Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Fine Line...

There is a fine line between dating and friends...

Steve* and I are friends. We hang out together, we talk to each other everyday and we share our thoughts on relationships and life. But we are not sleeping together.

Bruce* and I are dating. We hang out together, we talk to each other everyday and we share our thoughts on relationships and life. We are sleeping together.

Bruce thinks our relationship is moving too fast. That we did not give ourselves time to become friends before we became lovers. I can see how he might think this. I can see that in less than a month we jumped from "Hi my name is...." to "OH GOD YES!!!". But I completely disagree with him.

You see there 2 paths people can take in life when it comes to relationships. The first path is the path of friendship. Learning each other's likes and dislikes. Learning what makes each other laugh. Forming a bond that sometimes reaches deeper than the bond of blood family. With a true friend you can honestly be yourself, there are no public masks between the two of you. You can practically tell what the other person is thinking about any given subject. A simple look between you can convey an entire conversation.

The other path we take in relationships is the path of lovers. It has the same qualities as the path of friendship with the added quality of intimacy. Both physical and mental intimacy. You share with your lover the things you don't share with a friend, even a true friend. No matter what there are things you keep from your friends, but that you don't keep from a lover. You can't keep them from a lover, your intimacy prevents it.

Some people disagree with me on this point. Some people tell me that they don't share everything with their lover, or that they share more with their friends. Or that they aren't that close to their friends. I tell them that this is how I see it and they needn't worry about it. But I digress...

I believe that Bruce and I are walking the paths to friendship and lovers at the same time. We are discovering the intimacy and honesty at the same time. I don't think we are moving too fast. and I don't think we are moving too slow. I think that the pace we are taking is just right, for us (or at least me).

But if Bruce* thinks we are moving too fast then we shall slow up. I'm not sure how he wants to achieve this. We are supposed to have a sit down on Saturday to talk it out, but as it turns out we are having dinner tonight. Perhaps we will discuss things tonight, or maybe we'll keep the conversation on the back burner till Saturday.

He asked me if I was talking to anyone else (I'm assuming he meant "seeing" as well). As it turns out I'm not. I'm not getting any response from the Internet dating scene and my attempts to attract attention in the real world are met with... well nothing.

EZ tells me sometimes I have to be the "approacher". I understand that, and since I hate public humiliation, I have learned to read body language and find a guy who might be approachable. (years of hard work and practice and lots of reading). Sadly sometimes I am wrong and still am faced with "the smile". Everyone both male and female knows what I am talking about. Its the smile given to you by the person you have asked to dance, or if you can buy them a drink, or whatever opening line you used who is not receptive to your advances. It is a mixture of pity and regret. It says in the language of lips "I'm sorry, but no. And even if I were available it would still be no. However, I am flattered."

I'm a little put off by the whole shy men thing. I am tired of doing all the leg work (literally, as when I am out "hunting", if you will, I'm usually in heels). I am tired of approaching guys and getting "the smile" or even "the laugh" (that's the "I can't believe you would think I'm interested" laugh). In my fairytale world the guy approaches me and says hi. But guys are getting more and more gun shy because of the women out there who are raising their standards to unreachable heights and don't even want to entertain the idea of a regular Joe buying them a drink.

Again I have digressed...

So here is where it stands with me and Bruce*:
I am going to let him decide the pace, but I am going to have some very specific rules, which I won't reveal here since he reads this. (no sense in giving him a heads up).

About me dating other people.. meh
I am actually not really interested in dating anyone else right now. I have found a guy that, so far, displays a vast majority of the qualities I am looking for. Why not pursue it? Why not give it my all?

My final decision will just have to wait until after Bruce* and I have that sit down heart to heart. I'm hoping he can see things from my perspective, or that how he plans on slowing things down will work for me. If not, well who knows, maybe we can find a compromise or maybe we just become really good friends...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Movie Review

Check out my Movie Review over at Mooog's Movie Reviews, and while your at it get a whiff of his Mental Poo and be prepared to laugh... that is some funny sh*t....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Crazy Hormonal Me

Now that I can look back on it.. I laugh. but at the time.... YIKES

On friday I went to the movies with Bruce*, Spanky*, and Sparky. We watched Saw V (AWESOME) Afterwords we went to a popular taco establishment. I figured I was going to get a kiss at some point in the evening so I refrained from smoking. Bruce* doesn't like kissing me after I smoke.

But he didn't kiss me.. something about having hot sauce on his breath... Like I care.

After we went our seperate ways I sent the following text:
"You know I didn't smoke tonight becuase I thought I was getting a kiss"

I got no response... at all... and nothing the following morning... or afternoon... I worked myself into a pitiful worried mess..... I was sure that my text message had ruined everything. I wrote him an email... it was long and slightly incoherrent.

at 5:00 pm he finally sent me a text.... apparently the night before he downed a half bottle of nyquil because of this cough he has developed and it put him out. He even died his hair blue while under the influence....

Now I can laugh about it. mostly becuase Bruce is so easy going that the crazy chick email did not even phase him. And because the hormone levels have finally returned to normal. We never did make it to our picnic on sunday.

instead I went to his house and played nurse. making him drink terrible teas and take hot baths. I brought my son along (because I had too) and Bruce didn't mind. We watched kid movies and ate something called "Hot Zasta". a family creation of his that was suppossed to give me an intestinal hot flash today... but so far nothing... Better luck next time buddy. Either that or let me give it a go... I can cook spicy.....

