Friday, November 28, 2008


So I am working today.... Yes my company is a pain in the ass and seems to think that We should be working on Friday... granted its only a half day, but well.... I SHOULD BE SHOPPING RIGHT NOW!!! *sigh*

Yesterday was amazing! His family was so cool. His Step-mom is too cool, she went into "Noni Mode" as soon as she saw my little man. She had toys for him to play with and kept the TV tuned to cartoons for him almost all day long! His Dad is awesome! And he is an amazing cook! His step-brother was there, too.

I must say I was very relieved when it turned out that everyone was cool. They were very laid back and accepted me from the very first...

I am actually planning on spending Christmas with them (they even invited Spanky!). It is a much better alternative to figuring out which parent of mine is going to get the actual day of Christmas... I'm figuring Christmas with Bruce and his fam, then the 26th with my dad, and the 27th with my mom and Spanky (the 27th is also Spanky's b-day)...


Bruce's mom is coming into town on the 20th.... yikes... Bruce (being the great guy that he is) had me all worked up over meeting her... I was really worried that she was going to shoot me on sight... but only after I threw up all over her shoes from nerves... sheesh

but My fears were un-founded.... it seems that everyone (including his dad and Step mom) think that His mom is a really nice easy-going gal... sheesh....

anyhoot... work is almost over (thank goodness). My next few blogs have been written and you should be entertained all the way through December!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's to hoping that your turkey is going well!

May your stuffing be good, and your turkey be moist. May your potatoes be lumpy and your gravy smooth. and most importantly... May you enjoy the day and remember that even though your family is completely insane, they still love you!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A week later...

Ok so a week after my craziest Wednesday ever, I am doing pretty good... Tonight DJ and I are once again heading off to spend the night with Bruce*... Tomorrow is the big day.... I am meeting his Dad and Step-mom... I am so nervous that I know for a fact that tonight I will be up and down all night trying to keep my reflux from killing me...

Sometimes when I am really nervous there aren't enough magic pills in the world to keep me from aspirating a little stomach bile... its gross but that's life..

I have never been this nervous before... at least not about meeting the parents of a guy I'm dating. But then I have never wanted to make something work as much as I want this relationship with Bruce to work.

I said once that I never wanted to get married ever again... I'm revising that statement. I will only get married again if its going to last forever. "Never" is such a bad word, you shouldn't say never because, as I well know, things change. There was a time not long ago that I never wanted to get bound up again like I did with my Ex... but now sometimes... (especially when I'm snuggled up on the couch with Bruce, or laughing my fool head off with him) I can think of nothing better than spending the rest of my life with someone who can make me laugh like a three year old.

Now don't go jumping to conclusions! I'm not talking about getting married next year... or even the year after (but then who knows?) I'm talking about reconsidering that notion of staying un-married for the rest of my life... Someone would say that right now its too early to tell if I could spend the rest of my life with Bruce, and I would normally agree. but...

I'm taking the fifth on exactly how I feel about it, or maybe I am going to answer like a military official on the existence of UFOs:
"I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of..."
Because that is exactly how I feel. I can neither confirm nor deny. If you asked me right now if I could marry Bruce... I would get a very strange look on my face, like I had just swallowed a pill that tasted nasty but I wanted to take. and I would stammer and blush and say:
"Honestly I don't know"

All of this rambling basically boils down to one simple truth:

I want these people to like me because I Love Bruce. Yep I used the Big L-bomb... I haven't told him yet because I know how much the L-bomb freaks him out. I think he should be the first one to vocalize that little 3 word phrase, and mean it. I know he reads my blog but I figure a digital confession is not the same as looking through the windows to someone's soul and telling them that you love them with every inch of the soul they can see floating behind your irises.

My lesson for this week has been that there truly is a silver lining to everything. Mine is a 2 parter... My son and the Man I love... they have made this week very special and without them I would have gone completely nuts!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The wednesday from hell and heaven

in my divorce settlement I was awarded spousal support. I was expecting my first check on November 1st. So a few days before the first I called my ex-husband's lawyer to remind him to remind Duchebag to send my check... He informed me that My ex would not be paying my spousal support, but that he, the lawyer, would be. The reason for this is that if my ex or his family finds out that I was awarded the spousal support he will get sued. I say ok... I don't really care who pays it as long it gets to me on the first.

Surprise surprise it doesn't come. I give it till the 5th. On the 5 it still is not there. So I call and the Lawyer tells me that he will send it a few days. SO..... I wait till the 10th.. no check... I call on the 11th... And the lawyer says he did not get to send it till the 10th so I should have it in a few days... So Monday the 17th... no check.. I call.. and leave messages, Tuesday the 18th I call and leave messages.

Wednesday th3 18th. I called My ex-husbands lawyer to find out where it is at. and apparently he never sent it, and is not going to send it. And felt that he did not need to inform me that he was not going to send it. It seems that he decided to tell my ex-husband about the support and Duchebag told him to not pay it... Well well... So I inform the lawyer that I am going to the courthouse to fill out the necessary paper work to put my ex in contempt of court... he tells me to do what I need to do...

