very charming and devilishly smart.

He recently moved into a new place. I helped him move. I helped him unpack. I have been helping him decorate. I have my own key to his place and the neighbors recognize my car. He's met most of my family, and I've met his ex wife.

Most of the time when I'm spending the night, its on the weekend.. (if you can add a previous paragraph to this sentence you get a very interesting sum) Yes my son and I spend weekends with him and his kids. We over night with the kids... it was a little awkward in the beginning.. oh who am I kidding its still a little awkward, but everyone is getting used to it.

Now I must reiterate that we are not exclusive, we are not "serious", we are probably never going to be labeled as "boyfriend and girlfriend". But I'm not sure what you would call us... "Friends" well yes we are, "Lovers" oh definitely... somehow I don't think any traditional labels will ever fit us.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

How the hell did I end up here?

Sooooo it seems like I haven't made a real post in a while... I guess I should catch you all up real quick...

Went on lots of dates
Met lots of D-bags
Did a lot of things
Dealt with lots of drama

Now in all my dating I came across a guy that I call DeveloperD. He's smart, funny, single... and AMAZING in the sack. Mind blowing really.... He's been spectacular. There is just one problem. A few weeks ago I found myself starting to fall for him... from the very beginning he's been honest about not wanting to get into anything serious. I thought I was ok with that... until I found myself falling for him....

Originally the plan was to back off and just be friends. No more physical intimacy. That would haven been ok. I could have done that easily if not for one thing. He is the most amazing lover. HOLY SHIT just thinking about what he does to me makes me weak in the knees.

Now being the very weak (extremely horny) person I am I gave in to my carnal desires and have gone back to sleeping with him. OMG its amazing.

Now I find myself in a place I never thought I would be. I am dating and sleeping with a guy that I know will never be permanent. I happen to know that he is seeing two other women. It just happens that I am personally acquainted with one of them. I laid down some very specific rules for him. The number one being that I would NEVER be the "sloppy second". He has been very good at that one.

Now I figured that since he was honest with me, he would be honest with the other two as well. I am very careful when I spend the night to remove every trace of me. Except for the left overs (I cook when I stay over) you would never know that I was there. Now I was hoping for the same courtesy from the other two.... somehow I think that they aren't as courteous as I am.

The other day as I was preparing to take a shower at DeveloperD's I was laying my stuff out on the bed. There was some recently washed clothes sitting on the bed... among them... a pair of womens panties. sigh.... can you believe that?? One of those stupid bitches left her panties. this is just one of the reasons I don't wear panties. now I am just as pissed that Mr. DeveloperD left them out for me to see. I do take comfort that they are not very sexy, oh they tried but failed miserably. At least when I wear panties they are SEXY... I do mean sexy...

Now I'm wondering if I should talk to the woman I know... tell her its not cool. that if we are all going to be doing this we need to be courteous to one another. Or maybe I should just fight fire with fire... or maybe... just maybe I should let it go. After all I did know what I was getting into when I decided to continue seeing him....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Lonely is wishing for something you can't have but still having enough hope to wish for it.

DId I say once a week?

LMAO... how strange life is

I started this blog with the inent of keeping a record of my dating life... sadly I haven't been doing to well lately.

With neither my dating life nor my blog... LOL

it seems that I have been cursed. At first I thought it was just after three dates... then it happened after two dates... and now it has happened after the first date...

There is something about me that makes guys stop calling. When this started happening I thought it was just the guys.. now I'm not so sure... now I think it might be me....

It can't be that I look different from my pics online. I'm pretty good about posting a new pic every month or so. It can't be the text I'm using. I have had a plethora of gurus and friends (both male and female) help me to create an authentic description of myself. I don't lie about my body type, I don't lie about what I am looking for. I'm fairly open and honest with a guy (I don't divulge all the skeletons hiding in my closet on the first date). Hell I even put out after the third date (sometimes on the third date). I have even given in to the pressure to give out my phone number early on... I return every call, text message and email I get. I initiate conversations and I don't contact them everyday (trying too keep away from the creepy chick image).

So what could I possibly be doing wrong?

I keep hearing this bit of sage advice (or some variance of it): "When you stop looking you'll find what you want". Often I would respond to this with "If I'm not out looking for it how in the hell am I supposed to find it?" Well here goes... I am no longer going to actively seek.

I am keeping up all my profiles, but I will no longer go on and search out guys. The only one that I will remain "active" on is Match.com... in order for me to cash in on that free 6 months I have to be active for 6 months.

now in the mean time a couple of friends of mine who are also in the dating circle have been inspired to also keep a record of their experiences... you can check them out here: Curvacious Bounty

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

long time no post!

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