So the weekend went rather well. My tattoo is healing nicely and I didn't screw things up with Bruce*. He even forgave my psycho hormonal other personlaity. Which is a big plus for him.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday update

Time to update all of you.
This week has been frought with baby daddy drama. Becuase of it my camping trip for the first weekend of November has been cancelled. And also my mid week dating trips have to be put aside for now. Also with today's economy I may have to sell my house, downgrade and get a second job....
I was very worried about this. Bruce* is big about making time and not getting caught up in more than you can handle... But when I talked to him and explained things. he simply said:
"We'll looks like we spend more time at your house"
I used to have a rule about no guys at the house. But not anymore. Crap now I have to clean the floors...

Of course now what I had hoped was going to be a nice romantic picnic on sunday has been interuppted by my "Aunt Flow" and DJ. No problem. Bruce is putting the back seat into the Jeep and we'll strap the kid in and take an easier trail. All his idea. Yeah I know.
Now for the scary stuff:
My son has always been a little on the strange side. WHen he was just 3 months old he was diagnosed with acute eczema. Just imagine your skin being so dry and thin that every time you scratch you bleed. Now add to that an itchieness that is about 100 times greater than poison ivy, sumac and oak combined.

He was pretty much one big weeping scab for about 15 months. We tried everything. and some things would work for a little while and then he would be itchy and scabby again. Finally when he was a little bit over a year old his doctors decided to put him on a high dose short term steroid push. He had been on low dose steroid creams and ointments for a while but they just weren't doing enough. The only worry was if it would delay some of his speech faculties.
Well it did. It seemed he was getting better for the last year or so and his pediatrician was positive with the outlook. But today was DJ's 3 year well check visit.

Combined with his Speech issues and his potty training issues and some very strange OCD things he has (he is wierd about things being lined up and color coordinated) he has Dr. M a little worried. Nothing big like autism but maybe ADD in the begining stages. In December DJ is going to see a speech pathologist and and phsycologist. IF it is ADD i do not want to put him on meds. instead I am going to search for a non-pharmacological method of trying to overcome it. If you have any ideas let me know. in the mean time keep your fingers crossed for the little guy.

NOW for the cool stuff:
Me and Spanky have been talking about getting matching tattos for a little over a year now. and last night we finally did it. My dad Paid for them as a grad present for her and a b-day present for me. here are the pictures:

This is her's it says "Baby Sister" and at the bottom for the squiggly is a pair of cutting shears. She's a hair dresser. It is "shaded" so it looks very girly.
This is mine. It says "Big Sister" and at the bottom of my squiggly is an Ahnk (Egyptian symbol of life). Mine is completely colored in so it does not look as girly.
The script is the same and the squiggly is the same. But we didn't want them to be exactly the same. the litle differences in them are reflective of the differences in us.

My son got to watch the last little bit of my tattoo and when I got out of the chair he sat down, said "MY turn", put his arm out and pulled up his shirt-sleeve. SO the artist pulled out a sharpie and drew this on his hand:

One very cool Dragon

Oh yeah and Bruce* came along to offer his support and toddler sitting skills. He kept DJ entertained for most of the night while we got our ink done. Once again.. Yeah I know. This guy is great.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Men in My Life Part 2

This post has been added in addendum to the previous post today. I was reminded that I left out one of the most influetntial men in my life:

9. L.Dog: Yes that is his name. He is my boss. He has been a faithful reader of my blog. His inspirational anal winds have made me slightly scent resistant. Without his humor and wit my work day would be frought with adult conversations.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

The Men in My Life

Today's post is an easy read. I am going to give you the run down on the men in my life. Sorry to tell you this but Charlie is included... I know I said I wouldn't blog about him anymore but well... he is in my life and this blog would not be complete without him. Besides doesn't it make you feel good that I'm a bigger loser than you?

1: My son. He is the Sun my world revolves around. I have been very lucky that he is an amzing little person. He is so creative and artistic. At three years old he makes his own toys... I'm not talking about using rocks as cars or trains (which he does), but takes normal household items and turns them into toys... for instance: He took my sister Spanky's* keys, a straw and a wet nap and put them together in a way that it created a little bird. And he was making it flap its wings and fly around... how many three year olds do you know who can do that? He is kind and loving and curious and brave. I can only hope that he keeps all these traits as he grows up.
My morning prayer:
"Please, please, please, please don't let me screw up this kid up!!"

2: My Dad. He like the rest of my family has his moments of complete insanity, but for the most part he is a really good guy. If it weren't for him I would probably have been homeless a few times. He taught me to be a real woman; how to change my own oil, tires, and air filter. As I was growing up he taught me the nuances of "inner tubing" and crawfish catchin'. He drove us all over the country on our summer vacations, with out him I would never have seen the Statue of Liberty or that little brew pub in San Luis Obispo that turned out to be a gay bar.

3: Bruce*. He is the epitome of sweet. Sometimes I wonder if I have been dreaming about him or if he is real. If you have been reading you know all the really sweet things he has done since day one. But I wonder how long it will last. I am not being pessimistic just realistic. Will he stay like this forever and even if we don't work out still be friends? or Will he change in a few months and then decide he can find something else that is "better" (you can't get much better than me)? One the one hand I know where I could go with this, but on the other do I want to set my self-up for another bone-shattering fall?

4: Steve*. He is one of my best friends. I feel I can tell him anything, he is my male version of EZ. He has never been judgemental and has even given me some great advice. I want him to see himself like I do: an amazing person whose heart is bigger that he lets on. He has so much to offer the world but has shut himself up becuase of stupid people. I say let them be stupid you just outshine them all.