So I call work and tell them I am going to be late. The courthouse does not open until 8 and the department I need doesn't open till 8:30.

in the mean time I am freaking out becuase now I can't pay my rent (which is late)... So I call Charlie* and ask him if I can borrow the 500 I need... he says yes and now we just have to figure out when we can get together so he can give it to me.

My mom let me borrow the car for the day (which is not the nice thing you might think it is...)

I go to the court house and spend $10 getting my papers that I need... Then I go to the post office to pick up a package that I was supposed to get almost 3 weeks ago but due to the ineptitude of the handlers in my post office was sent back to china... They almost weren't going to give it to me becuase my address is different on my Driver's license... Then They realized who they were the dealing with (that crazy bitch from a few weeks ago who got everyone in there in trouble with consumer affairs) and they gave me my package.. on the way out of the post office I drop my phone... Now the inside screen of my phone isn't working... so I can't check text messages or make calls to phones whose numbers I don't have memorized... I take the boots to my mom's house (that was the package... my sister's graduation present was boots) While there my mom gives $100 (the first good thing that had happened all day)...

Now I have the money to go get one of those cheap Go phones to use till my contract expires and I can get a new phone.... I go to walmart and they are out of the $20 phones... I have to buy a fucking $40 dollar piece of shit phone... I take the phone to the Att store to get my numbers transfered... becuase apparently only half of my numbers were saved to my sim chip.... The lady at the att store turns on my old phone and low and behold.... it FUCKING WORKS.... fucking great.... I tried turning the damn thing off and on a million times... even took the battery out.... all it takes some dumb-ass ATT bitch to turn it on and my phone decides to fucking work...


Now I have a piece of shit phone (which I took out the package) that I don't need... My mom assures me that I can take it back... lets hope so...

So I am driving to work and "ding" the fucking gas light comes on in the truck... Now I need to pull over and put gas in the truck... bye-bye 20 dollars....

I know I can't go to work yet becuase I haven't eaten all day... and I'm going to break my foot off in the ass of the next person who crosses me... and since I know that no one else in that damn office is going to help me out by doing my morning paperwork..

I don't want to go in to work and start going crazy.... Bruce* will be off work in about a half hour.... I ask if he wants to meet me for lunch... and he says yes... (the 2nd good thing to happen all day)

So we decide to meet at the Palace station cafe... I get there first and figure hell... my luck can't be any worse than it is... so I put 10 bucks in the machine and I win $30... which means I am now in possesion of an extra $20!! (third good thing)... Bruce* shows up and proceeds to make me laugh and smile and hold me and make me feel better... he even offered to scrounge up 100 bucks for me.. I love him (probably the best thing to happen in my life since DJ was born)...

So Now I am able to go to work... Oh yeah and He pays for lunch (4th good thing)

I get to work at 2, by 2:10 the work on my desk has trippled because apparently now that I am back the other person who can allocate the jobs thinks that she doesn't have to do it anymore. Fucking thanks....

And today is payroll for the installers...

does she help me with that.. hell no... what about entering the work orders from the previous day so that the installers can get paid... hell no... then she asks me to watch the phones becuase she has a project she is working on.... fucking-a I can watch the phones...

I email the girl in Corporate that I report to for doing payroll and ask her if I can do it tomorrow.. She says no prob (5th good thing)

Then I get this great text message that tells me that my 2 best friends want to get together and hang out... (6th good thing) since I have a vehicle today and no where truly pressing to be (DJ is at home with his dad and my mom has her other vehicle working) I decide to hang out with them and try to forget the 5lb box of papers I need to fill out and get back to the courthouse...

The ultimate out come of the evening was posted in friday's post...

So that was my wednesday from hell... and heaven.. there were enough good things and enough bad things that the day pretty much cancelled it self out...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Nevada Backroaders Run 11-20-08 Pics

Here are the pictures I took with my *30.00 Digital camera while we were on the Jeep run
Some cows
The next few pictures were taken at an old mine that we stoped at right after lunch

Our last stop before we went to Kingman was a little place called Hackberry. These pics were taken at the Hackberry General Store

And finally The ones you have all been waiting for! the comparssion shots of DJ and Jim the Jeep. Please note that DJ is about 2 inches shy of being 4' tall... and the Front bumper of the Jeep is directly even with his head... and the floor of the Jeep with his shoulders... now try to remember that I am only 5'3" on a good day...
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.


This weekend was more fun than a barrel of monkeys on acid.

Friday night Bruce* picked me up from work in the Jeep and from there we went to DJ's daycare to pick him up. He loves the Jeep and when he saw it he said "Yay! Bruce*!" From there we went to My house where I got all the things needed to spend an evening and a day away from home with my son... Batman pillow, Blankie, kitty (a crocheted kitty that I made for my god-daughter but that my son would not let me give to her), enough pull-ups to keep a day care running for a week, Oh and clothes....

