The Fine Line...

There is a fine line between dating and friends...

Steve* and I are friends. We hang out together, we talk to each other everyday and we share our thoughts on relationships and life. But we are not sleeping together.

Bruce* and I are dating. We hang out together, we talk to each other everyday and we share our thoughts on relationships and life. We are sleeping together.

Bruce thinks our relationship is moving too fast. That we did not give ourselves time to become friends before we became lovers. I can see how he might think this. I can see that in less than a month we jumped from "Hi my name is...." to "OH GOD YES!!!". But I completely disagree with him.

You see there 2 paths people can take in life when it comes to relationships. The first path is the path of friendship. Learning each other's likes and dislikes. Learning what makes each other laugh. Forming a bond that sometimes reaches deeper than the bond of blood family. With a true friend you can honestly be yourself, there are no public masks between the two of you. You can practically tell what the other person is thinking about any given subject. A simple look between you can convey an entire conversation.

The other path we take in relationships is the path of lovers. It has the same qualities as the path of friendship with the added quality of intimacy. Both physical and mental intimacy. You share with your lover the things you don't share with a friend, even a true friend. No matter what there are things you keep from your friends, but that you don't keep from a lover. You can't keep them from a lover, your intimacy prevents it.

Some people disagree with me on this point. Some people tell me that they don't share everything with their lover, or that they share more with their friends. Or that they aren't that close to their friends. I tell them that this is how I see it and they needn't worry about it. But I digress...

I believe that Bruce and I are walking the paths to friendship and lovers at the same time. We are discovering the intimacy and honesty at the same time. I don't think we are moving too fast. and I don't think we are moving too slow. I think that the pace we are taking is just right, for us (or at least me).

But if Bruce* thinks we are moving too fast then we shall slow up. I'm not sure how he wants to achieve this. We are supposed to have a sit down on Saturday to talk it out, but as it turns out we are having dinner tonight. Perhaps we will discuss things tonight, or maybe we'll keep the conversation on the back burner till Saturday.

He asked me if I was talking to anyone else (I'm assuming he meant "seeing" as well). As it turns out I'm not. I'm not getting any response from the Internet dating scene and my attempts to attract attention in the real world are met with... well nothing.

EZ tells me sometimes I have to be the "approacher". I understand that, and since I hate public humiliation, I have learned to read body language and find a guy who might be approachable. (years of hard work and practice and lots of reading). Sadly sometimes I am wrong and still am faced with "the smile". Everyone both male and female knows what I am talking about. Its the smile given to you by the person you have asked to dance, or if you can buy them a drink, or whatever opening line you used who is not receptive to your advances. It is a mixture of pity and regret. It says in the language of lips "I'm sorry, but no. And even if I were available it would still be no. However, I am flattered."

I'm a little put off by the whole shy men thing. I am tired of doing all the leg work (literally, as when I am out "hunting", if you will, I'm usually in heels). I am tired of approaching guys and getting "the smile" or even "the laugh" (that's the "I can't believe you would think I'm interested" laugh). In my fairytale world the guy approaches me and says hi. But guys are getting more and more gun shy because of the women out there who are raising their standards to unreachable heights and don't even want to entertain the idea of a regular Joe buying them a drink.

Again I have digressed...

So here is where it stands with me and Bruce*:
I am going to let him decide the pace, but I am going to have some very specific rules, which I won't reveal here since he reads this. (no sense in giving him a heads up).

About me dating other people.. meh
I am actually not really interested in dating anyone else right now. I have found a guy that, so far, displays a vast majority of the qualities I am looking for. Why not pursue it? Why not give it my all?

My final decision will just have to wait until after Bruce* and I have that sit down heart to heart. I'm hoping he can see things from my perspective, or that how he plans on slowing things down will work for me. If not, well who knows, maybe we can find a compromise or maybe we just become really good friends...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Movie Review

Check out my Movie Review over at Mooog's Movie Reviews, and while your at it get a whiff of his Mental Poo and be prepared to laugh... that is some funny sh*t....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Crazy Hormonal Me

Now that I can look back on it.. I laugh. but at the time.... YIKES

On friday I went to the movies with Bruce*, Spanky*, and Sparky. We watched Saw V (AWESOME) Afterwords we went to a popular taco establishment. I figured I was going to get a kiss at some point in the evening so I refrained from smoking. Bruce* doesn't like kissing me after I smoke.

But he didn't kiss me.. something about having hot sauce on his breath... Like I care.