5: Charlie*: What more can I say about him? He is a friend, or more correctly I should say I am his friend. I do for him what I do for so many others. But he taught me something. He taught me that my heart is more fragile and precious than anything else in this world. He taught me that I need to be very careful before I going making assumptions, that I should not hold any expectations no matter what. He taught me that sometimes we say things and mean them at the time but that in a few minutes/hours/days/weeks those things have no meaning. Its becuase of him that I am afraid of letting myself go with Bruce*. Well that and the fact that I might scare Bruce away if I really did let go. I can be pretty intense. (duh poet)

6: Baby Daddy: He's a pain the butt. However without him I would not have my son... soo.... I guess I am grateful for that.

7: Joe*: My religous leader (one of them). He's a cool guy but like everyone else in this world has his issues

8: My original Muse: A guy I thought loved me once... Turns out I was just an easy lay. Lots of good poetry written for him!

Thats it. Its a short list. Sad. I keep rereading and thinking I should take something out so that I don't offend anyone... but what the heck. Bruce, Charlie and Steve all read this blog. Steve would be mad at me if I edit this for someone's feelings. Bruce might run away screaming, and if he does then it wasn't meant to be (however I will need my own shoulder to cry on if that happens). Charlie appreciates my honesty, and since I never see him face to face I don't have to worry about seeing the pity in his eyes.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bite of Las Vegas 08 all pictures courtesy of Bruce*

Me helping Spanky Get dressed in the middle of Bite of Las vegas

Spanky at her finest
DJ playing with EZ's IPhone
The First time down the huge blow up slide
The second time down the huge blow up slide. Backwards is always better!
Artistic shot of a three year old in a bouncey thing.
DJ defeats mommy in wrestling
People Watching.
DJ sitting on Bruce's motorcycle
WOO HOO lets ride!
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Another weekend... A new milestone

First let me be a mommy.

Today is my son's birthday. He turned three at 12:20am today. I woke up this morning expecting some great change... alas. nothing other than his new hair cut which he got yesterday.

This is him pre-hair cut:

He is a huge batman freak so his Grandpa got him about 6 batman books. Including a sticker book. Have you ever seen a three old with a sticker book? In about 5 minutes flat he had covered himself head to toe in batman stickers.

Here are a couple of shots of him post hair-cut:

Handsome little devil. My sister Spanky* is a beautician and she has been bugging me since his first hair cut to give him a mohawk. I refused until this year. I always thought it looked kind of stupid on kids (and adults too for that matter). So this time I was only going to let him keep it like that for a few weeks... but after it was all done... I like it. And he does too. You can't deny a three year old who looks in the mirror and says:

"Wow my hair is cool"

I love ya little dude!

Ok here goes:

the weekend as planned:

Friday night - Stay over at Bruce's (Spanky owes me an evening of babysitting)
Saturday - Go to the "Bite of Las Vegas" food and music festival with Bruce, Spanky, EZ, My dad, My son, and Steve (if we can pull him away from his job), hey who knows maybe we'll get Sparky to come too!
Sunday - BB-Q with dad and Spanky to celebrate my son's 3rd Birthday! YAY LITLTE MAN! his b-day is actually on Monday,but everyone has to work.

The weekend as it went:

Friday night - Got picked up Bruce's Bad Ass Motorcycle. mmmmm mommy likes. Got Laid

Saturday - Bruce* made me breakfast. Then we met my sister, Spanky*, and my son at the Bite of Las Vegas. We were later met by EZ, but all the others flaked or had to work. I was really nervous becuase my son had been a real pain in the butt all week long. I did not want Bruce's first impression of my son to be that of a whiney brat. But all in all he did pretty good. The music was not that great, but the food was good. I have fallen in love with a new place called Stripburger. I'm going to have to try it for real. We got there about 11 and by 2:30-3:00 we were fooded out and bouncy housed out. So we set up shop in nice open grassy area, where we could digest our food and people watch. We could still here the music (all the bands sounded the same). Boy howdy though the people watching was excellent. We got to watch a myriad of "Emo" people.

best quote of the day:"you can't really tell which ones are boys and which ones are girls"

We also got to watch a mother bitch slap her daughter for some unknown reason while she screamed at 2 other kids that she was going to the cops and finding their parents. We suspect some mary jane in the bathroom was responsible. But lets not forget the plethra of high heal - short skirt - nearly gone top clad girls. In Vegas they could have been anything from hookers, to strippers to high schoolers... who knows, maybe a combination of all three.

This was the best part of the day becuase we got to relax and talk. DJ (my son) was pretty cool. he only acted crabby at the end of the evening, of course he did not nap all day. Bruce and DJ wrestled.. wait let me amend that. DJ climbed all over Bruce and Bruce took it like a champ. He tickled DJ untill he was weak with laughter. DJ did a few flying pile drivers onto Bruce who took it like a man and quickly flipped DJ on to his little butt... all in all it was very cute.

DJ got more male stimulus in a single day with Bruce than he gets all week from his own father. I'm a little scared for 2 reasons:

1. DJ gets attached to people very easily. So easy in fact that he still talks about Bruce tickling him.
2. I get attached to people easily. Very Easily! In a previous post I revealed how easy it will be to fall in love with this guy. I am trying really hard not too. REALLY HARD.

So at the end of the evening we all walked back to the parking lot. I had to unload my stuff from his saddle bags and transfer it to my sister's car. While doing this my son got sit on Bruce's motorcycle while wearing the helmet I use. Bruce got some great pics of this and hopefully tomorrow I can post them.

In case you didn't know Bruce is a photographer in his spare time (aka its his hopbby) and he is a really good one. He even maganed to get some decent shots of me (I am notoriously unphotogenic). When I get more pics from Saturday I will post them.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Uh Oh....