We went shopping for food and supplies for Saturday and were at Bruce's house and in bed by 9:00... almost and hour after Bruce wanted to be in bed. But hey... no Biggie... we figured we would toss everything in the back and drive to Boulder City, NV (where we were meeting the club) then rearrange everything and have some breakfast. We figured to leave at 6:00 am.. it would take an hour to get there... half hour to rearrange.... eat... meet the club at 8:30

Saturday morning dawns... and everything is moving smoothly... we are out of the house at 6:05. We got to Boulder City in a half hour. The cafe I had planned on taking us to was closed, but there was another one open. We had our breakfast and got the truck rearranged... it was only 8:00 am.. a full half hour before the club is meeting and an hour before we roll out.

We decided to go to the meeting spot early and gassed up. lucky for us there were other early birds there as well. DJ made everyone laugh by literally running circles around me. He chased the dogs that came along and generally acted like a three year old surrounded by big trucks (excuse me Jeeps). We rolled out at 9.

The first leg of the journey (paved) was made with only minor incident (Bruce missed the first turn and about half the club was following us...LOL) We finally parked and everyone started airing down their tires (for better traction) and disconnecting their sway bars (for better movement).

DJ and I were across the street keeping out of everyone's way. As it was about time to get going DJ and I started across the street to get back in the Jeep. DJ was running and looking back I told him to watch where he was going.. he turned around just in time to make contact with the edge of the steel bumper on Bruce's Jeep.

It was like something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon... When Tom is running and gets whacked in the head by a stationery object... his feet fly out in front of him and he falls to the ground... it was like that exactly except that DJ was in the motion of turning so his body continued turning after he hit and he landed on the pavement face first...

I got across the street and picked him up before he started crying but once he did it was the wail of the century... oh man... I got a look at his head and he had two gashes and two goose eggs forming...

Bruce: "it looks like he's growing horns"

Bruce had his first aid kit out and I got his head cleaned up and a band-aid put on the worse of the two... the contact with the bumper left a nice dent. it did not bleed as much as I thought it would but then I was pretty quick to apply pressure and get it bandaged. The other "horn" if you will, was barely a scratch and did not swell up nearly as big as the bumper contact did... We rolled out shortly afterward.

A little while later (while trying to figure out where the leaders took the wrong turn LOL) I was able to get an aspirin from one of the other drivers. DJ did not like taking that but I coaxed him with some cheese and Dr. Pepper... He was fairly happy for the rest of the day...

We got to the midway point and stopped for lunch. DJ was out playing and I went to herd him back to eat. As he was running back he tripped over his own feet and landed his knee on a rock. Now he has a bruise on his knee...

Bruce: "Well I can see what traits he gets from your side of the family"


The rest of the adventure was accident free, thankfully. But Bruce was very amazed when DJ actually napped as we were driving... His little head was bouncing around but remained asleep. However when I said his name he jumped and woke up like someone had blasted an air horn, very funny.

We ate dinner at the Cracker Barrel in Kingman, AZ. and came home. DJ was so tired that he did not even wake up when I took him out of the Jeep and handed him off to his father (who had him for the rest of the weekend).

Sunday was spent lazing about watching movies with Bruce and playing video games.

So are you wondering where "Ting" comes from? Well that's the sound that a 3-year old's skull makes when it connects to the steel bumper of a Jeep. It is also Bruce's new nickname for DJ... and it looks like it might stick, My mom is already calling him that.

The incident inspired me to write a limerick. Yeah I know I'm one sick puppy...

There once a Jeep named Jim
A little boy ran into him
There was blood and bone
From the front of his dome
Spread all over the front end.

PS. the Jeep's name is Jim AKA Mr. Wigglesworth (don't ask me I don't get it either.. except the Jim part.. but that's not my story to tell)

Hopefully tomorrow I will have pics to post from this weekend... including a comparison shot of the Jeep and DJ... just so you can get an idea of how tall this thing really is...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, November 21, 2008

This week has been crazy!

This week has been completely insane.... Without L Dogg here to run the show it has been chaos in some areas of work.. the door to his office is literally covered with notes and messages and things only he can handle its been awesome without him... not really but I'm trying to put a positive spin on things.... sigh

Then My Ex-Husband decided to rear his ugly head and F*ck my life up even more than he already has... I'll be posting a blog about that next week...

But there have been some truly great things to happen to me this week... And the number one dude responsible for all of it... Bruce*

He has been rock solid all week and very supportive in his own way. He is the strong-let-me-make-you-laugh-and-giggle-so-you-can-relax-and-stop-stressing-type-of-guy. He has been so cool...

Tuesday was an interesting day. I got a message on one of my old dating sites from a chick. She said she was looking for people to hang out with. So I messaged her back and invited her to come to Word Up! (poetry open mic) at Rejavanate.. She came and is a really cool chick, a massage therapist.. hmmm wonder if she gives discounts to friends... Afterwards Bruce* sent me a text and wanted me to come over for some hot tubbing. I did and it was great... I was so relaxed afterwards that it is probably the reason I only broken down once on Wednesday...

On Wednesday(the day of doom and destruction that will be posted about later) He had me come over and we invited EZ and Steve* to come over.. we watched movies and the boys played some Guitar Hero. It was good for me to end a hideous day surrounded by good friends, it made me less stressed and it made me realize that no matter what I have a great supporting cast in the drama of my life.