After we went our seperate ways I sent the following text:
"You know I didn't smoke tonight becuase I thought I was getting a kiss"

I got no response... at all... and nothing the following morning... or afternoon... I worked myself into a pitiful worried mess..... I was sure that my text message had ruined everything. I wrote him an email... it was long and slightly incoherrent.

at 5:00 pm he finally sent me a text.... apparently the night before he downed a half bottle of nyquil because of this cough he has developed and it put him out. He even died his hair blue while under the influence....

Now I can laugh about it. mostly becuase Bruce is so easy going that the crazy chick email did not even phase him. And because the hormone levels have finally returned to normal. We never did make it to our picnic on sunday.

instead I went to his house and played nurse. making him drink terrible teas and take hot baths. I brought my son along (because I had too) and Bruce didn't mind. We watched kid movies and ate something called "Hot Zasta". a family creation of his that was suppossed to give me an intestinal hot flash today... but so far nothing... Better luck next time buddy. Either that or let me give it a go... I can cook spicy.....

So the weekend went rather well. My tattoo is healing nicely and I didn't screw things up with Bruce*. He even forgave my psycho hormonal other personlaity. Which is a big plus for him.


*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday update

Time to update all of you.

This week has been frought with baby daddy drama. Becuase of it my camping trip for the first weekend of November has been cancelled. And also my mid week dating trips have to be put aside for now. Also with today's economy I may have to sell my house, downgrade and get a second job....

I was very worried about this. Bruce* is big about making time and not getting caught up in more than you can handle... But when I talked to him and explained things. he simply said:

"We'll looks like we spend more time at your house"

I used to have a rule about no guys at the house. But not anymore. Crap now I have to clean the floors...

Of course now what I had hoped was going to be a nice romantic picnic on sunday has been interuppted by my "Aunt Flow" and DJ. No problem. Bruce is putting the back seat into the Jeep and we'll strap the kid in and take an easier trail. All his idea. Yeah I know.

Now for the scary stuff:

My son has always been a little on the strange side. WHen he was just 3 months old he was diagnosed with acute eczema. Just imagine your skin being so dry and thin that every time you scratch you bleed. Now add to that an itchieness that is about 100 times greater than poison ivy, sumac and oak combined.

He was pretty much one big weeping scab for about 15 months. We tried everything. and some things would work for a little while and then he would be itchy and scabby again. Finally when he was a little bit over a year old his doctors decided to put him on a high dose short term steroid push. He had been on low dose steroid creams and ointments for a while but they just weren't doing enough. The only worry was if it would delay some of his speech faculties.

Well it did. It seemed he was getting better for the last year or so and his pediatrician was positive with the outlook. But today was DJ's 3 year well check visit.

Combined with his Speech issues and his potty training issues and some very strange OCD things he has (he is wierd about things being lined up and color coordinated) he has Dr. M a little worried. Nothing big like autism but maybe ADD in the begining stages. In December DJ is going to see a speech pathologist and and phsycologist. IF it is ADD i do not want to put him on meds. instead I am going to search for a non-pharmacological method of trying to overcome it. If you have any ideas let me know. in the mean time keep your fingers crossed for the little guy.

NOW for the cool stuff:

Me and Spanky have been talking about getting matching tattos for a little over a year now. and last night we finally did it. My dad Paid for them as a grad present for her and a b-day present for me. here are the pictures:

This is her's it says "Baby Sister" and at the bottom for the squiggly is a pair of cutting shears. She's a hair dresser. It is "shaded" so it looks very girly.
This is mine. It says "Big Sister" and at the bottom of my squiggly is an Ahnk (Egyptian symbol of life). Mine is completely colored in so it does not look as girly.
The script is the same and the squiggly is the same. But we didn't want them to be exactly the same. the litle differences in them are reflective of the differences in us.

My son got to watch the last little bit of my tattoo and when I got out of the chair he sat down, said "MY turn", put his arm out and pulled up his shirt-sleeve. SO the artist pulled out a sharpie and drew this on his hand:

One very cool Dragon

Oh yeah and Bruce* came along to offer his support and toddler sitting skills. He kept DJ entertained for most of the night while we got our ink done. Once again.. Yeah I know. This guy is great.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The Men in My Life Part 2

This post has been added in addendum to the previous post today. I was reminded that I left out one of the most influetntial men in my life:

9. L.Dog: Yes that is his name. He is my boss. He has been a faithful reader of my blog. His inspirational anal winds have made me slightly scent resistant. Without his humor and wit my work day would be frought with adult conversations.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.