Welcome back readers to the fantastic voyage of my life.

First let me tell you a little secret. A few blogs ago Bruce* started reading my blog. Yes the guy I have been seeing is reading my uber secret blog. He gets to read all about my insecurities and complete idiocy.

EZ asked me if this will affect my writing...

No I don't think it will. You see I have always been much better at expressing myself in the written word. Its like my brain is connected directly to my hands (insert strange fore finger and thumb wiggling as seen in "The Science of Sleep"). There is a disconnect between the expression center of my brain and my mouth. This means that when I try to express myself, in any way, through the verbal medium one of two things happens:

1. I sound like a CD that has traveled through the washer and dryer. Constantly stuttering and repeating myself, occasionally not making any sense at all .

2. I sound like a robot. The robot part I am working on with my poetry performance.

If I changed my writing here because some guy, that I happen to really like, is reading this I would not be truly expressing myself and then things could go horribly wrong...

For instance: My head would explode. OR EZ would get really tired of listening to me. (which might already be happening)

Now for the Bruce* update:

Yesterday, while on my way to work, Bruce* was texting me about being at Dunkin Donuts (the best coffee and donuts ever) and the rather large woman who was wearing thin white pants..oh the humanity...

I mentioned that donuts and coffee sounded good. I had every intention of waiting for the "Roach Coach" to arrive and get myself some of those prepacked GEM donuts and a really crappy burnt decaf.... about 10 mins after I got to work Bruce sends me this text:

"Smoke Break in 20 mins?"
ME: "Sure"
Bruce: "Cream and Sugar?"
ME: "Just Cream"

about 15 mins later

Bruce: "where do I park"
ME: "in the back if you'll fit" (his work truck is ENORMOUS)
Bruce: "Here"

And in he walks with...

Yeah that's right!

A large Decaf and 25, count them 25, Donut holes (bite sized donuts), a pumpkin muffin, and half a blueberry cake donut (he's man with a weakness for blueberry donuts).

He hangs out while I foist at least half of these donut holes on my office mates and eat the other half. We chat and drink our coffee. Then I walk him out to his truck and hug him and off he is into the sunrise... of course we sent text and calls all day.

What a freaking sweetie!!!

Yeah yeah I know I have said that before... but... well... its true

So now for today!

He sends me a pic of his breakfast. Country Fried Steak and Eggs from Black Bear Diner. If you have never had the privilege of eating at this fine establishment, I suggest you run out and do so right now... I'll wait for you

See. What did I tell you....

ME: "Bastard, you know that's my favorite"
Bruce: "Well I had an extra one, but you called me a bastard"
ME: "You are the sweetest man in the whole world"
Bruce: "Big 1 or small? and how do you want your eggs?"
ME: "Small. eggs scrambled with cheese"
Bruce: "cheddar, american, swiss"
ME: "Cheddar"
Bruce: "Hashbrowns and wheat toast"
ME: "Sure"
Bruce: "Jelly?"
ME: "Blackberry"

OH YEAH! Eat my left butt-cheek ladies
This guy brought me breakfast.. TWICE

He went out of his way two days in a row. to bring me what I wanted. With out me even asking (or well not really asking anyway).

ME: "Guess what"
EZ: "What"
ME: "I just had country fried steak and eggs from BBD courtesy of the sweetest man on earth"
EZ: "Yup, no getting around the falling love thing with this boy"
ME: "Yeah thats exactly what I was thinking"

Uh Oh......

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Poetic Verse and how I really feel about Bruce

Well. Wasn't I surprised when Bruce* accepted my invitation to join me and EZ for any evening of poetry.

Every Tuesday EZ and I go to a little place called ReJAVAnate for their open mic poetry reading. EZ doesn't go for the poetry, she goes to support me and to drink coffee. I go to try out my new stuff and to work on my performance. My beginning in the poetry world was with a slam venue. I learned how to perform as a slam poet. However this is not the only way. I am learning this, slowly. I have to learn how to slow down and how to put more emotion in my voice. Actually I am pretty good at putting angry, hurt, jaded emotion in my voice (the slam poet in me). Now I am working on really laying my soul bare and showing people how my poetry really affects me... that is some scary shit.

Oh yeah back to Bruce*.

So being me and wanting to spend as much time was possible with the Bruce-Man, I asked if he would like to come and watch. In case you had forgotten, Bruce* is also a poet, but he has never gotten up and spit. (that is slam slang for "read your poetry out loud to an audience") I want him to come and maybe get the performance bug like I have... then EZ won't be coming for just me. (thanks EZ!!)

Bruce* is a little bummed that Steve* has to work and can't come (those two are like peas in a pod). But he agreed to come. And not only did he agree to come he agreed to pick me up! (100% bonafide sweetie) I spent the evening trying to concetrate on my poetry, which is not easy to do when all I want to do is crawl into Bruce's lap and kiss him senseless. EZ and Bruce* play a game of scrabble on EZ's IPhone. I till her all the time that it isn't as cool as she thinks it is... but i'm lying it is. They at least take the time out to watch me and cheer for me. And all three of us, between rounds of scrabble and performance, keep Steve* updated through text messages.

After the last of the patrons is swept out the door, we mosey over to what has become our regular Tuesday-after-poetry spot. Its a nice little bar called Ichabod's. They play jazz music and have comfy seating and the bartender remembers what we like to drink. You can't really beat that. We order, we eat. We laugh. Bruce* teases me because it is fairly obvious that the waiter (who is cute) has a little crush on me.