Thursday was filled with anticipation.... I bought Tickets for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert for Me and my mom and her boyfriend (NascarNut) and Spanky and Bruce. NascarNut is a big fan of TSO but has never been to a concert, so for chirstmas I bought tickets for everyone to go. Bruce had never been before and only knew TSO for their Christmas music... Spanky, my mom and I had all been before and knew these guys were in for a treat... They loved it.. Ok NascarNut loved it and Bruce enjoyed it...

Today begins the weekend... (ok officially it starts at 4:01 PM Pacific time when I clock out for the day). And today has started off spectacularly!! Text messages from Bruce this morning were funny and sweet. Then I get this weird one:

Bruce: "Red or Green"
ME: "Green"
ME: "Why?"
Bruce: "You'll see"
ME: "When will I see?"
Bruce: "Can you take a smoke break?"
Me: "Sure"

A few minutes later I hear the jingle of little sleigh bells coming from the office out side my door. I turn around and there is Bruce. holding out a little Christmas pen...

It's red.. but then he's color blind too... LOL I love it...

The plan for this weekend is this:

Bruce will pick me up from work in the Jeep. We will go pick up DJ from daycare, swing by my house and grab the items I will need for DJ for a weekend away from home (plus a change of clothes for me). We will go to the grocery store and get the stuff for tomorrow's breakfast and lunch. Go back to his place and get DJ settled in so that he will be asleep by 8 (yeah sure)... ourselves in bed by 8:30 at the latest. We should be up and packed and on the road by 6:30 am. Then we are off on an adventure. We will be going off-roading with Bruce's "Jeep" club. I put jeep in quotations because there are more than just Jeeps in the club. We will probably be gone all day...

I am excited... after the week I've had at work, and the drama from Wednesday.. I need a day away from it all... to spend that day with Bruce and DJ will only make it a thousand times better...

Saturday Night I'm going back to my place, unless Bruce* wants to get snugly then It will be taking DJ to go see his dad. Sunday will be spent cleaning... I did not get everything done last week that I wanted to get done... (like the floors in the living room, dining room and kitchen)

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, November 17, 2008


What a great weekend!!

Friday was fun... after Bruce Picked me up, we went to dinner and my dad seemed to like him. But I'm not sure how much I like my dad's girlfriend. She just moved in with him last week (from IOWA!!!). I get the feeling that she and are going to butt heads.. I caught a few of the glimpses she tossed at my date and I did not like them at all...

I don't care if she approves of him. What matters (and only a little) is that my Dad likes him. I'm not sure but I think the slightly teal hair threw her off....

I'm not going to jump to any conclusions yet... we shall see how things go.

After dinner we went back to his place and.... we never made it to the hot tub.. (giggle) instead we stayed in and.... well... you know


Saturday was spent all over Las Vegas! we did some shopping and some more shopping and some more shopping.... HOLY BEJESUS we did a ton of shopping... mostly it was window shopping but still... we were on our feet all day... We got the material for the curtains for the Jeep.

It is a this great patchwork flannel in greens and blues... I'll get a pic and show it to ya. But Watching the two of us must have been hilarious...

Bruce is Color Blind... oh yeah shopping for fabric with a color blind man... (giggle) it was fun.. he would say.. "That's a nice purple" I would say "Honey that's blue"... it would go on and on... I had so much fun describing the colors to him and trying to convey patterns (have you ever tried to explain color?).

By the end of the day my feet hurt so much I was starting to get cranky... so he took back to his house where we watched a movie and and and....

he gave me a foot massage and a hand massage and a leg massage and an arm massage and... well we won't go into that...

oh nothing too sexual mind you my Aunt Flow decided to join us Saturday morning (B*tch)

but it was sooooooooooo relaxing...

I haven't had a massage from a significant other in over... 5 years... Sure I have had the occasional pedicure, and manicure... and once I even got a real back massage at a parlor... but nothing compares to the gentle hands of your lover as they willing ease the tension from you body.... it is heaven... especially with Bruce*... man does he know how to give a massage....

After which we went to dinner (which was.. eh) and then he took me home...

Sunday we both had so much cleaning to do!! We kept each other updated through out the day with text messages and phone calls....

Oh and it has been confirmed... I am going with him to his Father's for Thanksgiving, where I am going to meet Mr. Bruce's dad and his wife The Step-mom everybody loves (even some of the ex-wives). There is going to be more of his family there, but the ties and connections are so twisty that they make me sea sick thinking about them... Bruce says I'll get it after a while... but I'm not sure... yikes

I am soooo nervous... there are many factors against me in this situation... which I will go into in another post... But I am really going to have to be on my best behavior if I want them to like me...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, November 14, 2008

L Dogg's Friday Update

So my Boss L Dogg is going on vacation all of next week... he is taking the week off so he can spend it playing the LOTRO expansion. (think WOW but geekier). And so that he gets his fix of my blog he wants me to post today...

So here are this weekends plans:

Friday (today) get picked up by Bruce* on the newly repaired motorcycle, go to dinner with my sis and dad and dad's girlfriend... go back to Bruce's, go to hot tub...

Saturday Go with Bruce* while he takes pics of my friend and her daughter (think nature based portraits)... go shopping for material to make snap on surtains for the Jeep. (after our get back to nature session last week it has been decided that they are needed).. if nothing else planned for the evening with Bruce*... go see EZ do a lecture on food....

Sunday CLEAN... good lorday I am down to my last pair of socks!!! time to clean and do laundry....

so there L Dogg... Now you can spend your week in peace

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What Kind of Friends are We?

So I have been expanding my circle of blogs that I read. In doing so I came across That Girl. Being me and seeing that it had started about the same time mine did... I went back and reread most of it (not all of it jeez I'm not a complete psycho). And I found myself reading a blog very similar to my own. Except she is younger and no doubt childless. I sent her an email telling her I liked it and left a few comments on her blog... She replied and the closing statement of her email:

"Look forward to being Blog Friends =)"

Blog Friends?

That got me to thinking about the different types of friends there are...

Best Friends: The people you love like family, who have probably seen you naked, have seen you cry at least once, won't let you get away with anything becuase they know you better than you know yourself, they know every name of every member of your immediate family, Not only have they held your hair when you puke but they probably have cleaned you up too.

Close Friends: They either used to be or on their way to being a Best Friend, They have held your hair when you puke, They know your sibling's name(s), They may not have ever seen you cry but they know that you do, They may have seen you half naked or done some "mooning" with you

Friends: People you hang out with regularly but you don't share alot of personal info with. They have never seen you naked, They have seen you get drunk/stoned/high but have never held your hair for you, They know you have siblings but may not remeber their names

Pen Pals: People you write to either with pen and paper or keyboard and byte.

F*ck Buddies: They may come from any of the first 3 catagories but with the added benefit of having sex ready and available whenever you need it.

Phone Friends: (I have one of these) A friendship that can be as close as any of the first three, but exists almost completely over the phone.

Text pals: People you send text messages too, usually you only exchange those annoying chain texts but sometimes you send a picture message

Blog Friends: Someone who you may never know their real name, you read each other's blog faithfully and comment often. You email suggestions and guest posts too each other. You may never meet this person in real life but their opinion matters to you...

Can you think of any other types of friends to add to the list? Email me or post a comment...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lists and lists

Today I have started to organize my Holiday shipping lists... this of course includes asking everyone what they want for the holidays (or at least those people that I don't already have something in mind for). I have found in my many years of doing this that I go through the same dance with everyone.

Me: What do you want for Christmas?
Them: *insert outlandish request*
Me: Ha ha I'll see what I can do.
Them: Oh actually just a *insert more reasonable request* would be nice.
Me: Oh... what color?
Them: oh don't worry about that really you don't have to get me anything... or a gift card would be nice...

EVERYONE does this... or at least the people I know.

I have come to a conclusion about this..

You see everyone actually has 3 wish lists:

The first list is all the things they secretly desire but are afraid to ask for because they don't want someone thinking them foolish. SO when asked, this pops first into their minds; but to cover up their desire they make a joke of it. For instance the top thing on my secret wish list is very embarrassing for me... Jewelry. Something not from the jewelry counter at WalMart or Target. Something real... I'm not fond of Gold (unless its white gold), and since diamonds tend to wash out in a silver setting, I prefer colored stones. A nice silver and Sapphire something would be perfect. Please note that I am not very specific, this is because my desire is not very specific. Something simple yet elegant... I will never openly ask for this. Never. I have in the past and been disappointed.. (usually with some cheap nickel plated ring with a blue glass gem). So I stopped asking. But even I am guilty of answering "What do you want for Christmas" with a joking "Sapphires and diamonds set in silver".

The second wish list people have are the things they want, are willing to admit to, but don't expect to get. So they will ask for it but they never expect to get it... (sometimes if they are like me they buy it for themselves during those awesome after holidays sales).. My second list would be topped with a food saver. One of those really cool ones that completely seals food into its own little bag or container...

The third and final list contains all the things we expect to get from people, and are the most comfortable sharing as a wish list. Things like gift cards, or another trinket to add to the collection you already have going. I collect Piglet memorabilia, Any thing to do with Wolves, My favorite Band is U2, I am an avid reader, and I camp... a lot. So every year I get at least one thing from each of those interests. Always there is a gift card to Starbucks or Barnes and Noble thrown in there for good measure. I am not unhappy with these gifts, but neither am I surprised by them.

I try every year to get something for everyone that they are neither expecting nor have outright asked for. I get creative... one year my baby sis Sparky asked for a car... so I got a remote controlled version of the car.. she was delighted with it and still has it to this day. If someone I know drinks wine... I don't get them wine... I get them wine accessories. There is a girl in my office who crafts and crochets as much as I do... so I got her something off my second list... I won't say what it is because she reads my blog!! LOL

I try to think outside the box when it comes to holiday gifts... if someone I know loves going to the beach, and goes often, I would probably get them a very nice beach blanket, or umbrella (neither of which is easy to find in the dead of winter!!).

I could go on and on about the way I do my holiday shopping but then I would give away all my secrets....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A few clarifications....

Ok so I guess I need to add some clarifications to my blog. It seems that there is some confusion as to where my relationship with Bruce* is going.