One the one hand I am not annoyed by Bruce* doing this because I know he is trying to emphasize that fact that we are "friends". But I do wish he would just give it up already. I get it buddy! I know that you don't want any PDA becuase you still aren't sure were you want this thing between us to go. I know that you (sort of) regret having sex after we agreed to wait, even if you do deny that you regret it. I am a "live in the moment" kind of girl. I plan for the future but I live in the moment. Right now the moment I want to live in revolves very closely around Bruce*.

This does not mean I want to get married *shudder* nor does it mean that I am tying myself down to him. It simply means that I am enjoying his company and want to enjoy it as often as possible. It means that I want to sit in his lap and kiss him senseless in the middle of my new poetry venue. It means I want to sneak a kiss from him every opportunity I can; in public, in private, in front of my sister, in front a perfect stranger, I don't care. Just plant those sweet lips on mine and make me forget the rest of the world for just a minute.

Now there are 2 reasons that Bruce is the only guy I am dating right now:

#1 I really like him. This is the most important reason. I can see this going somewhere. It scares the crap out of me, but what the heck, I have played it safe in the past and look were it got me.... (To be honest I like Bruce about 700 times more that I ever did Charlie*)

#2 There really isn't anyone else interested in "dating" me. I have not stopped crusing my internet sites just because I am "seeing" Bruce*. He made it very clear that he wanted to date other people. Which is fair. I have no claim on him. But it seems that all the other guys I meet (both online and off) just want a quick one night stand, or a regular f*ck buddy. This isn't what I want, so that leaves me crusing the sites shooting off a hundred emails a week with little to no response.

The evening ended with Bruce* taking me home and kissing me. It was a nice kiss but it wasn't what I'd had in mind. Well onward we trek.

This weekend the tentative schedule is this:
Friday night - Stay over at Bruce's (Spanky owes me an evening of babysitting)
Saturday - Go to the "Bite of Las Vegas" food and music festival with Bruce, Spanky, EZ, My dad, My son, and Steve (if we can pull him away from his job), hey who knows maybe we'll get Sparky to come too!
Sunday - BB-Q with dad and Spanky to celebrate my son's 3rd Birthday! YAY LITLTE MAN! his b-day is actually on Monday,but everyone has to work.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, October 13, 2008

...and the angels did sing

So here it is Monday and I am so relaxed. I hurt in a myriad of places but I am relaxed. My weekend was so spectacular.

We'll take it one day at a time.

At 5pm Bruce* picked me up we went to Ren Faire. We met my sister at the back gate(because she had my ticket). We walked around and met up with my friend EZ. The four of use wandered around and enjoyed pointing out all the freaks. Of the four of us only my sister was not in Garb†. We stayed until close to ten just walking around and talking and watching belly dancers and cursing fairies. (F*cukin' Fairies) I had planed already for spending the night with Bruce*, so at the end of the evening we went our separate ways. Bruce picked me up in his Jeep. Which by the way is a monster! It has been raised and sits on tires that are so big that the floor boards of this thing are as tall as my waist. Have you ever tried to climb into a super jeep while wearing a steel-boned bodice and a long flowing skirt? Let me tell you this is not an easy task to accomplish. So as we were boarding the good ship lollipop I was hoisting my self in and not paying attention to the placement of my arms. And using all the force my great body can provide I launched myself up and into the vehicle, subsequently smashing my left elbow into the steel reinforced door separator thingy. ouch. my whole hand went numb and i could not flex my elbow. Bruce was very upset thinking that his distracting hand on my butt as I was launching was the reason for the injury. I assure it was not. As many of my close friends and relatives know, I am a klutz. The only time I am at all graceful is when I am in 3 inch heels (I can't figure that one out myself). The injury was completely my fault. When we got to his place Bruce* helped me undress (yowsa) and slip into his big fleece robe (comfy) and made me an ice pack (sweet). I got to watch as he undressed himself (which I had been looking forward to doing myself). Then we wandered back into his room where he put on some jazz (a common favorite of ours). We swayed (high school slow dancing style) in the middle of his room to the music. A couple times he moved in like he was going to kiss me...

Finally we laid down on the bed and began having this deep conversation about ourselves. As we talked we lay facing each other (me on the right side of my body because of my stupid elbow). at some point he moved in for the kill and damn near stopped my heart. He kisses like no one I have ever met. I swear on everything holy that I could feel his soul in that kiss. He said things would change when we kissed. I believe him now. That scary connection we had earlier... even scarier now because the thought of him dating other women raises the attention of my green-eyed, jealous other self.

We kissed and fondled and caressed each other until the wee hours of the morning. then we slept. We both woke up the next morning (or should I say later that morning) and talked a little while lying in bed. But the problem is that now we have broken that kissing barrier. There is nothing more sensual than cuddling under a warm blanket with someone you have feelings for while you kiss and caress on a cold autumn morning...

Spontaneity is one of the spices of life.

Somewhere during the morning we tossed caution to the wind and broke the very rule we had decided on less than 12 hours before. We had sex.

The heavens opened, the angels sang, and I am sure I woke the neighbors.