1. We are not getting married any time soon. For that matter who is to say we are getting married? We haven't even begun to fully explore this relationship so there is no way we can even think about getting married... yet.

2. We are not moving in together. I have way too much stuff to move into his cozy one bedroom condo, and My house would be a little crowded with him living there. Please refer to clarification #1

3. I am not getting his name tattooed to me. The only person, so far, who will have that privilege will be my son.

4. I am not taking my son away from his father. Yes My son spends lots of time with his father. (if you could call it that). When his dad has a day off I try to make sure that DJ spends the day with him. Unless I have something planned like a picnic, or an event like The Bite of Las Vegas.
Baby Daddy is a bit of a homebody and doesn't really like to go out (unless he is going to play poker). So mostly the two of them stay home and watch movies or DJ watches his daddy play video games. Exciting... I know. Yes DJ does get excited to see Bruce, but usually it's because it means we are going to go do something fun, like go off roading or to a park.

5. well I can't really think of a 5 but if one comes up I will post it. Sheesh

So that's about it. Bruce and I are in the beginning stages of an adult relationship. We have yet to discover all the little quirks and intricacies that make us up. We are learning about what makes each other tick. What the pet peeves are, what the favorites and not favorites are. There is much to be explored. We are both complex individuals and I can see it taking a while before we know each other completely. But who ever really knows another person completely? We know favorite colors and food preferences (which is more than I can say for my ex husband - bacon, mushroom burger indeed). We know the surface stuff, now we just have to delve a little deeper and find out the other stuff. You know the stuff I am talking about. Stuff you wouldn't post about on the internet. For instance: I have a nervous tic that very few people know about. I am usually pretty good at hiding it. Usually it only presents when I am in a situation where I am stressed out or supremely pissed off, or when I am upset with myself, but it has been known to happen for no reason. But I have never had this tic appear while I am around Bruce*. Strange...

I am positive there are little things I have yet to discover about Bruce* but I plan on having fun learning all about them.

oh yeah I guess now Bruce* knows about my tic. LOL sometimes I forget that he reads this. Smooches Sweetie

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, November 10, 2008

WOW is all I can say

So friday...
Bruce* picked me up from work and we went back to his place. We watched a movie and then went to my poetry showcase. (which kind of sucked but was OK). then we went to the store to buy food for dinner and for our picnic the next day. While shopping I caught they eye of this cute stocker boy, we did the whole i smile you smile if you weren't at work we would chat it up thing. I got a very defined jealous vibe from Bruce*, weired huh...

So we get back to his place and he heats up the soup and makes grilled cheese sandwiches... (why is he still so damn sweet?). Then we get in to our jammie. Yeah I said jammies!!! Apparently he bought some foot pj's that fit him but not if he wants to sit down... (he is rather tall) and he offered them to me. Well they fit great! Lots of room, pockets, and footies!! LOL

So we lay in bed and start cuddling....

He initiates a conversation that I thought would never happen, or at least not happen for awhile. He wants me to be his steady girlfriend! It seems that the thought of me going out with other guys was enough to push him over the edge, so to speak. He wants me all to himself!

After he got through all the word tumbling and fumbling to actually ask me, we started joking about it... 'cause that's who we are... I asked if that meant i got to wear his letterman's jacket, he said sure, he even has his class ring still. LOL then he said "I guess that means we're going steady"
ME: "wow that's a little 1955"
Bruce: "oh and asking to wear my letterman's jacket isn't?"

Ahhh good times. And to let you all know we still did not have sex that night, just lots of cuddling and kissing (wahoo!!).

Saturday: we got up later than we had intended because we were up till 3 am talking and cuddling. so we got the cooler packed and headed out. We went to Red Rock Canyon NCA. There is a great 4x4 road that used to be the old road to Pahrump, NV. Lots of big rocks for his rock crawler Jeep (i'm going to see if he will let me post a pic of it so you can see just what a monster it is) to climb all over. He took me up to the "concrete picnic table" which was a very pretty little spot with some nice exploration potential. I only did a little bit because I did not wear my climbing boots. We ate, we laughed, we walked around a little bit. Oh yeah and we got "Back to Nature" in the back of the Jeep.. tee hee what an experience...

Saturday night we went to my friend's for margaritas and movies, we picked up my son on the way and we spent a few hours watching a very strange animated movie called Wizards. yikes. Then all three of us went back to his place and crashed.

Sunday was spent watching movies and Bruce* and Sparky* working on the front end of Sparky's car. DJ ate candy and drank milk and attempted to destroy half of Bruce's stuff. Bruce is very patient. Lucky me!!

Then Bruce* took me and DJ home Sunday evening...

wow is all I can say. I go into the weekend expecting nothing more than some cuddling and a fun time hiking around Red Rock... and I walk away with the one thing I wanted more than anything else... Bruce*.. AWESOME!!!!

Needless to say I now need to change the main format for my blog.. I can either stay on track and make this about my relationship with Bruce* or I can turn it into a blog about work, or about my more mundane life (the drama my family puts me through would make a great lifetime movie) . Or...