Now since by now no one is interested in how the rest of the day went I'll just give you a brief run down:
Went to Ren Faire
Met up with Steve*
Went to craft night with friends (Bruce came too)
Went to Dinner with Bruce*, Steve* and EZ
Was supposed to go home but instead was talked into (well it wasn't like he had to twist my arm) Staying another night with Bruce*.
Went back to Bruce's*
Decided to try and hook Bruce's little bro up(Sparky*) with my little sister(Spanky*).
Call them and get them to come over.
Laugh until our sides hurt from the hilarity that ensues (we are all big fans of "potty" humor)
Watch Saw IV
Go to bed
No Hankie Pankie

Woke up to Bruce telling me that he went to the store to buy Eggs and Waffles and creamer and juice, and he went to Dunkin Donuts to get me my favorite Decaf. He made breakfast and we all played (yes the little sibs stayed the night too but Hankie Pankie for them either) some crazy movie trivia game.
Went to Ren Faire (just me and EZ) for a little bit.
Went to the movies with EZ and Steve*. Then invited Bruce* to dinner with me and EZ and Steve*.
Got home and went to bed.

So there ya go. My weekend was awesome. Not only did I get the much coveted kiss, but I got a spectacular roll in the hay. And this guy, who had already been dubbed sweetie of the year, Went above and beyond and made me and my little sis breakfast. Oh and he footed the bill all weekend, except for dinner on Saturday (that was Steve*) and dinner on Sunday (That was EZ).
I can't wait till next weekend!!!

And don't forget to visit my other blog where I am showcasing my poetry and other creative writings!!
*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.
†clothes that have been made or purchased that have a medieval theme. Usually the more period accurate stuff is referred to as Garb, while that cheap crap you bought on the walmart Halloween discount rack is called a costume.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Happy Friday!

Oh Joy of Joys! The annual event guaranteed to make my breasts stand up in a position that defies the laws of gravity is here.

Yes I'm talking about the Ren Faire!

And this year... oh joy

I have a date for 2/3 of it.

Bruce* is picking me up from work, and we are going to step out in medieval fashion. I have my standard Ren gear and so does he. (just more thing we have in common) It is entirely possible that we have run into each other before at Ren Faire.

So here is the game plan:
Firday Night: Go to Faire, watch bands, eat meat pies. possibly spend the night with Bruce* (fingers crossed everyone I'm looking to get kissed tonight)
Saturday: Go to Faire, Watch freaks, eat meat pies, Have him take me home.
Sunday: Go to Faire (no Bruce*) with my son, get great last day deals, eat meat pies.

lovely isn't it. I'll post some pics and stuff on Monday, just you get a taste. tee hee.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

New stuff to share with you

In case you hadn't noticed I added a link to my new blog here at blogger. I am spreading the joy of my creative writing. It's mostly poetry with a healthy sprinkling of creative prose. Some of it is good, some of it is not that great. I am going to post once a day there (weekdays mostly) until I have run out of the stuff I already have written. If you see me post twice its because I was inspired by one of my muses.

Have fun with it. feel free to comment. and please please please give my criticism. I thrive on it.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Last you will ever see of Charlie

Well I'm doing something I never thought I would do but I kept threatening to do. I am filing Charlie* away in the friends bin. After talking with him for the last few days I have come to a realization.

Even if he and his wife don't make things work, Charlie* will never see me as more than a friend. I am probably never going to see his face in real life ever again. I am like the best thing that has ever happened to him. I am a woman he can talk too who doesn't give him any shit (ok well hardly gives him any shit), I offer a comfortable place for him to vent his frustrations, I am the sounding board for his ideas, and above all...

I will always be there to answer his calls and tell him what he needs to hear.

I am not going to ruin myself for this guy. Actually I am not even going to blog about him anymore becuase this is supposed to be about my dating. not my phone calls... LOL

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Monday, October 6, 2008


Are you a broken hearted fool?
Do you want a shoulder to cry on but no expectations?
Would you like to make a girl fall in love with you and then make her your friend?
Are you in need of a female pressence that you can walk all over and still she smiles like you walk the earth as a living god?
Well have I got a deal for you!

I have here a genuine, one of a kind, best female friend!
She does everything:
Compliments you on every aspect of your life
Supports you when you make stupid desicions
Tells you how lucky any woman would be to have you, but doesn't pressure you to date her.
She has a shoulder made of rust proof steel

If you act right now we'll even throw in a fragile emotional state that won't ever be blamed on you even though she cries everytime you get off the phone with her.

And as a bonus offer we will include unlimited dirty text messaging.

But you had better act quickly this offer is only good for an eternity.

Bruce, a motorcycle, and crappy service... what a great weekend.


I had a great time this weekend (yes I said weekend). My date with Bruce* on sunday actually started on saturday night. I'll start from the beginning...

Every saturday I have a get together with some friends. Sometimes we play games (Scrabble rocks) or we watch movies, whatever strikes our fancy. This last saturday we had a game night. After talking to Bruce* on saturday we decided that it might be better if I spent the night at his house so we could get a n early start on sunday and still get some good sleep. I'm sure by now you are standing up and giving me a big round of applause for "getting some". Hold your applause please. the story isn't over yet.

Bruce meets me at my friends place on his motorcycle (awesome). But I am right in the middle of a high stakes Scrabble game (we play for a penny a point, winner takes all) so he comes in and sits down and starts a game of rummy with some of the guys. Bruce* has already met Steve* and EZ so at least he has an in here. But in less than 5 minutes he is laughing with everyone and making jokes. (awesomer).

At some point it starts to rain, actually its a light drizzle but here in the desert any moisture from the sky is rain, Bruce says he doesn't have a problem riding in the rain if it's ok with me... heck no I don't mind. I love the rain, I love being on a motorcycle I am pretty sure this is going to be very fun.

At the end of my game we make our good-byes and get on the bike. It stops raining about halfway there so by the time we make it to his place we are dry. We plug in a movie (SAW III) and get settled on the couch. And here is where I decide that this guy can't be real:

We get comfy on the couch and start cuddling. He makes no move to grab my boob, doesn't try to distract me by playing with my hair, doesn't try to get me to give him a BJ while the movie is playing. He just sits with his arm around me occasionally rubbing his chin on the top of my head. Half way through the movie I have moved so that I am resting with my head on his shoulder and my arm around his chest. Still no uncalled for touching.

If you have ever seen any of the SAW movies you know that there are some parts where you just can't help but go "eek". I did not squeal like a little girl, I just let out a little eek when homeboy was on the rack getting twisted to pieces. Bruce says:

"Is it too much for you babe? I can turn it off if you want."

And he was completely sincere. He was not making fun of me.

Rest assured everyone, I finished the movie with only 2 more eeks.

Bed time. I'm a little nervous (though I shouldn't be I have spent the night here before, oops I think I forgot to tell you that) I know that nothing is going to happen, but still.... a girl can dream.

We slept on the bed together cuddling. We didn't get to sleep until 2am because we kept talking and we ended up getting into some heavy petting. I did not know that there is a spot on the back of my neck that will make me orgasm when nibbled. (awesomest)

Needless to say we did not get started on our journey at 6am. We left sometime after 7am. The ride up was beautiful and a little chilly, but I had my trusty "redneck†" jacket. and a big warm body in front of me so it didn't bother me too much. We went to the Mt. Charleston Lodge for breakfast.

If you have never been to the top of Mt. Charleston to the Lodge, I suggest you go. However, I suggest that you only get something to drink and don't hold your breath for a refill. The food sucks and the service sucks even worse. But the coffee and the hot cocoa were good. We had fun making fun of the crappy food and service and left still in a good mood. By the way he payed the bill even after I offered to pay for myself.

Next I wanted to take him to one of my favorite places and go hiking. He already knew that and had agreed to this. so I give him directions to get there. Now let me describe my favorite spot. This is actually a picnic area, but it is a beautiful walk to the top of the picnic area. There is a creek that runs through it all year long and you are completely shaded by super tall pine trees the whole way up; there are plenty of places to rest if you need to. The trail is paved and the first picnic bench is about 40 yards in. the second is about 10 feet from there and the third is another 10 feet. Bruce is wheezing and puffing by the time we get to the third bench. Mind you this whole time I am smoking a cigarette and talking up a storm. I am walking faster than him and I am not even breathing hard.

we stopped so he could catch his breath and joke about how of shape he is. LOL we walked back and decided to get on the bike and head back to his place. I was only a little disappointed that our hike lasted less than 20 minutes. But we went back to his place and after an invigorating heavy petting session we promptly fell asleep. I ended up being late for my meeting but so was everyone else.

All in all I had a great time.

The only thing is (now this is going to get confusing so try to follow along) We haven't kissed yet. Yes I am aware that there was heavy petting. But Bruce* categorizes kissing with sex. He says that kissing for him is just as intense as intercourse (yes he actually used that word). So, while he is ok with the petting, he still thinks it's too soon for a "real" kiss.

There are a few just things I would like to clarify for you:
I am not going to go into details about makeout sessions and heavy petting. I am going to let you know if I get to homebase and if I kiss a guy, but sorry you don't get details about those either.

Today I am paying for the 3 hours or so we spent on the motorcycle. I haven't spent that much time a motorcycle since 2000, so I am a little saddle sore and my legs are still sore from the vibrations. So if you see me today and I seem to be walking funny, its becuase of the motorcycle ride. I wish it was for other reasons, but I think I can wait for that. Somehow, I get the feeling that Sex with Bruce* is going to rock my world.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.
†I am a NASCAR fan and I have an over-sized heavy duty jacket that is covered by my favorite driver's logos and sponsors. Its bright red and navy blue with yellow and white accents. when I wear it you can see me coming from a mile away. GO #24 Jeff Gordon!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Poor Delusional Charlie

Ok So I'm not going to put myself out or hold my breath for Charlie*. In my earlier post I said I would have a hard time if I had to choose between Charlie* and Bruce*. But a friend of mine put into perspective (thanks EZ).

She said: "There is no question. You will pick the guy who has more time for you. You have been on one date with Charlie*, granted you talk to him every day and you guys get along, but he hasn't made the effort to see you again."


she's right. Do I really want to get upset or anymore attached to a guy who won't even make the effort?

Since this post is about Charlie* I will try very hard not to mention Bruce*

Today Charlie calls me. just to talk and chit chat... like he does everyday. and of course the subject of his wife (I will no longer refer to her as his ex) came up. She is moving back not only to vegas, but into his house. Not only into his house, but into his bed. And he thinks he will still be able to go out and date other people.

I just wet my pants becuase I was laughing so hard.

He says she is moving back becuase otherwise she and her kids will be homeless, ok I can understand this. But to move her back into her position of power? AKA the Queen of Charlie's World via the Power of the Shaved Kitty. He is delusional to think he will still be dating other people. HA

He has already admited to me that he can't have casual sex. He is very emotional about sex so doesn't do it with just anyone. Today he says that he is certain that they will get "intimate". Poor delusional dude still thinks he can date other people.

I'm not sure if he understands that what will happen is that she will come back and suck him in to her web. He thinks that they can live together without "being" together. He doesn't get that he is so desperate to make it work that he will allow himself to be sucked back into the same routine. He says he won't. He says that he has changed and knows that things need to be worked out if they are ever going to make it "work". But he is so adamant about going for "round two" (as he calls it) that he doesn't see in himself the desperation, the need to not be a failure at his marriage. He still loves her alot. I can hear it in his voice even when he is complaining about her. He is so much in love with her that even though she completely broke his heart he is going to give her a second chance.