I can take suggestions from you... the 7 people who read my blog and the 3 or 4 who read it regularly... post a comment on this blog with your suggestions, or if you have my email addy, shoot me an email....

on a side note... do you know what is like to go through and change 3 myspace's, a facebook and 4 internet dating website profiles? Sheesh but it was well worth it!!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Holy Crap that came from left field!!

I have some very exciting news for you all!! I am working a big post about the events of this weekend... you are never going to believe it!! I'll probably get it posted late monday or eraly tuesday... this is blog changing stuff here guys!! and keep an eye out on my poetry blog for some new stuff to be posted this week as well!!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, November 7, 2008

A blast from the past.. and what could be the begining of Round Two

So last night I went out with an old boyfriend of mine...


I know

Actually I'm having a problem coming up with a "Name" for him. He has the exact same real name as Charlie* but I can't very well call him Charlie 2. For now I am going to call him STG. You see every story about him that I tell always starts off with "I used to date thie Super-Tech-Geek..." SO STG it is... for now.

We went out and shot some pool at a popular poll hall here in Vegas called The Cue Club. We talked and got caught up. He's still single and a geek, but he is a different kind of geek from your regular geeks... he beats up other geeks... LOL

He is an amazing pool player... probably should be playing pro... but if you ask him why he'll tell you: "I love playing pool, if I did it for a living I would eventually hate playing it" I get that. This guy makes most pros look like idiots... he can play an entire game one handed... (he used to be able to break one handed but hasn't done it in a while). Years ago when we were dating he taught me to play behind my back... he tried to teach me to "jump" the ball but I could never get it.

Last night he flirted ridiculously with me. It was strange and familiar all at the same time. I am not the same person today that I was when we were dating. Back then We flirted so much it made people sick... but I am kind of out of practice flirting... I blushed alot.... LOL yeah I blushed.

All in all it was a great night. We talked about the old days, and our crazy exes... I talked about my son, he talked about why he dates younger girls (easy to train and eager to please)... its probably a good thing I am almost a year older than him.

He was very much a gentleman at the end of the evening, took me home and wished me a good night. very sweet.

Now for today and tomorrow....

Today Bruce* is picking me up and taking me to my poetry showcase this evening. Afterwards we are going back to his place and I am going to sleep there so that tomorrow we can get an early start on our picnic.

Never fear everyone I am resolved that we will not be doing anything... intimate ...friends don't do that and since we are just friends... well you know how it goes. I'm not sure if he really gets that I was serious when I told him no sexual intimacy. Well we shall see. I want to talk to him tonight and make sure he gets it... no heavy petting, no sex. I agreed to cuddling because I don't really want to give that up.

I am emotionally involved with this thing and I don't know if I want to get myself any more stuck on this guy than I already am. I have a sneaky suspision that he may never want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. Now that could just be my neurotic side speaking but I am going to be more careful this time around...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I'm a Schmuck

So in my previous post about my BIG talk with Bruce* it seems I made it sound like he was a schmuck... I did not reread it before I posted it. But now that I have reread it I am appalled at how I make it sound.

The feeling I tried but failed to convey was that I had overdone it. I tried too hard. I did not even mention that while my new hair cut is cute, my sister curled it, and I really did not like it curled. Actually I thought I looked like I was either too young trying to look more grown up or too old trying to look younger...

No matter what Bruce* wears he looks great. He has a confidence about him that makes you look past the material he is clothed in.

The talk itself was actually very easy. It's probably the only time a guy has talked to me about not being in a relationahip with me that I actually understood why. He was very sweet and really did not want to hurt me. Of course he didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. duh. He has been nothing but honest from the beginning.

We really were moving too fast. In all of our original talks we had been pretty adamant about being friends first (both of us). But somehow things got away from us. Who knows how it happened it just did.

The only reason I am as upset about this as I am is that I really was starting to fall for him. He is amazing. He is patient and caring and one of the most thoughtful people I know. He takes what you say into consideration. He listens and understands. He never criticizes me, even when I really deserve it.

You don't meet many men like that (hell you barely meet women like that). How could I not fall for the guy? My last two relationships were with men, nay boys, who were selfish and could not have cared less what my feelings were. They were self absorbed to the point where if things did not go their way in our relationship it was always my fault. I didn't have a high enough sex drive, or my attention to my responsibilities took attention away from them. My want to better myself was a personal assault on them. If I wanted to dress up or look nice they thought I was trying to be a snob or make them look bad.

This is probably where the whole feeling overdressed thing came from. I got so programmed by these two guys to never try harder that when I did dress up for Bruce*, I felt like I was overdoing it (even when he said I looked really pretty).

What it boils down to is that I have issues that I am learning to work through. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I don't even realize what I am doing untill someone says something to me. Sometimes I catch them myself and am able to correct them. And Sometimes I wander blindly around making mistakes and screwing things up and I don't even realize I'm doing it untill its too late.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


So Friday was Halloween. And it was the first halloween my son actively participated in (He just turned 3 on the 20th). He went as a fireman. He picked out the constume all by himself. And since I am just a big kid I dressed up too. I went as "The Harried Mother of a Three Year Old".
I put on my jammies and my bath robe and pulled my hair up into a very messy ponytail.