I really hope it works. I hope that this crazy idiot woman really sees what she's got. Charlie is so dedicated, and loving. He worries about her kids (not his by the way). He worries about her and making sure that she has everything she needs. He calls her his best friend. I have never had a guy I was romantically involved with call me that.

So I have a message for you Erica:

WAKE THE F*CK UP! You have what every woman in the world wants. You have what every romace writer writes about. You have a guy that could almost be the "Perfect Man". You threw it away once. Now you have a chance to get it back. so stop being an idiot, selfish, bitch. The whole point of any marriage is to depend and rely on each other. Stop trying to be "independent". You have a man who wants to provide for you and your children. Not just in a materialistic way either. He wants to love you with his entire being. He wants to grow old with you. He wants to die in YOUR arms. He wants to walk your daughters down the isle at their weddings. He wants to be at every graduation. He wants to hold your grandchildren. He wants forever.

I would do anything to be loved like that.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Sweety and the Tennis Match

Ok we'll start with the sweety:
Bruce* is a 100% bonafide sweety. He's cute. He's thoughtful. He has an excellent phone sex voice. LOL I meant that his voice is so smooth over the phone he could do phone sex professionally.

On Monday I gave my number to Bruce* and he started to text me. That night we talked until 2am, and he has to be up at 4 am. Yesterday he kept trying to find a way to come meet me at work (very safe ground) but things kept getting in the way. I went to my favorite poetry venue and after some friends and I met up at a little bar in the middle of nowhere, which is close to where he lives. on a whim I invited him to come. He said he would meet us there!

I was so nervous. I found us a table where I could see out the window, so I saw him roll up on his motorcycle. I damn near creamed my pants. (Motorcycles really get me going) When he finally made it inside I saw him up close. and guess what.....

He is cuter in person than he is in his pics online!

Ahh the beauty of it all.

we talk, we laugh, we talk, we laugh. EZ (my best friend) seems to like him (which is a big plus) and Steve*, a mutual friend of mine and EZ's, seems to as well. Things are going very well.

Now this is the point where I tell you he makes an ass of himself, or he says he has to go to the bathroom and then sneaks out, or somthing like that. BUT.... instead I am going to tell you that we got along so well we made plans for an all day date on Sunday. HAHA

Which will be very nice. only one small problem.

There is an amazing sexual chemistry between the two of us.

So I was finding it very hard to keep my hands to myself. Come to find out so was he!

Today he surprised me (kind of) with lunch. He sent me a text and asked if it would be ok. Who am I to turn down a free lunch? or a chance to see him again? Besides, I wanted to see if that chemistry was still there. On his way he stopped at a drug store and asked me if I wanted gum or candy. I said gum. He asked which kind, I said "Surprise me."

When he finally gets here he hands me the bag from the drug store and says

"oh yeah and I got you a little something for halloween"


He was actually paying attention when I said that Halloween was my favorite holiday! He got me this cute little flameless candle with a Halloween motif. It's something I can keep on my desk. I got very mushy. We spent most of my lunch break (plus a few minutes) outside talking and laughing and trying really hard to keep our hands to ourselves. Yup you guessed it, the chemistry is still there during the daylight hours.

oh and about the gum. He got me like 5 packs of gum because he couldn't decide which to get me. How cute is that!

Bruce* is great!

So here is the plan for Sunday:
He is going to pick me up on his motorcycle at 6am and we are going to ride up Mount Charleston and see if the lodge is open for breakfast. If it is we'll have breakfast and then go for a hike. If it isn't we'll go for a hike all morning. I'll probably bring a back-up breakfast just in case. Then we are going to come back in town and see a movie. We have to cut the date off around 2pm because I have a meeting to go to. I'm on the planning committee for an annual charity event.

Bruce asked me if he should ask me before he kisses me or should he just go for it. I told him just go for it. So we'll see how things go on Sunday, that is if we don't find a way to sneak another get together in this week.

And now for the Tennis Match:
Charlie* is really starting to get confusing. His Ex apparently said and did some things today that has seriously swayed his thoughts on making the attempt to get back together. He's not sure if we wants to put himself through the emotional rollercoaster ride anymore. I don't blame him. after all I know exactly how he feels!

So here I am seriously thinking of telling Charlie* that I am no longer interested in pursuing anything with him. After all I'm not sure if I could handle the Charlie* rollercoaster. He doesn't seem to be able to make a choice on anything important. He delays and puts things off in the hopes that they will resolve themselves. He calls it "seeing how things will work". ugh. He keeps telling me (even after thinking he might get back together with his ex) that he wants to see me again. but he never makes an attempt to work it out so we can. I started offering ideas and plans and solutions but he found a way out of every one. So I stopped. I am going to continue talking to him on the phone, but if things start to get serious with Bruce* and I still haven't gone on a second date with Charlie* I'm going to have to tell him the truth.

"While you were hemming and hawing around about what to do with your ex I continued to date. And I met a guy who is amazing. He wants to take things to the next level and I want to give it a shot. I would like us to continue our friendship. I am pretty sure you aren't ready to start dating, even casually and as your friend I am telling you to resolve your issues with your ex. Otherwise you will never be happy"

Oh yeah and then there is Teddy* who I have decided is a real sweet heart but is just too short. I have SERIOUS issues with height. I know it sounds shallow, but I am not physically attracted to short men. Sorry Ladies I know this sets us back a few generations but thats just the way I am. I am getting together with him on Thrusday. I plan on telling him then. I have got to find a way to do it nicely.....

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, the a**holes and the clueless.