Trick or treating was a bummer. With the economy as it is people skipped buying candy this year. We only hit 5 houses that had candy and hundred others with proch lights on that didn't even bother to put up a "no candy" sign... bastards. So he did not get much candy and with his allergies to peanuts and eggs only half of that he could eat. Of course I get the rest... Muwawawa.

He had so much candy that night that he had a major sugar high... He was standing out side on the porch just looking at me and out of nowhere he just started bouncing around... it was so funny my sister and I fell out of chairs laughing.

A little later I was lounging on the floor in the living room while my sister ate candya nd watched TV and the little man brought his pillow over and said:

"I wanna lay down with you"

He put his pillow down on the floor next to me and squirmed around for about 2 mins then he got very very still....

Candy crash... awesome!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Shakespeare ain't got nothing on me...

I feel like I'm in a really bad Shakespeare love tragedy....

Sorry it has been awhile since my last post. Its been a very busy weekend.

On Friday my sister graduated from school. She is now just waiting to take her final state board test and then she will be fully licensed to practice cosmetology in the state of Nevada. So we have been celebrating that all weekend. Took her dinner and took her shopping. Great fun

Then we get to Saturday. My sister has been begging me tot cut my hair so I let her to do it. after all that night was the BIG night. The BIG talk between me and Bruce*. I wanted to look damn cute, irresistible. She and I went out and I bought a whole new outfit just for the occasion. I knew which way the conversation would go, but me, being the ever hopefull one, was going to do everything in my power to keep it from going that way.

So now I have this really great hair cut, and awesome new outfit (plus a new jacket that I really needed anyway), my favorite heels, my favorite perfume, make-up... everything is in place. Now mind you, we are going to one of the best italian places in Vegas, Carluccio's. I am dressed to the 8's (the nines would have been a dress and some sparkly jewelry). I am ready to wine and dine. I'm ready to knock his socks off.

He shows up to get me in jeans and a t shirt....
rule number one ladies: when you're going to have a talk with a guy about your relationship and he shows up in jeans and a t shirt, just turn around and go back inside and change...

Now I get that he is a t-shirt and jeans guy, but I warned him that I would be gussied up. I had no problem being dressed up more than him, but I was hoping that he would at least wear a button down... (I have too much hope sometimes).

So we get there and order and I ask him... "Do you want to talk about this now?"

Him: "No let's wait till after dinner"

So we eat and really enjoy oursleves. By the way if you go you have to try the Caramel Apple Martini... its yummy. Conversation is never hard for us. We laugh all the time whenever we are together..

So dinner is good and I pay the bill... I wouldn't let him pay. There is no way I'm letting him pay for what may be the last date we ever go on. We get out to the the Jeep and we start having the convo...

"why do you think we're moving too fast"

"Your great, but..."

I'm starting to choke becuase I can't breathe. The air is too thick in the cab I need fresh air and a cigarette (I left mine at home in the hopes that things would go well and I would a big kiss). SO I ask him if we can drive somewhere where we can sit outside and talk, and if we can stop so I can get smokes. We decide on Sunset Park. We can sit on a bench next to the lake.

Before I light my cigarette I ask if I can get a kiss. He kisses me. He kisses like no other person I know. He emotions are completely wrapped up in his lips. So even with the peck I got I could feel the sadness and the regret. I knew right then and there where the rest of the evening was going.

The conversation itself was short and non-messy. The end result is (drum roll please)

We are just friends. We are not a "couple". We are not going to be intimate anymore. And no more kissing or cuddling.

We continued talking and acting all brave like we're ok with it. But I had to control my tears quite a few times... and at least once for him I saw the shine of unshed tears (or it could again have just been my hope f*cking with me).

I had to stop on the way back to my house to pick up some diapers for my son... and as I'm walking back to the check out line, guess what comes on the radio over head...

Phil Collins "I can't stop loving you"

so I had a little breakdown in the chip isle at Albertson's while holding 2 supper packs of pull-ups. But be proud of me. I pulled it all back together and walked out with at least a little smile. I did not shed a single tear the whole way home in his Jeep. I had him take me to my mom's house becuase I knew I was going to need my sister.

I don't even think he was all the way pulled out of the driveway before I was balling. My sister... god bless her... brought me vodka and tequila. I drank the last of the vodka and a vast majority of the tequila... Then EZ (who had been out of town all day) sends me a text and wants to know if I want to go out.. well hell why not. So we go to a favorite bar of ours and I tell her the whole story (and drink an easy 4 shots of Jack Daniels).

The best song to describe it is by Big and Rich. "Drinkin' 'bout you"

Of course the whole time I am out with EZ Bruce and I are texting. And we came to another agreement... we both are going to miss the cuddle time way too much to give it up.. so We will keep cuddling... I just hope we can control ourselves and keep it at that. (probably not but its not like I really care).

Today is tuesday... it has taken me 2 days to write this post becuase I keep having to stop for little breaks and cry. Yesterday I came clean to Bruce and told him things I never should... Like "every moment with you is poetry" and "Being near you makes me happy" He took it all in stride and is still talking to me. I'm not sure what has really changed between us... besides the fact that we say we aren't going to be intimate anymore...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.